More acknowledge and less criticize

We know that science tells us that valuing the positive in others has the consequence of improving mood and increasing motivation. However, criticism comes more easily than recognition. It is inherent to the human being; in fact, we can say that we are predisposed to focus our attention more on the negative than on the positive.

Our brain gives much more importance and value to the negative than to the positive. It is a good survival machine, and for this reason it detects very well the bad that can happen to me in the future, easily remembering the negative that happened.

Studies indicate that to compensate for one negative criticism that we make of a person, we would have to make five acknowledgments of something positive. The negative "weighs" in importance five times more than the positive for our mind.

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The propensity for negative criticism

In our vocabulary there are more words for the negative than for the positive. James R Averill, a professor of psychology at the University of Massachusetts, finds 558 words that describe emotions, of which 62% are negative and 38% are positive.

On the other hand, it takes us twenty times longer to memorize the positive than the negative. We have the perception that it is more intelligent to point out the negative than the positive.

However, being recognized for what is good generates well-being, even more for the one who exercises it than for the one who receives it. Thus, in an experiment carried out by psychologists Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough, they demonstrated that people who were grateful ended up happier, more optimistic about the future, with better physical health and even did more sport.

For this reason, Amstel suggested that I collaborate as a psychologist in a study on Recognition in Spain. The study was carried out by the social and market research company, MyWord. 1650 online interviews were carried out in January 2018 with the Spanish population of legal age.

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Study data

Among the conclusions we reached, the following stand out.

Only half (50.3%) of Spaniards believe they deserve recognition

Our lack of recognition habit It is so significant that it is even very difficult for us to recognize our own abilities, our effort and what we are capable of doing.

84.5% believe that envy is a very human passion but too Spanish

Surveys have shown that we do not practice the habit of recognizing. However, 84.5% of those surveyed believe, as Menéndez Pidal said, that "Envy is a very human passion but too Spanish".

40.9% think that envy is the cardinal sin that most characterizes us

Envy is the second most indicated reason, after lack of habit, to explain the lack of recognition: it is chosen by 67.9% of those interviewed.

The world of work is where we feel least recognized

In the workplace, the following results stand out.

83.3% of the population feel that their bosses do not value a job well done

Thus, eight out of ten think that the Spanish they don't feel recognized at work. Women and people between the ages of 25 and 54 are the ones who most identify with this lack of recognition.

More than 80% believe that the works highlight errors more than successes

Among women this way of feeling is even more significant.

In meetings it is normal to "hit the boss" (61.5% do it) and criticize a colleague (52.6%)

Statistically, It is a habit more frequent in women.

60.5% believe that it is difficult for us to congratulate a boss or colleague

Men and the elderly adhere more to this opinion.

In the family sphere...

In this sphere of our lives it is not too common to congratulate.

67.7% believe that it is difficult for us to be grateful to our mothers

Young people share this opinion the most..

61.2% believe that couples do not recognize how important they are to each other

Men and the elderly think so to a greater extent.

63.6% believe that grandparents are not sufficiently recognized

It is not valued and recognized time spent by grandparents with their grandchildren.

In social networks, the complaint to recognition predominates.

Other striking data that is extracted from the analysis carried out on more than 100,000 comments on networks, are the following.

Only in 22% of cases do we express appreciation for a well-done action or a deserved quality

In the remaining 78% we include totally or partially some data or word of lack of recognition.

However, recognition generates well-being and motivates us to do things better. 96.9% feel encouraged to do things better when someone recognizes their effort,

91.5% feel significantly happier when receiving a WhatsApp from a loved one who says how important it is to them

This feeling of joy increases among women and young people between the ages of 18 and 24.

91.9% find it happy to receive a call from a friend thanking them for a favor

Women and people between the ages of 35 and 54 rejoice even more.

89.6% are happy when their boss congratulates them for a job well done

It is women and the youngest who share this feeling the most.

87.2% feel more recognized receiving an email from a colleague saying that she appreciates him for being generous

Women are the ones who appreciate it the most.

82.5% are happy when their partner highlights her virtues in front of friends or family

Women and people between the ages of 25 and 64 appreciate it even more.