The 7 most common fears, and how to overcome them

Fear is the emotion that most paralyzes us and limits our lives. Beyond this, other paralyzing and distressing emotions such as insecurity or anxiety states are also forms of fear. What does it lead us to live a life constantly conditioned by our fears?

• Related article: "The 8 types of emotions (classification and description)"

The impact of fear in our lives

Fears are the most common problems for people who want to experience real and profound changes in their lives, well whether in relation to their own well-being, personal or partner relationships, social difficulties or even at work or ventures. It is an elusive emotion, and it is very difficult to detect these fears, understand them, know their meaning (what really scares us) and above all overcome them. But the problem is not fear, but the way in which you understand and manage your fears.

Fear is a basic emotion and it is natural and necessary to feel it. As a psychological phenomenon, it protects us from many harmful factors. The problem is when we have created, almost always unconsciously, a multitude of fears towards situations that are not really dangerous and condition our lives. Fears of losing, of loneliness, of not feeling capable...

that fear it ends up transforming into anger, insecurities, arguments, discouragement, or above all into that usual paralysis when it comes to facing problems or going towards what we really want and makes us happy.

In the last 10 years, accompanying people in their change processes as a psychologist and coach, I have come to know and work with the most common fears. All of them can be summed up in the 7 great fears. Let's see what they are and how to start overcoming them; and, if you want to take that step, you can register for free in Get excited within empoderamientohumano.com, a first step to begin your process of change to understand and know manage your emotions

• You may be interested in: "Personal Development: 5 reasons for self-reflection"

The 7 most common fears

These are the 7 most common fears that arise naturally at some moments in life in many people:

1. Fear of not being able to and of failing

When it comes to challenges and projects, this fear is often a paralyzing force when it comes to doing what we really want. We live with the idea of ​​our inability or the possible consequences, and fear tends to paralyze us to avoid those consequences. But the truth is that we are never 100% prepared to face something new, and what we understand as failure is part of that learning process.

2. Fear to loneliness

The human being is never alone. We are social beings, and the quality or quantity of our relationships depends on our openness and trust. Paradoxically, when we are most suspicious is when we are most afraid of loneliness, and this leads us to isolate ourselves or, on the contrary, to trying to keep people (such as a partner) based on our fears and insecurities and through arguments or demands frequent.

3. Fear of death (own or of others)

Death is a natural process with which we live. Our society or way of life tends to isolate us from this process, which makes us even more afraid.

4. fear of losing control

The control we have over our lives is actually very small. We can make decisions, but at the same time we are affected and conditioned by many factors. This lack of confidence in life often makes us want to be in control of the uncontrollable. Not being possible, fear tends to reinforce itself. We want to control our children, our partner, our relationships, our objects and possessions, our status, etc.

5. fear of loss

Personal or material, it is another form of fear of losing control, but oriented to what we lose, which implies that we live with the belief that we possess something or someone.

6. I'm afraid that everything will stay the same

When we don't like our situation, we are afraid that it will continue like this. This causes fear to be validated with the simple passage of time, and we see everything more and more black. In turn, this fear has something positive: it helps you commit to your own personal change.

7. Fear of losing security

We tend to believe that living safely is the key to being happy. However, life is pure insecurity. We do not know what is going to happen at any moment, and the way in which we face that surprise conditions our life.

The fear of losing security makes us seek it so hard that we always feel dissatisfaction, frustration, anxiety, and therefore even more fear.

Personal development improving the relationship with one's own fears

Where do these fears lead you? What are you losing as a result of having them? How would your life be different if you learned to understand and manage them so that they do not condition your life? And above all, how to overcome them?

Actually, fear is necessary and it is not possible to leave them behind forever. The key is to have a functional relationship with your fears, in such a way that they warn you about what is really dangerous or not and to know understand and manage them in a functional way (that is really useful to you and leads you towards the well-being and improvement of your relationships or life professional).

This is not something that is achieved simply by informing us about the objective risks (estimated according to the probability) of what we fear happening. The fact of having data does not have to translate into a change in our way of relating to our emotions.

This is what you get if you live a process of change, in the course of which that personal transformation stays with you forever, since you have learned mainly about yourself. This form of learning has a theoretical part, but above all a practical part based on new experiences. Without these, personal development is meaningless; and that is precisely what the "training" sessions with which we psychology professionals work.