What to do if my son does not respect me? 7 tips
Getting a son or daughter to start respecting her parents is not always easy. Normally it is not a relational dynamic that appears spontaneously for the simple fact of having a direct relationship of kinship. In most cases, you have to work proactively to create this healthy bond between parents and children.
In this article we will see some key ideas to know what to do so that a child respects his parents. Knowing how to solve this type of conflict in the most constructive way possible and without aggravating the situation is essential.
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My son does not respect me: what to do?
Each family and paternal or maternal bond with a boy or girl is different. Particular problems require particular solutions, thought after sticking to the specific case. This makes many adults feel disoriented on many issues related to parenting, and the management of authority in front of children is something that frequently causes headaches.
Specifically, there is a pattern that is repeated many times: I want to have a healthy and loving relationship with the little one in the house, but He doesn't make it easy for me and he skips the rules… what to do if my son does not respect me?
Fortunately, although each case is unique, there are general aspects that can guide us when it comes to managing the upbringing of children well. Next we will see some very useful tips to solve the kind of parenting problems derived from the lack of respect for those who want the best for their children.
1. Set lines not to be crossed
It is important to be very clear about what types of behaviors are totally unacceptable and to differentiate them from others that are simply undesirable but of minor importance. These ideas will be the main structure on which our management of the disrespect of our son or daughter must be erected.
It is very important, therefore, to establish from the beginning what is not going to be tolerated in any way and whose non-compliance will require compensation actions on the part of the child. It is also crucial to act consistently and not show inconsistencies when applying these rules of respect. The work of weeks can fall apart if there are a few exceptions, since it clearly shows that in practice there are no such red lines.
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2. listen to each other
Once the above is done, it is very important that you talk about the problem that exists. You should express your concerns and the reason for your discomfort when your son or daughter misses you at respect, and he should have the opportunity to talk about needs of his that he believes are overlooked high. This way it is possible to reach agreements that both parties value and that, consequently, they are not seen as an imposition.
3. When something is breached, demand compensatory behavior
This should not be seen as a way to get revenge, and it is important that the minor does not perceive it that way either. Having spoken about your point of view, it is easier to justify why you ask to be compensated for the discomfort caused, but still ways it is necessary that you explain again why in this complete case it is necessary to make a sacrifice and restore respect mutual.
This compensation should always include an apology, and sometimes this will not be enough. Of course, physical punishment should not be considered as an option. Simply, they must be tasks that require an effort proportional to the damage caused, even if it is a symbolic compensation.
4. Enforce the rules immediately
When a rule is breached, it is important to demand compensatory behavior immediately, do not wait for a context in which it is more comfortable. In this way, the association between the offense and the compensation is more direct and evident, and the experience is memorized as a whole.
5. set an example
This is a point that many parents forget, because it puts them in a bind. However, it should be remembered that among the sacrifices that fatherhood and motherhood imply is that of setting an example. It is not only so that our children learn by imitation and not cause us problems: besides that, it is It is a right of the little ones to have appropriate behavior references in their fathers or mothers, so that it is not difficult for them to adapt to society and coexistence with others.
6. Avoid framing the restriction of freedoms as if it were a renunciation of pleasure
It is important to always show that family rules are indeed a limitation of individual freedom, but they are also a way of expanding collective freedoms. By following reasonable rules, it is possible to have friends and allies, trust each other, and generally show your love for one another.
Thus, complying with the rules is not a necessity because it deprives us of pleasant situations or because impersonal and cold treatment is desirable, but because in fact allows our relationships to be of better quality and, in general, that we enjoy life better in the company of the rest.
7. show your humanity
Disrespect, as much as it comes from young children, hurts. It is good to show that discomfort so that your son or daughter also faces that part of the consequences that her behavior has had.