Personal dissatisfaction: why does it arise and how to overcome this feeling?

Throughout our lives it is natural to feel dissatisfaction, whether in relation to our personal, sentimental or professional life. However, when this dissatisfaction lasts too long it ends up creating discomfort, limits your life and you feel more and more difficulty in your relationships or with yourself. Why do you feel dissatisfied or dissatisfied? How to overcome that feeling?

In principle, this emotion, state of mind and also interpretation of what is happening is not entirely negative. Dissatisfaction is part of our lives and helps us discover what we need to change in our lives; but... Is that change really something you want or what you are afraid to face? Dissatisfaction helps you achieve the specific changes you need, but if that dissatisfaction ends up being constant, the problem is another.

• Related article: "Emotional psychology: main theories of emotion"

The dissatisfaction that does not help

When you don't feel satisfied with some aspect of your life, that implies that you are making a negative assessment of what happens

and you focus on what you would really like to have, live or experience. This means disconnecting from what is really happening and focusing on a series of alternatives that are not really happening, which creates even more frustration and dissatisfaction.

Of course, you can improve your life in any aspect, and that is something that comes with different actions and with consistency. Dissatisfaction, in principle, is a emotion that helps you achieve those changes (dissatisfaction is actually the beginning of a process of personal change; you want to change because you already got tired of what happens). The problem is when that dissatisfaction is not in what you do... but in what happens around you (your context, partner, people, situation, colleagues, work, etc.)

Here I explain what this dissatisfaction really consists of and how to overcome it in a video. If you want, you can press play to see it, although I will continue with the article below.

When your dissatisfaction is related to external factors, such as the behavior of others, their characteristics, the context, the situations, etc., we have a different problem. Because? simply because You cannot control what happens around you or the people with whom you interact or live, in a more intimate or superficial way.

Dissatisfaction is an unpleasant emotional state, close to anger and frustration, that comes from making an assessment of yourself (what you think you need and deserve in relation to the other) and the environment or others based on a comparison: there can always be "more and further". But the comparison is absurd. Everything else leads you to another one, and so on indefinitely. This is how dissatisfaction ends up being a habitual state in your life: You always see reasons to feel that emotion and you end up valuing your reality in a negative way.

What is it that makes you never feel satisfied or satisfied? Focus on the outside world and value it as the source of your well-being. The outside world is something you cannot control, therefore having expectations or trying to control it will always lead to frustration, anxiety, and lack of personal satisfaction.

How to solve it

Dissatisfaction is a point of view, but above all an unpleasant feeling and emotional state; therefore, the solution lies in learning to understand and manage not only that emotion, but all related emotions (dissatisfaction, insecurity, frustration, fear, etc.). All the assessments you make come from emotions that anchor you to that way of feeling, interpreting what is happening and living.

Dissatisfaction is usually related to insecurity (which is why you value based on comparisons or, on the contrary, you want to achieve personal changes but you don't finish going to the action). Your emotions are with you every second of the day. We are social beings and above all emotional. Being always excited, emotion not only influences your mood, but every decision you make, in your actions, in your way of interpreting and assessing what happens, to yourself and to others.

At empoderamientohumano.com I usually make a special proposal to achieve this important and far-reaching change in life: it is about taking the first step to get to know yourself better and discover what is happening and how to solve it through a process of change staff. You can do it with a free first exploratory session or with the Get Excited program, where you will find resources to take that first step.

Working with you will be the biggest turning point of your life, since it is the only thing you can manage and know. You can't control the world, just accept it and learn to look at it with openness. Fear and insecurity are emotions that make you focus only on what you fear or don't like. From your change, everything else will change, as your focus and gaze will change.