The 9 best emotional self-control techniques for children

What is emotional self-control in children? In this article we will talk about this issue and, in addition, we will provide you with a total of 9 techniques of Emotional self-control for children, that you can apply with them whether you are a professional or a parent or mother.

These techniques are focused on teaching the little ones to understand and manage their emotions, in order to to emit a more adaptive behavior in this regard (especially in the face of negative emotions such as anger or anger). frustration).

As you will see, most of them are focused on promoting relaxation in overactivated states such as those that appear in tantrums or anger.

• Related article: "What is emotional intelligence?"

Emotional self-control in childhood: 9 recommendations

Before exposing some of the main emotional self-control techniques for children, let's see what emotional self-control consists of.

Emotional self-control is the ability to manage emotions in the face of certain events that affect us (especially in a negative way). Through this management, it is also possible to control the physiological activation of the organism.

This capacity is acquired over the years; When they are young, children can show difficulties in managing their emotions, due to their immaturity, lack of experience, insufficient language development... Getting angry, trying new things, asking, doubting... all this is part of their learning, and It constitutes a normal and necessary phase for their psycho-affective development..

However, we can also help them in this phase of self-knowledge, which at the same time implies the construction of their own identity and the configuration of their autonomy. How can we do it? Through different techniques of emotional self-control for children.

Emotional self-control techniques for children

In this article we will see different emotional self-control techniques for children, which can be adapted to developmental and chronological age of the child, as well as his characteristics, interests and needs. Without further ado, let's meet them:

1. calm pie

The first of the emotional self-control techniques for children that you can apply is the cake of calm.

This technique consists of drawing a round on a piece of paper (which will be the cake), and dividing it into different pieces. inside each piece We will write a "trick" or mechanism to calm down when we are excessively nervous.

Examples of "tricks" that we can use are: take a deep breath, count to ten, imagine a pleasant scene, etc. The grace of this technique is to collaborate together, and in this way to search, together with the child, for different strategies (we can do an initial brainstorming).

• You may be interested in: "The 6 stages of childhood (physical and mental development)"

2. The balloon

The second recommended technique is the balloon (or “being a balloon”) technique. It is about imagining, when we get angry, nervous or irritated, that We are a balloon that gradually swells.

Once inflated, we will imagine that we are flying high and that we are relaxing. We can use a real balloon to exemplify the technique and make it more visual and understandable for the child.

3. The volcano

The volcano is another of the emotional self-control techniques for children. Said technique It is ideal for explaining what the emotion of anger consists of. Through this technique, we explain to the boy or girl that we are like a volcano; when we are still and calm, the lava remains within us. On the other hand, when we get angry, we erupt (the lava comes out with force, at full speed).

If you want the child to better understand this metaphor through a live experiment, you can find such an experiment in this video:

4. The traffic light

Another of the most used emotional self-control techniques for children is the traffic light. This consists of teaching children to calm down in situations that cause them anger or frustration. Through it, a parallel is made with the operation of a traffic light. It consists of three steps (the three colors of the traffic light).

How can we carry out this technique? Through a drawing of the traffic light, made by the child, where he will place (right next to) the instructions that we propose below (and that we will apply when we are angry or nervous):

In the first step, when we are in red, we must stop (as a vehicle would do at a red traffic light); when we turn to yellow, we must think about what is happening to us "inside" and look for possible alternatives for action; finally, in the color green, we will calm down and act rationally.

5. stress ball

This technique consists of creating, together with the child (or he, autonomously), an "anti-stress ball" to squeezing or pressing when nervous, angry, frustrated, or angry. An easy way to do it is with a deflated balloon, filling it with rice, lentils or chickpeas.

6. calm space

Another of the possible emotional self-control techniques for children, in this case, which can be used at home, is the creation of a calm and “relax” space for him. When you go to this space, in moments of over-activation or anger, the objective will be to relax and enter a state of calm and peace.

The place can be chosen by the child, together with her parents; It can be an area of ​​the room, a storage room, a part of the dining room... it all depends on each family.

Recommended ideas to make this space a quiet and cozy place are: add some speakers (to play relaxing music), place stuffed animals or objects that the child likes, soft cushions to relax, drawings or pictures that inspire calm, aromatic products, etc

7. Sandbox

We can also resort to the stimulation of the senses, precisely to produce the opposite effect: relaxation in moments of hyperarousal. We can do it through sensory stimuli such as sand.

A technique that we propose, this time more traditional, is the creation, together with the child (or, we repeat, that he creates it autonomously, to his liking), a box full of sand, where he can also place toys. When you are nervous you can stir the sand, close your eyes and dip your fingers into it, etc., in order to relax and connect with the sense of touch.

8. Listen to mantras (or music)

They already say that “music tames beasts”. Thus, music can also be part of emotional self-control techniques for children. In this case, we suggest the use of mantras.

When we pronounce them (and with practice), our brain is able to calm down. These can be words or short phrases that the child repeats when he is nervous or calm, with appropriate background music. On the other hand, we can also use relaxing songs, without the use of mantras.

9. Blow bubbles

This technique uses breath control to get the feeling of relaxation in the body, and involves imagining blowing bubbles. For it, it is necessary to control breathing; we must blow gently so that the bubbles are created.

This technique, once learned, can be used by children alone (especially when they are small), or we can also accompany them during practice, pretending that it is a game.

Bibliographic references:

• Ahmed, M.D. (2010). Relaxation activities in Infant and Primary Education. Innovation and educational experiences
• Baena, G. (2005). How to develop children's emotional intelligence. Mexico DF: Trillas.
• Olego, E. (s.f.). Self-control techniques for children. Blog of the Center for Psychology and Speech Therapy: El Teu Espai.