How is the psychological treatment of emotional dependence?

Emotional dependence is behind many affective problems both with others and with oneself. That is why this is behind a good part of the forms of discomfort on which we intervene. psychologists when working in the context of psychotherapy for individual patients and in therapy of couple.

If you want to know what they are the main strategies used to intervene in the psychological treatment of emotional dependence, keep reading.

What is emotional dependency?

In the field of personal relationships, emotional dependence is understood from Psychology as a form of relationship between two or more people in which a dynamic of sentimental subordination and fear of rejection is created, Way that an asymmetry is created in which one party tends to obey and to seek the other's approval in virtually all contexts, while the other person takes important decisions and has the ability to psychologically manipulate the one who adopts a role of obedience. It occurs in couple, friendship, and family relationships.

These kinds of interactions can go on this way for months or even years, and cause the relationship to deteriorate by the way in which the individuals involved reinforce this type of behavior, delving more and more into the difference in roles; the person who remains in a subordinate position feels that they can lose the other at any moment and will never sacrifice enough for it. ensure that the bond remains strong, and the other has constant incentives to continue to organize and direct the behavior of the other former.

On the other hand, it is very common for those who have experienced emotional dependency to tend to continue developing this form of relationships with more people in the future, either within the framework of a friendship or in a relationship of couple. Fortunately, these kinds of problems can be overcome in psychotherapy, as we will see.

• Related article: "The 7 Main Types of Toxic Relationships"

Psychotherapeutic treatment of emotional dependence

These are the main strategies and therapeutic resources most used when treating emotional dependence in psychotherapy processes.

1. cognitive restructuring

One of the characteristics of emotional dependence is that greatly affects the belief system from which the affected person usually behaves, so that the latter has a very distorted vision of herself and the unequal relationship she is maintaining. In other words, it is partly the emotionally dependent person who self-sabotages by submitting to more pressure than is recommended and judging himself in a very severe way.

To get out of this vicious circle of self-criticism that is harmful to oneself, one must detect the most problematic beliefs and replace them with others that are more realistic, and for this it is very useful the cognitive restructuring, a set of strategies that are the basis of cognitive-behavioral therapy. In this part of psychotherapy, the psychologist guides the patient through a series of questions that make you rethink what you think you know and to what extent it is positive or negative to maintain certain beliefs.

2. Management of anxiety and distress

Both anxiety and the more abstract feeling of anguish are types of discomfort that often lead the emotionally dependent person to try relieve that tension by doing everything possible not to feel abandoned and, therefore, sacrificing yourself for the relationship you are maintaining in a way asymmetric. This is a way of attributing to a specific and easily traceable cause the psychological problems linked to fear and personal insecurities, although the trigger does not really have to be limited to that relationship.

For this reason, another aspect of the treatment of emotional dependence consists of applying an anxiety management program that allows the person to identify the emotions and feelings linked to it, the situations that "activate" that state of mind, and the best ways to channel that discomfort by applying strategies that really constructive.

Additionally, dealing with unfair relationship dynamics can be intimidating, and keeping that fear under control is a challenge that should be worked on in therapy. For this, controlled exposure and the systematic desensitization.

3. assertiveness training

learn to be a assertive person it is necessary to make relations equitable and fair to both parties. However, those who suffer from emotional dependency often have problems expressing her emotions, desires and interests, prioritizing the other's point of view. To avoid this, psychotherapy works to get the patient to dare to say what he thinks, reaching a balance between respect for others and respect for oneself.

4. Detection of dependency situations

Knowing how to immediately recognize communicative exchanges or thoughts linked to emotional dependence is another key to overcoming this problem. For this, we work on self-knowledge techniques, using as a base the realization of a personal diary that must be kept updated and that it will provide material for psychotherapy, since it helps to remember experiences relevant.

• Related article: "What is emotional dependency, and how to overcome it?"

5. Resolution of past conflicts

Many times, to overcome emotional dependence in psychotherapy it is necessary to address past conflicts that continue to damage a family or couple relationship. That's why, sometimes the combination of individual therapy, on the one hand, with couples therapy or family therapy, on the other, is recommended.

Are you looking for professional psychological assistance?

If you are interested in starting a process of individualized therapy or couples therapy, please contact us.

In Cribecca Psychology We work serving people of all ages, and we offer the option of holding online sessions as well as face-to-face sessions.