3 forms of bullying that go unnoticed

Throughout childhood and adolescence we spend a great deal of our time at school. This makes classrooms not only the space to acquire knowledge, but also the environment where to acquire values, configure a certain vision of the world and forge the foundations of the personality.

Under ideal conditions, all students should be able to go to class feeling comfortable and safe, making their school stage one full of satisfaction. However, the reality of many of them is far from this ideal situation. Many children and adolescents experience bullying firsthand, also known as bullying. This form of violence, until recently minimized and invisible, constitutes a serious problem that it can profoundly damage the mental health of the victims, leaving long-term consequences.

Fortunately, bullying has begun to be recognized as a problem that concerns the entire educational system. It has stopped being disguised as a simple dispute between colleagues, giving rise to the creation of intervention protocols that tackle the problem as early as possible. In addition, this has been combined with preventive measures that try to educate students in values ​​such as cooperation, empathy and friendship.

Despite these important advances, bullying continues to be a very common problem in schools. Its detection is usually relatively late, since it is an elusive phenomenon whose detection is not always easy. Violence towards a partner cannot only be expressed through insults and blows. Other less obvious strategies can also do profound damage to the victim, making it difficult for the adults around them to recognize the bullying.

In this article we will focus on those forms of bullying that tend to go unnoticed.

• Related article: "The 11 types of violence (and the different kinds of aggression)"

What is bullying?

Before delving into the most difficult forms of bullying to detect, it is important to clarify what bullying is.

Bullying is a type of systematic violence that takes place between peers from the same school environment. The aggressor can generate suffering in the victim verbally, physically, psychologically and even sexually.

Bullying does not refer to specific attacks and limited in time. Rather, encompasses that type of repeated violence that is usually carried out following a certain modus operandi. However, when a single violent event occurs from one or more classmates towards another, the school You should always analyze what happens to take action and prevent that episode from becoming bullying in all ruler.

Bullying is characterized by the asymmetry of power existing between victim and aggressor. It is not a problem of coexistence or a conflict between equals. The aggressor is situated above the one who suffers the harassment in one way or another, either because they are older, more powerful or physically stronger.

Bullying is often talked about as a minor child issue. However, this belief is far from reality. Bullying is a serious problem that deeply damages the well-being of the victim, who can be marked in the short and long term by this experience.

The systematic nature of this form of violence causes the victim to end up developing what is known as learned helplessness. After living the same situation day after day, he ends up accepting that he can't do anything to defend himself against the attacks. This makes him adopt a posture of complete submission and blocking, so that he lives the reality of him as a bird trapped in a cage that he is unable to open.

Facing daily aggressions with no possibility of escape of it seriously damages the self-esteem of the child, his social skills and her vision of the world. In the most severe cases, the victim may assimilate that they deserve the mistreatment of their peers because they are worthless. He internalizes the insults that come to him from abroad as his own voice that damages his self-concept, not to mention the normalization of violence within the framework of relationships.

The emotional suffering of the victim can become apparent through signs such as increased irritability, somatizations (for example, stomach aches or headaches), nightmares, bed-wetting, sadness And fear. When there is physical violence, marks such as bruises or wounds may appear with no apparent explanation.

A common mistake when addressing bullying has to do with focusing on the victim, ignoring the role of the aggressor. Although it is clear that the person who is being bullied needs specific attention, understanding why one minor has bullied another is equally relevant to correcting her behavior and preventing it from happening again. In fact, many children who bully their peers are simply modeling violent behavior they see at home. Thus, bullying can be the alarm signal to protect that child from the violence that he himself may be suffering at home.

Bullying is an extremely frequent problem, which occurs equally in all types of educational centers. For years, the obligation of schools and institutes to always act to try to stop this form of violence has been recognized. In addition, in cases recognized as harassment, a specific action protocol must be implemented. Faced with a situation like this, the parents of the victims tend to be inclined to change their children to the center. However, this tactic should never be the first solution tried.

It is always key to try to resolve bullying in the very center where it originated. When the victim is transferred to another center, this can convey to her that she is the problem and that what has happened is her responsibility. Besides, a change of center can be a challenge for a minor who has suffered violence and they have seen their relational schemes with their peers disrupted, as well as their self-esteem and security. In addition, resolving the root issue also prevents other students from suffering the same situation in the future.

Unfortunately, there are still many centers that do not fulfill their responsibility. There is still a lot of work pending to eradicate bullying, the process of detecting this form of violence in the classroom still needs to be fine-tuned.

• You may be interested in: "The 6 characteristics of childhood traumas"

3 variants of bullying that often go unnoticed

Whenever violence is discussed, we assume that it manifests itself in the form of obvious actions, such as blows or insults. However, bullying can take the form of many forms, some so subtle that they don't even capture the attention of adults.

1. Isolation and social rejection

A very common form of bullying has to do with isolation and rejection of the victim. The affected minor may not be receiving insults or physical aggression, but he is not accepted in the group or allowed to participate in joint activities with others. In game moments he is not allowed and, when he is allowed to participate, the aim is to make him feel less than the rest.

The victim feels totally alone, since no one speaks to him or offers his company. In general, you may have a constant feeling of being left alone or practically invisible to your peers. This isolation usually starts from a nucleus of classmates who manipulate and convince the rest of the class not to associate with the victim. In the absence of explicit aggression, adults can ignore that there is a problem and even blame the student himself for not having support around her.

• Related article: "Unwanted loneliness: what it is and how we can fight it"

2. cyberbullying

The arrival of new technologies has made it possible to open a new channel for minors who attack their peers. Although bullying has always been defined as violence that takes place in the center, the appearance of social networks in the equation has forced us to consider other scenarios.

So, bullying can also take place between peers outside the physical boundaries of the school through these platforms. In fact, bullying online can be even more devastating than bullying in person, as bullies can act anonymously and access their victim whenever they want.

The minor who suffers this violence cannot even feel comfortable at home, since they are attacked online in multiple ways. Among the different tactics are: sending insulting messages, making videos or montages hurtful acts, disseminating photos of the victim without her consent, or making public criticisms of her person. All this with the ultimate goal of humiliating the victim and instilling pain.

3. Nicknames, practical jokes and rumors

Verbal bullying can be devastating and yet go undetected. Rumors about the victim can be spread among colleagues, called “funny” nicknames against her will, and even made her the focus of various practical jokes. the aggressors They may even resort to violence gas light to make the affected partner feel that his discomfort is invalid and that if he shows up, it's his fault. For example, they may tell you that you are too boring for not wanting to take jokes, that you lack a sense of humor, or that you are paranoid that others are against you.