How to help a jealous person: 6 tips to improve

Jealousy is to some extent a common circumstance in couple relationships, it is related to the level of affectivity that one has for the other person, although it also has a possessive component. As long as these don't affect the partner or person presenting them in any significant way, they aren't much of a problem.

When jealousy transcends a limit and people's quality of life is compromised, the best thing to do is What we can do is try to help, and in some cases it is also necessary to go to assistance services psychological. In this article Let's see how to help a jealous person, in addition to reviewing the concept of colopathy.

• Related article: "The types of jealousy and its different characteristics"

What is colopathy?

It is a pattern of thoughts and behaviors oriented toward a pathological jealousy. To understand how to help a jealous person, it is necessary to understand that this condition is limiting and harmful. The subject is not capable of seeing things as they are happening, but as he imagines them.

The subject with jealousy is capable of creating fanciful stories in his mind, in order to satisfy an irrational need to investigate the jealousy that he himself has been in charge of feeding. That is to say, it is jealousy that They do not necessarily have to fit with the reality of the facts.

Paradoxically, in his intense desire to keep his partner, the subject ends up removing her from her life, or failing that, it will end up harming the relationship to the point of making it dysfunctional for both members. This behavior is intrinsically related to a high level of insecurity and low self-esteem.

• You may be interested in: "Low selfsteem? When you become your own worst enemy"

How to help a jealous person?

In the next few lines we are going to review some effective methods to bring help to people who are affected by this situation of jealousy.

1. Help him reach acceptance

The first thing we should look for when we help a jealous person is to make him realize that his behavior is being disproportionate, and he ends up accepting that he needs help.

To overcome pathological jealousy it is necessary acknowledge that he is being unreasonable and exaggerated regarding the way of seeing and dealing with doubts regarding the fidelity of the couple. A departure from reality is generated, and the person needs to notice it.

2. Give him reasons to want to change

Once the person has accepted that he has a problem and needs help to overcome it, it is a good idea to give him compelling reasons so that he understands how important it is to him and to your relationship. the fact that you change these inappropriate thought patterns.

You can start by listing a series of advantages, such as; lower level of incensary anguish, and a higher level of trust with the partner, etc. This will help the other person, be it your friend or your partner, to acquire the necessary will to change his behavior patterns.

3. Show him ways to detect jealousy

Jealous people may not know they are being jealous; therefore it is necessary that you educate the subject in recognition of this type of behavior, when they occur, so that he himself can recognize and modulate them when they occur.

Give him examples of situations where he can show what is the correct way to proceed when we have a feeling of distrust towards our partner, indicate that we should not make value judgments, and that it is always best to ask things openly to the couple.

4. Help him change his vision of things

This point refers to the fact that as long as we have the ability to make the other person begin to see things as are really happening and not as he imagines them to be, then we will be taking good steps by helping successful.

Focus on centering the subject in the real facts and try to to move away from the ideas that he himself has unfounded based on hypothesizing about far-fetched situations, which do not make much sense, other than playing against him.

5. Encourage him to work on his person

If you get the other person to start investing time in himself, and learn to have a space personal where he can do things that he likes, it is very likely that his level of jealousy will decrease considerably.

A busy mind does not have time to create jealousy stories when there is not enough information, Sometimes it happens that people focus so much on their partner that they forget to do things for them. themselves. Thus, it is recommended that you remind the subject that he too deserves time to enjoy life independently. After all, being jealous also implies becoming dependent and obsessive.

6. Strengthens the trust of a couple

Make sure that the person you are helping renews trust in their partner, it is useless to constantly be looking for the cat's 5 legs. If a person is most of the time looking to corroborate suspicions about her partner, then he will not have time to fulfill her role as boyfriend or girlfriend.

Bibliographic references:

• Mathes, E. (1991). A Cognitive Theory of Jealousy. The Psychology of Jealousy and Envy. New York: Guilford Press.
• Winston, R. (2004). Human. Smithsonian Institution.