How to achieve your goals in 2020: 3 essential questions

First of all: happy new year!

The New Year is a special time to set goals and resolutions, but you know what happens with all of this: they are usually not (or almost never) fulfilled.

Setting resolutions or trying to achieve new goals in your life implies a process of change.. If not, why didn't you get it sooner? A change process implies a psychological and emotional transformation beyond the desire we have to achieve those changes.

Have a purpose or want to achieve a personal development goal (in relation to your well-being, your sentimental or affective relationships, your work, your projects, self-knowledge, self-esteem, emotions, etc.) is the engine of change in your life, since it implies a journey from the way you live now to a life where you want and you deserve to be It is the starting point to live a profound change, an authentic transformation in your life.

• Related article: "Personal Development: 5 reasons for self-reflection"

The emotional January slope

Why don't we usually achieve New Year's goals or resolutions? As much as we are excited to achieve changes, they do not come by themselves. We do not meet them because we do not know how to set the appropriate objectives; we do it in a moment of illusion, but then

the "emotional January slope" arrives (we move away from the purpose because we believe that it is too difficult, complex, or that things "will always be like this"), and above all, because we do not ask ourselves the right questions.

In the last 10 years I have accompanied people from up to 8 different countries as a psychologist and coach in their change processes, and I have observed that in all these cases there are 3 essential questions you must ask yourself to achieve changes in your life (and that almost nobody does to you). Now you will be able to answer those 3 questions.

• You may be interested in: "Types of motivation: the 8 motivational sources"

The 3 essential questions (that nobody asks you)

For about 10 or 15 years it has become very popular to set objectives and purposes, but we do not set them correctly, realistically or deeply, Not even marketing experts really know how to formulate them in relation to your personal development, since what really is an objective or purpose? It's just an approach that helps you change your life, a wish. A goal should not be something material, but a situation that implies that your life has changed.

You already know what are the usual questions to ask yourself a purpose or objective: What do you want to achieve? (this is the goal or purpose), what are you going to do differently? (a totally different series of actions in your life that bring you closer to that purpose, and 10 or 2 are not useful, but 3 or 4, more is too much and scattered and less is too little), how are you going to do it? Where, when, with whom?

These questions can help you achieve goals in relation to small health or work achievements, but they do not imply an authentic transformation in your life and on many occasions, the fact that you do not experience a personal change prevents you from achieving them. There are 3 essential questions that we do not ask ourselves, and they are these.

Why do I really want to achieve this goal or purpose?

This question helps you to get to know yourself better, to go deeper into yourself., and also to discover if your purpose is really yours or is it influenced by your fears or by society. What do you really want to achieve? So that? To what extent would it transform your life? That desire, to what extent does it come from your fear or does it imply a real change?

You currently have a point of view about yourself and your life, and from that point of view you present your purpose. However, a process of change implies that even your point of view changes, your values ​​and your way of seeing life change.

To what extent does that purpose depend entirely on me?

Many of our biggest frustrations are related to goals or purposes where others are included.. This is precisely one of the greatest lessons of our life: we cannot control others or the world, and they are not responsible for our well-being, our past or situation. You must focus on a purpose that is a change, and that this change really depends on you to be able to work on it.

What part of me has to change to achieve this goal or purpose?

Here comes the key. If you have so much desire or illusion for that purpose, why haven't you achieved it until now? Because something in you has to change (your emotion management, your trust, your communication, your relationships, your decision-making, etc.). Therefore, that purpose is exactly what should lead you to that personal change.

If you want me to help you discover your great purpose and be able to live your process of personal change (or professional), I make you a special proposal: I invite you to schedule a first exploratory session free in empowermenthumano.com or in this page and we take the step to get to know each other, discover what change you need and how I can accompany you. May this year be the definitive year of your change and transformation.