Let's talk about emotions

We can define emotions as a set of physiological reactions that all people experience when faced with stimuli that are presented to us.

They are brief, they can be more or less intense, they are immediate and temporary.

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understanding emotions

There is a wide range of emotions, some derived from others, but we say that we have 6 basic emotions.

• Sadness
• Happiness
• anger or anger
• Fear
• Disgust
• Surprise

They are basic emotions because can be recognized and expressed in the same way in humans. Charles Darwin, known for his theory of evolution, already said that the facial expression of these basic emotions was genetic. Almost a century later, Ekman, an expert in nonverbal behavior analysis, together with Wallace Friesen, presented the FACS (Facial Coding System).

This system collected like a map of the face, in which each gesture we make with our features is appreciated, however small it may be. What Ekman was saying is that these facial reactions or microgestures are innate and unconscious, although once the reaction occurs, we can control them.

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What is the difference between emotion, feeling and state of mind?

As we have defined, emotion is an ephemeral, fleeting, brief physiological reaction that we experience when faced with a stimulus that is presented to us.

Feelings are as if we were to say the evolution of emotions, that is, They are generated from emotions, through mental processes. In feelings, thought, reflection, awareness of emotions intervenes. In addition, unlike emotions, they are not related to a specific experience, but are more generic, for example, the feeling of guilt.

The state of mind would differ from the previous ones for being, perhaps, the least intense and the longest lasting. In addition, it is less specific than an emotion because it does not depend on something concrete either.

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Why is it important to identify, recognize and express emotions?

We can divide the basic emotions in:

• Pleasant: joy.
• Unpleasant: sadness, anger, fear, disgust.
• Neutral: surprise.

It is important to know that all emotion serves us for something (adaptation and survival), even the unpleasant ones have their function. What has been happening? That these unpleasant emotions almost always have or usually have a negative connotation. For this reason, they are emotions that we tend to avoid.

The following examples that we can receive from society come to mind: “you can't be sad because that makes you weak”, “you can't be afraid because that's for cowards”. Many times we have heard these phrases, or we have even come to say them thinking that this way we would do "more stronger or better" to the people we love or even believing that this way we would prevent them from suffering emotions negative.

The fact of knowing how to identify, recognize and express emotions allows us, in addition to the previously mentioned adaptation and survival, strengthen our ties, make decisions consciously, be able to face situations in a more adaptive way. All this leads us to feel better, both with ourselves and with others.

When we identify and express emotions, we will tend to have better emotional regulation, using adaptive strategies to deal with unpleasant emotions.

Some of these strategies are:

• Search for social support
• Physical exercise
• distractions
• Awareness of emotion and being able to process it
• Acceptance

However, when we do not achieve adequate emotional regulation, we can use other tools that would be maladaptive, whose purpose is the avoidance of said emotions: suppressing emotion, substance use, rumination (getting into thought loops). For this reason it is important to work on emotional regulation.

What happens when we don't show emotions?

Sometimes, it can happen that in the family environment there are difficulties for emotional expression, and people learn to that we have to repress certain types of emotions, which in the long term can cause discomfort, anxiety problems or depression.

In extreme cases we can find that this leads to alexithymia, that is, to a disorder that is characterized by the inability to express emotions, even to identify them in ourselves. It does not mean that in people with this difficulty there are no emotions, but that they do not know how to identify them, they have them repressed, as a defense mechanism. It is very difficult for these people to reach emotion, although therapies such as clinical hypnosis can give very good results when it comes to reconnecting with their emotions.

Let's talk about emotional intelligence: what is it?

This concept was introduced by the authors Salovey and Mayer with the following definition: subset of social intelligence that includes the ability to control one's own feelings and emotions, as well as the feelings of others, to discriminate between these feelings and to use this information to guide both our thinking and our actions. Actions".

For his part, Goleman, considered the father of Emotional Intelligence, defines it as: “the ability to recognize our own feelings and the feelings of others, motivate ourselves ourselves to be able to manage emotions correctly, both in ourselves and in our relationships with others. the rest".

Emotional intelligence, like any ability, is learned and can be trained and improved. What do we get with emotional intelligence? Improvement in emotional management, better strategies to face difficult situations, displays of affection and empathy, which it will improve our social relationships, asking for help when we need it, not suppressing unpleasant feelings, but seeing why they are there.

What can help us achieve it?

• Reflect on what we feel, giving ourselves time for it.
• Accept what we feel. And this does not only imply the emotion itself, but sometimes it implies accepting feeling vulnerable, weak and those "negative labels" that we put on ourselves if we let ourselves be carried away by certain emotions.
• Accept that there are things that we cannot control, recognizing our limits and our strengths.
• Talk about emotions. Many times we think that this is not going to help us and quite the contrary, it allows us to take care of ourselves and listen to ourselves, even sometimes, we can take perspective and understand better.
• Value the positive things we achieve, however small they may seem to us.

If you need help managing and learning from your emotions, remember that in PsychoAlmería You have at your disposal specialist psychologists who will help you in a personalized way.