The 10 problems of Highly Sensitive People when making friends

Surely you have ever met someone who is especially affected by the events they experience daily, living each sensation or emotion experienced very intensely.

It can also happen that you have that special sensitivity yourself and experience intense emotions that are different from the rest when you relate to your environment and apparently unimportant events happen, but they affect you a lot at a level staff.

This phenomenon is characteristic of what in Psychology is known as High Sensitivity and people who present this characteristic experience experiences, situations, conversations or external stimuli in general in a much more intense way than the rest. This has implications in all aspects of life, including social relationships; Therefore, in this article we will see common problems Highly Sensitive People face when trying to make friends, without forgetting that this phenomenon is not only disadvantageous when connecting with others.

What problems do Highly Sensitive People have when making friends?

The High Sensitivity has its origin in the development of a central nervous system that the greater priority to neural networks linked to the processing of emotions associated with stimuli. For this reason, Highly Sensitive People perceive in greater detail the subtle nuances of the stimuli in their environment, which which makes them be more attentive to what is happening around them and see inputs more clearly that would pass to others unnoticed.

Highly Sensitive People tend to experience situations of discomfort and anxiety when they socialize with other people, and may present a series of difficulties to make new friends due to their tendency to experience situations that overwhelm them emotionally. Let's see how this happens.

1. difficulty fitting in

One of the main characteristics of Highly Sensitive People (PAS) is Difficulty fitting into a wide variety of different environments and social contexts, due to the great impact that emotions have on their mental health.

Those who present this characteristic may experience feelings of anguish, overwhelm, discomfort or restlessness in social situations, something that can sometimes be hidden to fit in and so that no one thinks badly from them.

PAS profiles tend to see the world differently from the rest, giving too much importance to details and subtleties than for the rest of people would go unnoticed (such as a look, a certain comment, a criticism, a gesture or a message of WhatsApp).

The large amount of information that Highly Sensitive People receive, as well as the fact of being overwhelmed by emotions negative or real or imagined stimuli, often makes them feel that they do not fit into certain circles, which in the long run It makes them avoiding all social interaction for a while.

• Related article: "What is the importance of having friends?"

2. Lack of confidence in themselves

Feeling uncomfortable in social situations, confused, strange or unable to relate properly is is generally due to a lack of self-confidence, which in turn is caused by a low self-esteem.

Many People with High Sensitivity show low levels of self-esteem due to their problems fitting in and their difficulty making new friends or establishing normal relationships.

Their situation is like a fish that bites its tail in which low self-esteem is fed by the negative experiences they experience and vice versa.

3. tend to compare

The tendency to compare themselves with other friends or people around them also contributes to magnifying the discomfort felt by HSPs.

The comparison is based on the need to trying not to let their emotions affect them so much and to behave in the same way as friends do and the people with whom these people interact.

• You may be interested in: "What is Personality according to Psychology?"

4. Tendency to dichotomous thinking

Highly Sensitive People have a greater tendency to dichotomous thinking, that is, to value everything from extremes. For this reason, they fall into exaggerated pessimism dynamics more easily.

The tendency to negativity is typical of low self-esteem and recurring and catastrophic thoughts who visualize a failure when relating to other people due to their own characteristics emotional.

That's why PAS profiles often face social interactions without any hope, prophesying a failure that can most likely occur due to said negative disposition and without seeing anything positive.

5. Isolation as usual mechanism

As we have indicated, social interaction is often so draining and emotionally eroding for HSPs that they often end up isolating themselves for a while from all social contact.

This is a mechanism that is put into practice so as not to suffer and to be able to rest after having carried out an intense social interaction.

• Related article: "The Lonely Kinds"

6. Shyness

Shyness is also usually a consequence of low self-esteem and the belief that one will not fit in with anyone or in any social group.

This shyness also makes meeting new people very difficult., so that the person becomes more and more closed in on himself.

7. difficulty trusting

The belief that others are using them because of their high level of empathy is common in many highly sensitive people.

Likewise, many of them may also feel judged or believe that their friends do not support them or hate them, which is why it is difficult for them to trust other people and even more so with new friends.

8. excessive empathy

Excessive empathy is another fundamental characteristic in Highly Sensitive People, something that makes them feel intensely any emotion that another person in their environment may experience.

This undoubtedly makes it possible for many people to take advantage of them and their ability to understand the suffering and needs of others.

9. Difficulty setting limits

The need to be liked by others and to be perceived as one of the others makes HSPs have serious difficulties in setting limits and being assertive.

This is also due to the fact that it is difficult for them to say no, precisely because of their inability to bother or offend others.

10. Difficulties coping with new experiences

With everything said above, we can identify one last characteristic of the PAS and that is Difficulty coping with new experiences and getting out of your comfort zone in your social life.

Basic characteristics of this type of personality such as low self-esteem, shyness or lack of confidence they make it very difficult for them to face new challenges and meeting other people is undoubtedly a great challenge for them.

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My name is Desiree InfanteI am a psychologist and neuropsychologist, and I attend in person and online.