What to do when there is a couple crisis?
Apr 18, 2023
It is very likely that, if you have come this far, it is because you are going through a bad moment in your marriage or courtship, You don't know what to do in the face of a couple crisis, and you can't think of any more possible solutions to get out of it.
Love relationships can be difficult, and sometimes couples face crises that test their love and their ability to overcome problems together. A couple crisis can arise for many reasons, such as communication problems, infidelity, cultural, economic, value differences, among others. However, If addressed properly, a couple crisis can be an opportunity to strengthen the relationship and grow together..
What to do in the face of a couple crisis: 7 guidelines to follow
These are some recommendations to follow to resolve the crisis you are going through
1. open and honest communication
Communication is key in any relationship, and it is even more important in times of crisis. Sometimes we tend to think that "communication is lacking" when the reality is that it is excessive, but of the dysfunctional type. Thus,
- Related article: "The 12 basic communication skills"
2. Acceptance and understanding
Accepting that there is a problem in the relationship is the first step to solving it. It is important that both you and your partner understand that each one has their own reasons and feelings in the crisis.. Try to put yourself in the other's shoes and understand their perspective, this can help you find solutions that work for both of you.
3. Seek professional help
Sometimes the help of a professional may be necessary to resolve a relationship crisis. A certified therapist can help identify the underlying causes of the problem and provide tools to resolve it. If both are willing to work on the relationship, couples therapy can be a good option to improve communication and emotional connection.
That is why I encourage you to contact me and we can start a therapeutic process in which we can resolve your crisis.
- You might be interested in: "How do you know when to go to couples therapy? 5 compelling reasons"
4. work on yourself
Often couple crises are the result of unresolved personal problems. Taking time to work on yourself, whether through meditation, exercise, or individual therapy, can help you become a better partner and more at peace with yourself. Besides, when you work on yourself, you can be a role model for your partner, which can help improve the relationship.
5. learn to forgive
Sometimes couple crises are the result of projections and stumbling blocks committed by one or both members of the couple. Learning to forgive your partner and yourself is essential to overcome a relationship crisis. Forgiveness doesn't mean you forget what happened, but it does mean you're willing to let go of hurt and resentment to move on together.
- Related article: "What is and what is not forgiveness"
6. Activate the Default Neural Network
It is essential that you learn to go through moments of solitude with yourself in which there is no greater distraction or stimulus than your own mind, emotions, feelings, plans...
For this reason, I encourage you to choose a quiet place for 30 minutes a day and dedicate those 30 minutes to strengthen the Default Neural Network in order to find yourself and rebuild many of the wounds that exist in your inside.
7. Increase moments of intimacy as a couple
One of the most relevant problems within the couple is the lack of moments of intimacy. And by this I am not only referring to the sexual nature of the relationship, but also to those moments in which fears, insecurities, desires, achievements, plans are shared... It is essential that you can take time out every day to share how you feel, what worries you, what emotion do you feel most strongly, that you would like to transform in your relationship...
Problem Solving Technique for couple crisis
Below I will briefly outline the steps required to carry out effective troubleshooting.
1. become aware
It is important to understand that, like any methodology, it is not a magic solution to all problems and it is essential to let go of all expectations of suffering 0.
2. list problem
The next step will be to choose different types of problems that exist within the couple and place them in a hierarchical manner by order of importance and magnitude.
- You might be interested in: "Self-knowledge: definition and 8 tips to improve it"
3. choose the problem
now you are going to choose the problem that, within the hierarchy, is most relevant to you, but know that you have the ability to face him.
4. Possible solutions
It is time to take our creativity for a walk and with it begin to formulate different types of solutions, no matter how far-fetched they may seem. The more the better and the more varied they are, the closer you will get. At this point it is relevant to say that two possible extreme solutions will be chosen. One of action and one of inaction.
It should be noted that during this phase, there can be no value judgments towards any of the options, no criticism, or anything that calls into question the validity of the option.
5. Select preferred solution
Now, and not before, is the time to assess and judge the different solutions proposed above. To do this, we will make a list of pros and cons with each of the possible solutions until we find the one that best suits both by scoring each option from 1 to 10.
It is important in this step to take into account the degree of resolution of the problem with each proposed solution, the relationship cost/benefit, the degree of general satisfaction, what is gained and what is lost and, finally, considering what is the worst that can be happen with her.
6. implement solution
Now comes the moment of truth where you will both put the chosen solution into practice through small steps and you will see if it really works and solves the problem always negotiating with the couple how far you can go at all times.
And if that solution does not work, we simply look at the next one that we had as the best value and try to implement it.
I am aware that all this is easier said than done, which is why I propose that you contact Contact me so you can tell me about your personal situation and let's see how we can manage it.
Finally, I want to thank you for staying until the end and I sincerely hope that you can improve your relationship as a couple.