And you, what would you say?

The other day, one of the people I work with, whom I invite to write because it's something she likes whenever she can, gave me this writing that I asked her to read to me. The writing, in his notebook of reflections, read as follows:

Regarding the unfathomability of the mind, there would be much to say, although less and less. The reason is that, sometimes, it becomes so immensely empty, dark, opaque and unfathomable, even swimming inside it. Less and less mystery. Sometimes it is shown as a room in the most absolute darkness, no presumed light is able to illuminate its interior and, without windows, the exterior does not exist. You walk step by step without seeing a cake; you write, like me now, without seeing, in the blackness that prevents you from seeing beyond the hole. Thoughts, as such, barely flow; It is the feelings, the most negative ones above all, that become your breath. It's not that you can't find a way out, it's that you "know" that such a thing doesn't exist and the thick blackness takes over your hours, your appetite, even your senses. Then you stop asking yourself questions, you turn off the flashlight whose focus is not capable of piercing the darkness and you try to merge with despair, to stop suffering from it and belong to it; and be one with her, in nothingness. Nothing exists anymore, no one exists anymore and there is no ground under your feet or stars in your sky.

Sometimes vertigo comes, maybe this is what helps you leave the dark room. To go, to go with the music, to go elsewhere, to nothing perhaps clearer (nothing) than the dark night in which you live. (F.J.)

It is enough to read these words to feel in some part of ourselves a certain resonance. Perhaps it is a more intense resonance, or even less intense; maybe it is more or less frequent in our day to day. Perhaps it has a greater or lesser associated sorrow.

Maybe Let's just connect with your deep pain, but we cannot put ourselves in his shoes and “suffer” like him, his suffering. However, either way, it's up to us. And we get excited.

And we want to help: we try to encourage, and we also want to understand "why" it is like this, what we can do to change it.

• Related article: "Empathy, much more than putting yourself in another's place"

It is not necessary to understand everything

There are situations, circumstances, emotions, that sometimes we cannot "understand" but still we feel them intensely. We cannot change from the outside what happens so internally in someone; the change has to come from within the person himself, through his own reflection. Touching the pain, looking at it head on.

I know, How difficult it is not to be able to do for the other! Do not, but let's remember that only accompanying sincerely relieves: without judgement, without pity, without words...

• You may be interested in: "Emotional management: 10 keys to master your emotions"

You... What would you say?

There are numerous situations where words fall short.. Those who experience something like this feel the same words empty and are just a way of "emotionally vomiting" what is no longer supported inside. And that, moreover, is fine: feeling overwhelmed, with no way out, sunken... A piece of paper can be easier, more comfortable, to "take it out of one" because the ink does not judge, does not claim, does not ask...

we have the right to also express emptiness, disappointment, hopelessness, without being judged. And when we find that someone by our side who actively listens to us, without wanting to change it, what we feel acquires a new meaning. Because I allow myself, because I feel accepted as a person and a human who feels and suffers.

What would happen if we broadened our perspective to "simply" be and feel with the other from where the other is?

• Related article: "Why is it beneficial to express emotions?"

Being there and accompanying is sometimes enough to minimize the perceived pain

Suicides are increasing in number: in Spain just over 4,000 people took their lives last year, that's 11 people a day on average! And in just the last year, suicides among children under 15 years of age have increased by almost 60%.

We can create more awareness of the importance of not only accepting where we are with our own pain, but - and at the same time- accept that of others, integrate it as part of our human nature and from there, be able to heal it.

Everything that hurts and is not expressed becomes chronic. Self-imposed silence depresses. Misunderstanding and social intolerance also kill.