How to recognize toxic relationships?

Positive relationships produce well-being, joy and full happiness. Difficulties and unfulfilled expectations are present in all kinds of relationships. That is, it is important not to label the conflict as a fact that is always negative in itself.

However, toxic relationships are those in which repeated patterns that generate wear, sadness and disappointment. That is, they provide more moments of unnecessary suffering than of tranquility and serenity.

Despite this, the people involved can continue for too long immersed in the dynamics of a relationship that is not constructive.

• Related article: "What is social psychology?"

How to recognize the warning signs around toxic relationships?

These are the signs you should pay attention to In day to day:

1. There is no full freedom within the relationship

Words and actions seem to show a constant desire to change the other person. That is to say, complaints, negative criticisms and reproaches occupy a large space in the interaction between the two.

2. The relationship stands on a very shaky foundation

The level of involvement of each one is totally different. There is no true balance in displays of affection. For example, it is common for one of the two feels that he has to constantly strive for the relationship to move forward or to avoid a future distancing. In this case, he believes and feels that he gives more love than he receives on a daily basis.

• You may be interested in: "5 ways to resolve a conflict effectively"

3. Short-term plans are easily broken

The bond advances to the beat of permanent tension, doubts and continuous uncertainty. That is, they produce turning points in which there is no understandable connection between the cause and the effect that has triggered a specific event. In this way, a moment of apparent complicity ends abruptly as a result of a discussion or an intentional silence.

4. Suffering and disappointment grow with the passage of time

Repetitive and negative behaviors occur for a long time. Despite the desire for something to change between them, the situation remains or even worsens over the months. The protagonists are still immersed in similar processes, although the external circumstances are different. But the internal dynamics of the relationship remain essentially the same.

5. The impact of a toxic relationship is enormous.

The unhappiness experienced in the bond itself negatively affects other planes of life. Sometimes, the person distances himself from friends and family who think that this relationship is not positive. Although distancing can occur for many other reasons. Sometimes, the person feels that they must be permanently attentive, committed and involved for the bond to really work.

In other words, this effort requires such a high level of dedication that does not leave the necessary space to frequently care for other affective ties. A toxic relationship produces habitual changes in mood. As a consequence, it is likely that the person does not devote as much space as before to plans that they like. Personal unhappiness interferes negatively even in professional life. A worker who lives in a toxic relationship has more difficulty concentrating.

6. selfishness is common

There is no true pursuit of shared happiness in common. There is some factor that contributes a reductionist vision of the bond: jealousy, doubts, distrust or arrogance. There are frequent discussions that show the existing deficiencies in the communication between both. Lack of empathy, humility, patience, respect and understanding. On the contrary, there are too many assumptions, interferences and hurtful words that block the dialogue.

7. Conflicts that become chronic in the relationship

A specific conflict does not have to be interpreted as a negative experience. It is a fact that can be managed, resolved and resolved through the right tools. In addition, both of you can learn important lessons from the moments you have together. However, it is not positive that the protagonists stagnate in what has happened or that this matter becomes chronic in time. That is, the people involved in a toxic relationship frequently argue about issues from the past. Pending issues accumulate to the point that they interfere with the present.

Therefore, toxic relationships produce a high level of unnecessary suffering. Sometimes those involved come to relativize situations or gestures that are not justifiable in any context. They can come to normalize the deficiencies of a relationship that is perceived from a different point of view when it is analyzed externally. In short, toxic relationships produce intense and unpleasant emotions in everyday life. On the contrary, they leave very little room for calm and tranquility.