How to help a child overcome their fears, in 5 steps

Childhood is a potentially exciting stage, but it is also full of fears. At such a young age, little ones tend to adopt a type of reasoning called magical thinking, which makes them prone to invent entities that are behind the things that happen around them and that they do not fully understand. all. The uncertainty this produces can make them feel intimidated in certain types of normal day-to-day situations.

In this article we will see several tips about how to help children overcome their most irrational fears, both in terms of the world around them and in terms of their perceptions of themselves, and what can we do as parents and educators to make them trust their abilities in a reasonable and realistic.

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What to do to help children overcome their fears

The advice that you will find below must be adapted to the reality of each family and each child, since their Efficacy always depends on the context in which we live and the characteristics of each of the minors we are going to help. Both the material environment in which it has been growing, as

the relational dynamics that have been consolidated between children and their familiesas well as personality and selfconcept (perception that one has of oneself) of each infant, are very important elements to take into account.

That said, let's see the specific advice about what is recommended for children to overcome their fears.

1. Open a channel of honest communication with the minor

First of all, it is essential to create the conditions so that the boy or girl feels that she can express her fears freely and honestly, without feeling judged or judged or contributing to us putting a derogatory "label" on it. In western societies, fears are usually seen as weaknesses, and therefore they tend to be hidden. But if we show interest in learning about them to help overcome them, things change.

So the main thing is first of all to win their trust and show good intentions from the very beginning.

• You may be interested in: "The 10 reasons to stop judging others"

2. Ask directly for the root of fear

It is necessary not to beat around the bush and find out what is the perception that the boy or girl has about what they are afraid of. In this way we will know how to establish certain forecasts about the type of situations in which this fear will be expressed, and on the other hand we will know if it is based on imaginary entities or if it has a minimally material basis. Not daring to go to school because it is believed that a demon lives on the way there is not the same as being afraid of getting lost in dark places.

3. Don't ridicule their fears

From the perspective of an adult, it is very easy to assume that a child's irrational fears are nonsense, the product of a still developing mind. However, adopting that perspective is a serious mistake, since it will prevent us from connecting with the point of view of the person we want to help.

So, when you ask for information about what is happening, act as a person who does not put the focus of the question in the logical or reasonableness of that fear, but in the importance that the emotional repercussions of that fear have for the little. The important thing is not to critically and rationally analyze the chain of thoughts that sustain fear, but how to get rid of that fear.

4. be an example

This is a way to begin to break the fear. Demonstrating that it is possible to live calmly acting as if the source of this fear did not exist, we show that there are no reasons to continue to worry about this concern. To do this, perform acts that the boy or girl would not dare to perform, in or company. However, it is preferable not to do so than to force the minor to be present, because the fact of being forced or forced to do so is in itself another source of stress.

5. Create easy situations in which to break with fear

Following an ascending difficulty curve, create situations where there is a hint of that fear that the child must overcome, and do everything possible for him to go through them without backing down to avoid that discomfort. Getting out of your comfort zone in this way will be gratifying, because it will show you that your world of possible actions is broader than that fear made you see at first. Little by little, challenge after challenge, it will be easier to continue progressing until fear is practically non-existent. However, try to always be close so that the situation does not get out of control.