How to validate the emotions of boys and girls?

Emotional education in boys and girls is essential for their proper development, so that they grow up healthy and with solid values ​​regarding how human relationships and people's feelings work.

emotional validation It is one of the most important elements in this regard. It is something that must be put into practice when raising our children and it will be essential learning in the future so that as adults they can successfully manage their emotions.

By practicing daily habits of emotional validation in raising both boys and girls, we will be able to communicate with them at a more complex and deep, training social skills such as empathy and emotional management, and accompanying them in the process of understanding themselves without judging themselves in ways dysfunctional.

• Related article: "The 6 keys to parenting"

What does it mean to validate an emotion?

Validating an emotion in both adults and children means legitimizing it from the beginning, accepting its validity, and not judge it a priori, regardless of whether it generates discomfort, well-being, or if it is neutral

. On the other hand, it also implies accepting that emotions and feelings are complex (for example, Sometimes we can experience how being happy in a certain way makes us feel guilty. situation). It is, in short, a key aspect when it comes to educating boys and girls in the process of becoming familiar with the nuances of their most emotional side.

By validating an emotion, we are making the other person understand that we understand what they are feeling and what it is. perfectly normal to feel it, and that we are not going to judge at any time those feelings that overwhelm you at a moment certain.

Validating the emotions of those around us allows us to communicate much better with them and is an exercise in empathy that will provide us, in the long run, the opportunity to establish deeper and more meaningful relationships.

In the field of children, validation is essential in their education, as previously mentioned, and constitutes learning and a training in empathy, since we are teaching the infant that people can put ourselves in another's place and validate their emotions.

• You may be interested in: "Emotional management: 10 keys to master your emotions"

How can we validate emotions in boys and girls?

These are the main tips, guidelines, and strategies that we can follow to validate emotions in boys and girls in the context of parenting at home.

1. Manage your own emotions and set an example

To validate our children's emotions, we must first learn to manage our own, since It is useless to try to teach another to control emotions and we lack that ability.

Put into practice self-control over the most intense emotions that overwhelm us, learn to control what we feel in at all times and being able to identify one's own emotions are some of the most basic abilities of intelligence emotional.

These skills can be learned through all kinds of courses or training, or they can be trained by a qualified psychology professional.

• Related article: "Children's therapy: what is it and what are its benefits"

2. Speak from a position of equality

To achieve effective and truthful communication, it is necessary to speak to the child from a position of equality so that he sees that our objective is to share with us what you feel; we do not want to scold or admonish you in any way.

To achieve this position of equality we can crouch down and talk with the boy or girl looking at the eyes, this way we will be able to reassure him and we will give him the opportunity to express himself with us on an equal basis. equal.

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3. Help you describe how you feel

Helping the child to describe what she feels is of great importance, especially in those little ones who have not yet fully developed language.

It is in these cases when we should help you identify little by little what you feel at all times: if he feels sad, angry or furious, interacting with him so that he explains what is happening to him at all times.

In the case of older boys and girls, it is important to let them express themselves freely and tell us exactly what they feel and how their emotions affect them.

4. Help him explain what he feels

Once we have identified what the child feels, it is important that we start a process of explaining what happens to him, trying to explain together why he feels that way, as long as he doesn't understand.

This section is important in younger children, since when we explain why they may feel a certain way determined, we are helping them to form a series of important social skills such as empathy and management emotional.

For example, if a child is angry because his brother is playing a video game console and starts breaking objects the house we should explore together the idea of ​​if he feels that way because he also wants to play and his brother doesn't leaves.

At the same time we can provide you with a series of tips or guidelines so that you can solve your problem and stop feeling that way, for example by telling him to play something else or to wait his turn game.

5. avoid any judgment

Validating emotions also means not judging at any time what the boy or girl may be feeling, since when we judge the way they feel we can make them feel that their feelings are unimportant or not valid.

If, for example, our son falls and hurts himself by playing irresponsibly, we must avoid any reproach or Negative judgment and not blame, but explain why she feels that way and what she should do next time to avoid a accident.

For a child to grow up healthy and with positive self-esteem we must avoid making any moral judgment about your emotions during the process of validating them.

6. Provide tools to manage your emotions

Like adults, children can also learn emotional management tools that we can teach them and gradually educate themselves.

Some strategies that can be put into practice are the channeling of emotions, relaxation techniques and offering other alternative options that can help the child overcome her negative emotion.

Explaining to the child that playtime is over and she needs to go take a shower, so she Let's make her understand that there are schedules for everything, we will help her to overcome her anger with greatest success.

• Related article: "7 easy relaxation techniques to combat stress"

7. respect above all

Respect is essential in any interpersonal relationship and educating children putting into practice a respectful modality will ensure that they grow up feeling wanted, loved and feeling that both they and their feelings matter.

A family environment where respect for the feelings of the other person prevails is important so that children grow up surrounded by affection and also so that they themselves learn to respect others others.

Are you looking for professional psychological assistance?

If you are interested in having psychotherapeutic assistance, please contact me.

My name is Carolina Marin, I am a psychologist federated by the FEAP, and I care for adolescents, adults and families, either in person in Seville or online by video call.