Something Broke: Post Infidelity Stress Disorder

The same scientific articles that talk about the neurological and psychological effects of infidelity in love relationships, open with simply horrifying experiences on the part of those who lived through them.

It is not alien to almost all people that infidelity leaves deep emotional wounds that are difficult to suture. Curiously, when searching for scientific information on the biological impacts associated with this topic, one finds minimal availability of studies to review.

Many mental health professionals could be minimizing the impact of people being exposed to infidelity.

The psychological impact of infidelity

The breaking of agreements or any other scenario related to the abrupt loss of trust in the couple It is an issue to which most of us have been exposed at some point, lending itself even to be considered part of the teachings of life.

However, the minimization of the issue by specialists may be due to various factors. Among them, a poor focus on current social realities, such as social networks, the collective awareness of what is disposable, etc.

A brief study on infidelity carried out in Mexico by INEGI (used by several newspapers on the occasion of February 14, for of course) found very discrete differences in the overall rate of infidelity between men and women in a sample from the City of Mexico. However, these minimal differences should not let go of the high rates of violence (published by the same source) that occur in the affective relationships of Mexican couples.

• Related article: "Types of stress and its triggers"

What is Post Infidelity Stress?

The term “Post Infidelity Stress” is relatively new. (coined in 2005 by Ortman et al.) and alludes to the similarities between the emotional consequences of infidelity and post-traumatic stress disorder (mental health condition related to exposure to traumatic events severe).

This not so new term, makes visible a series of conditions in the individual related to life situations that occur with relative frequency (Up to 58% of those surveyed in a study carried out by DIVE, an application of love encounters, consider infidelity as a natural phenomenon).

In post-traumatic stress disorder, the subject has been exposed to events that put their life, physical integrity or someone else's at risk. This triggers intense emotional and physical reactions that humans are not quite ready to deal with.

These situations leave deep emotional imprints for people. Such that up to 8% of the exposed population will require specialized treatment. Apparently, a similar phenomenon occurs when a person is subjected to infidelity by the partner. Whether they are stories, images or any disturbing content that is more or less explicit (and of course not consensual).

Emotional reactions resulting from infidelity, could have characteristics similar to those caused by post-traumatic stress. These emotional phenomena are given by the natural reactions of our brain to danger.

• You may be interested in: "The 5 types of couples therapy"

emotional memory

Memories are usually stored in a brain area called the hippocampus which, in a practical way, keeps our memories in order so that in the long term they can be used for learning.

However, in the face of danger scenarios (such as finding out that our partner has been unfaithful), another brain area called the amygdala (one of the reactive centers of fear) is activated to trigger our fight or flight functions in the face of threats. This phenomenon, although natural, can be dysfunctional and trigger guilt, constant fear, difficulties in remembering the event, etc.

A person's emotional defenses may not be enough to face the scenario. Also the accumulation of physical reactions (although natural) further complicates this context, so that some people who live these events may develop lingering fears of repeat infidelity, keeping them on hyper-alert in future relations. It is not uncommon for a patient to also report having nightmares or intense physical reactions when talking about it or suspecting that the situation will repeat itself with a new partner.

• Related article: "Emotional memory: what is it and what is its biological basis?"

How do you intervene in psychotherapy when faced with these problems?

Research on this phenomenon has aroused interest in some specialists who have already developed therapeutic mechanisms to treat the sometimes negative effects of infidelity on people. Cognitive-behavioral and schema approaches not only promise improvement according to scientific evidence, Rather, they promote education for people to prevent relapses in situations that again awaken the alert.

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Specialists must become aware of the relevance of this topic and warn of the psychological and biological effects of being exposed in a traumatizing to infidelity, so that we can design strategies together with our patients, which allow us to face these situations more healthy.

Author: Dr Octavio Gascón - Medical specialist in mental health and cognitive psychotherapy.