Love and responsibility as principles to live better

Did you know that the most difficult words to pronounce are "I love you", "I'm sorry" and "help me"?

Saying "I love you" is expressing passion for life and for each other. "Forgiveness" is a conscious act of humility to be able to forgive you. Pronouncing the word "help me" translates lucidity of spirit, of mind and evidences the notion that alone we are insignificant and we achieve nothing. It is in the most vulnerable moments of our existence that we must have the courage to honestly ask for help.

You can't live without breathing, you can't live without loving either.. The power and meaning of love go far beyond any knowledge or philosophy.

• Related article: "The 4 types of love: what different kinds of love are there?"

Live with love always present and you will have a fulfilling life

True love is inexhaustible and cannot be explained with words. Why is it so hard for me to have self love? Why does the opinion of the girlfriend, the parents, the colleagues have such an overwhelming impact on me? How can I protect myself against the attacks of those who, for a reason unknown to me, make me fall?

The only way to defend ourselves from outside attacks is to find love within., so that it is reflected outwards. It is impossible to transmit love without loving each other first and foremost. Although it is one of the most difficult words to pronounce, it is also one of those that we cannot stop pronouncing.

• You may be interested in: "Emotional fatigue: strategies to face and overcome it"

Tired of being tired

Shortly before starting the therapeutic group in the afternoon, I observed that, on the porch, sheltered from a drizzle that marked the water of the existing swimming pool in one of the hospitalization units, three patients were preparing to participate in a mini-group where they commented experiences.

When admiring from afar those three human beings, who had not met until a short time ago, and when observing the completely disinterested with which they helped each other, I felt that this type of union could be one of the best ways to represent, symbolically, the feeling of love

I got a little closer and observed that one of them. At that time, he had only been with us for a little over a week. He cried compulsively, as if releasing tons of accumulated pain, sadness, anguish, and suffering.

That 36-year-old man was in those moments completely vulnerable, pure and authentic, demonstrating by his painful words, being "sick of being sick", of suffering and "sick of being tired", of having the kind of life he had, before being hospitalized.

When I asked him what was going on, he told me:

• "Doctor, I know that due to the type of life I led, I have hurt the people I love the most. Now I'm feeling a huge guilt that I don't know how to deal with. My parents are completely devastated. I don't know what to do. I'm lost... How can I forgive myself for the suffering I have caused them?"

Seeing the desperate state he was in and knowing that this moment could be crucial for his therapeutic process, I replied:

• "Patience... much patience. Don't be in a hurry to solve all your problems at once. By sharing your feelings, as you have done now, you are now ready to do your best and begin to process all the emotions that, because they were very painful for you, you locked up and buried alive inside of you. Keep sharing and asking for help. In time, you will forgive yourself, you will free yourself from the pain of your past... And after a while you'll like it again."

Hearing my words, he gave me an uncertain look and asked:

• "Do you think that's going to happen?"

I answered:

• "Believe! You are going to be able... I believe in you".

At that moment, feeling that I placed my trust in him and that I believed that he would put all his efforts to make the treatment a success, immediate relief was visible on his face. Shortly after and following my suggestion, he opened the therapeutic group, giving continuity to his experience.

Due to the existing love in the mutual help process and the liberating force of sharing, which she continued to maintain throughout her treatment, this young-adult saw his self-respect reborn. He gradually freed himself from the negative weight that he carried inside himself and, shortly after, he understood that he would have to forgive himself. in order to let go of the weight of your past and be able to continue on the path towards a better, lighter and more happy.

This was one of the many cases with which I cooperated, in which it is possible to observe how the emotional charge of our past experiences can completely block the motivation to live in the present, or even prevent us from considering that a future may exist for us.

What is Responsibility?

In previous articles we saw a series of principles to live better.

With the first principle you learned to live in truth with yourself, with others and with the world. In the second principle, you gained awareness that it is only possible to overcome a problem, regardless of its nature, when you accept that you have it.

You also know that much more than living happy or satisfied, you can live guided by the third principle, that of gratitude. if you did you will have a full, more valuable, enriching, stimulating and passionate life experience. Your personal development reaches its maximum point when you can live in a state of virtue or happiness by feeling complete by the fourth principle, that of love.

However, we need to incorporate one more principle so that we can develop balance in feelings and thoughts. I refer to the principle of responsibility.

It is important to mention that all of us are born without understanding the importance or meaning of responsibility.

Frequently, we use justifications, excuses, manipulate and victimize, instead of assuming our actions. From childhood we tend to blame others for all the evil that happens to us. Perhaps some of us are not yet ready to take charge of their lives. Not all people want to change and grow.

Acquiring maturity requires assuming responsibilities, and true leaders love new challenges. If you want to be an admired and responsible individual, stop pitying yourself. Enough! You already suffered too much. Do not think that there is a universal conspiracy for you to always fail, or for you to feel ashamed, unhappy.

the little bird

In a city there was a man who was considered by all the people as a great sage. Many people came from afar to ask him questions.

A child wanted to put the wise man to the test, posing a question with a very difficult answer.. And he planned to appear before the sage carrying a small bird hidden in his hand. "What do I have hidden in my hand?", the little one would inquire. "If he says that a bird, I will insist: is he dead or alive?" I planned. "If the sage answers that he is alive, I will crush him and kill him at that moment. If he says that he is dead, the answer will be wrong, "meditated the boy, believing that he was in the perfect plan. He went to a nest to look for a little bird, he met the wise man and asked him:

"What do I have in my hand?" The wise man thought and said: - A little bird. -TRUE. But is he alive or dead? The wise man thought again and replied: - It depends on you. If you squeeze it, it's dead. If you open your hand, he's alive. It depends on you.

It is up to us to choose life or death, love or fear, the truth or a lie, for sadness or for joy, for ingratitude or for gratitude, for responsibility or for irresponsibility. It depends on you.