Tips to improve communication between parents and children
Knowing how to listen and speak is the key to any healthy relationship., also between your children and you. But being a parent is hard work and maintaining good communication with your children, especially at the time of adolescenceIt can be quite a challenge.
An added difficulty is that parents have to reconcile their work lives with family time, which means that most of the time they cannot dedicate all the time they would like to take care of the relationship they have with their children. In today's article We explain a series of tips based on mutual respect that will help make communication between you and your children more fluid and beneficial for both.
1. Be accessible to your children
- Find out when your kids are most willing to talk —for example, at bedtime, before eating, in the car…— and try to be receptive; They have to know that you want to hear them.
- start the conversation; This allows your children to realize that you are interested in what is happening in their lives. It is important to start it by sharing your own ideas with them rather than starting with questions, as these can be seen as interrogation and make them close more.
- Try to find a space each week to do an activity with each child separately, and avoid scheduling other tasks during that time. Sharing time with them individually will make them feel special and important to you, and it will make it easier for you to communicate.
- Learn about their interests and likes —for example, your favorite music group, your hobbies…— and shows interest in it. Your children will positively appreciate that you take their preferences into account. Also, if you have any hobby in common you can share time doing it together.
2. Let your children know that you are listening.
- When your kids are talking about something important to them, drop everything you're doing and just listen.. If they see you busy or disinterested, they will surely let it go and will not turn to you again in a similar case.
- Express interest in what they are explaining to you, avoiding being too intrusive. They must feel that the interest you show is real and not something feigned to get information from them.
- Listen to their point of view, even if you find it hard to understand or don't quite share it. Each person has a different way of thinking, including your children, and that does not mean that it is not just as valid as yours.
- Let them finish speaking before answering.. Don't cut them off in the middle of an explanation, nobody likes to be interrupted while they're talking.
- Repeat what you just heard to make sure you understood it correctly. Communication is not always clear and easy, and many of the arguments between parents and children are generated by misunderstandings in the conversations.
3. Respond so that your children will listen to you
- Smooth out overreactions; your children will stop paying attention to you if you seem angry or defensive. Even if it's hard to come by at times, try to stay calm and speak to them in a neutral tone. Improving communication with children also implies creating a favorable context for dialogue.
- Avoid discussing who is right. If each only thinks that he himself is right, neither will tend to listen to the other's reasons and a consensus cannot be reached. Instead say, "I know you don't agree with me, but that's what I think." Express your opinion without belittling your children's; accept that there is nothing wrong with disagreeing on something.
- Focus on your children's feelings instead of yourself during the conversation. Sometimes it can be difficult for them to express what they feel and they need you to be empathetic with them, to put yourself in their shoes and understand them.
Final tips to improve communication with children
Lastly, some Tricks to improve and encourage communication between parents and children:
1. Ask your children what they want or need from you in a conversation: advice, just listen to them, help them deal with their feelings or help them solve a problem.
2. Children learn by imitation. Often they will follow your steps in how you manage anger and anger, how you solve problems and how you deal with difficult situations and feelings. Try to be the best version of yourself for them, become a role model in the face of difficulties.
3. just talk to your kids; do not give them a monologue, do not criticize, threaten or say hurtful things to them.
4. Children learn from their own decisions. Unless their actions could have dangerous consequences, don't feel like you always have to intervene.
5. Keep in mind that your children can test you by telling you only a small part of what worries them. Listen carefully and encourage them to continue talking so that they finish explaining the rest of the story.
6. When giving information, look for it to be in a positive way. It is also important to give consistent messages, avoid contradictions and express yourself clearly when asking for something, to avoid possible confusion that could end in conflicts.
7. Always try to obey the rule that "everything that is said, comes true", or what is the same, not promise in vain; It is important to keep the promises that are made to the children, otherwise it could affect the trust that they place in you. For the same reason, one should also avoid lies.
8. Whenever possible, ask your children's opinions on issues that affect the family. This will make them feel that they are part of the family unit and that their point of view is important to you.