5 keys to face and overcome the injustices of life

Many of the complaints that psychologists address with people who come to the consultation refer to "how unfair it is that my partner has left me", the injustice of seeing how "the job has been for someone else and not for me", or to think that "there is no right for so-and-so to behave in that way with me".

Injustices: a painful reality with which we must live

They abound in our daily lives. this type of reflection that guides us to assess what happens to us in terms of justice, as if the personal fulfillment and happiness of each one of us could be measured in our perception of the fair and unfair events that happen to us. And it is that some of the most renowned authors in the world of Psychology (Albert Ellis, Wayne Dyer) explained to us some years ago how the so-called "justice trap" works and they already told us that it works as a cognitive distortion or, put another way, as an error of thought.

The call fallacy of justice consists in the tendency to value as unfair everything that does not coincide with personal desires

. Through this type of thinking we consider that everything that does not coincide with our way of seeing things is unfair.

Reframing our perception of injustices

And in that assessment of established injustice, many remain immobilized, gripped by frustration and resorting to the internal dialogue of complaint and negligence in which when one settles only one gets sadness, dejection…

At this point, it does not make much sense to change our way of seeing things, if I start from the basis that "it is not fair that this place is not mine with what I have studied" and we repeat it to ourselves in each failed call to pass my competitive exam, are we favoring a solution to our problem? Are we generating a constructive dialogue with ourselves and aimed at improving the aspects that are necessary to approve that exam? No! We're just complaining! And that complaint can fulfill its therapeutic function in the short term as an outlet, but when we normalize and install it, there is the problem…

5 strategies to face injustices

Studying an exam hard or behaving well with others cannot be the passport to be perceived as unfair not to obtain a position in the competitive examinations or a bad reaction from a friend. They are realities that simply happen and that we cannot have 100 percent under control..

What alternatives could we consider?

1. Differentiate what I want vs. what is unfair

Wanting something with all our might doesn't make it any more possible for you to have it. This reality would have certain implications for our internal dialogue, it would therefore be convenient to change the "it is an injustice" to "it is a pity" or by an “I would prefer it”.

2. Things can happen differently as we would like

Work with our unachieved goals as an excuse to improve and not to use them against us. If wanting something leads you to fight and work for that goal, complaining about the injustice of not achieving it and tormenting yourself about it takes you a long way from your goal.

3. Others have the right to present opinions different from mine

Why do we embark so many times on trying to change the opinions of others? It would be convenient for us to free ourselves from the yoke of the single thought and that we promote that everyone thinks what they want on any matter. He egocentrism it's not going to help us.

4. Choosing to act rather than observe and analyze

When we stop at the analysis of what is happening and do not get out of there we are blocking ourselves. Betting on action will lead us to choose what we want, if you need your partner to change something, ask them! If you want that position for oppositions, study and keep trying!

5. Stop looking for equity in our relationships with others

If I choose to behave well with someone and be generous I cannot repeatedly get frustrated when others do not act as I would like, when we look for that equitable distribution of "I give you" and "you must give me" we are losing our way. If I choose to be generous, I have to keep in mind that it is a personal choice, and that it is my responsibility to decide to change my attitude towards said person or to continue being the way I am.

Reflections and possible conclusions

Above all of the above, it should be noted that in order to get out of the slavery of perceived injustice we can only do so if we recover the leading role in our lives and we stop comparing ourselves all the time with others.

Taking into account the reality that surrounds us in which not even the judges themselves have a unique vision and objective analysis of what is fair and unfair. Why insist on wasting time imparting justice to our around?