Why do I have to go to the psychologist if I am unfaithful?

Many times it is taken for granted that infidelity is a "mistake"; as if it were the result of a bad decision, something that occurs after an ill-advised calculation of the advantages and disadvantages of breaking the engagement. But the truth is that both the causes and the consequences of being unfaithful go beyond the intellectual; it has to do with our way of experiencing emotions.

Therefore, in this article we will see what they are The benefits of going to psychotherapy after having generated a couple crisis due to infidelity.

• Related article: "The 9 types of infidelity and their characteristics"

When is infidelity a reason to go to psychotherapy?

Not in all cases it is necessary to attend psychotherapy after having committed an infidelity; For example, if this occurs occasionally in the context of a toxic couple relationship in which trust has been broken for a long time by both parties, this kind of behaviors can simply be a way to put an end to it, and in these cases, if we do not feel psychological sequelae, it is possible to turn the page directly. But in many other cases, it is advisable to have psychological support.

These are the main focuses of intervention of psychological therapy applied to people who have committed an infidelity.

1. If you are looking to give a resolution to the couple crisis

Obviously, if the infidelity is known by both members of the couple and they have decided to give the relationship another chance, couples therapy is the ideal context in which to reconstruct that link.

With the help of the psychologist it is possible to talk about this problem in a constructive way, without falling into a loop of arguments that contribute nothing and are based on blame, and repair the trust damaged by the infidelity.

• You may be interested in: "The 5 types of couples therapy"

2. To address impulsiveness issues

Sometimes, infidelity is mainly explained by a problem of excessive impulsiveness, difficulties to manage the impulses thinking in the medium and long term (which includes commitments with third parties), with or without drug use involved. In both cases It is important to go to psychotherapy to learn techniques for managing emotions and stress.

On the other hand, if impulsiveness is linked to antisocial character traits, it is even more important to go through a Psychological treatment to learn to "connect" with society and the dynamics of collaboration and mutual trust.

• Related article: "What is impulsiveness? Its causes and effects on behavior"

3. As a way to enhance self-awareness

Despite the fact that culturally we tend to associate infidelity with concepts such as "licentiousness", the truth is that in many Sometimes it is nothing more than the reflection of a deep malaise that has nothing to do with the desire to have a good time, but with the desire to escape from the emptiness that the person feels.

For this reason, psychotherapy provides ways to advance in a process of self-knowledge that helps to understand what has triggered the infidelity regardless of whether the relationship continues to exist or if it has ended in a breakup, given that the discomfort that is largely the cause of what happened is often prior to and is relatively separate from that courtship or marriage.

Only in this way can the tendency to behave erratically in life due to lack of direction be addressed, both in life private as in relationships, and provide a series of routines capable of keeping the person connected to what they really like and enjoy. interested.

• You may be interested in: "Self-knowledge: definition and 8 tips to improve it"

4. As a support from which to rebuild self-esteem

In the sense of the previous section, infidelity is not usually an experience that simply provides sensory and short-term pleasure; often generates a great wear on self-esteemAlthough it is common for the person who has been unfaithful not to realize it from the beginning. And it is that although some may consider cheating on their partners, cheating on oneself is almost impossible, and the clash between the action of committing infidelity and the personal values ​​associated with what is understood by love and life as a couple tend to become notice.

For this reason, psychotherapy proposes a series of strategies and activities to regenerate self-esteem, which includes both learning to constructively interpret the past and present of those who go to the psychologist, how to set goals and projects for the future interesting and exciting, capable of serving to demonstrate to oneself to what extent one can be trustworthy and positive for others. the rest.

• Related article: "Do you really know what self-esteem is?"

Do you want psychotherapeutic support?

If you are looking for psychology services in the field of couples therapy or psychotherapy focused on the individual patient, I invite you to contact me.

My name is javier ares and I am a psychologist specializing in problems of mood, anxiety and couple crises; I serve adults and adolescents from the principles of the cognitive-behavioral model combined with relaxation techniques and Mindfulness. Sessions can be face-to-face or online via video call.