Education, study and knowledge

I feel inferior to others: possible causes, and what to do

Self-esteem is very important for the development of people, in all its stages. This begins to be established from the early stages of development and is consolidated in adulthood, in which the subject with a good self-esteem will be able to face the different adversities that present.

However, it is relatively common for people to have problems in this regard. "I feel inferior to others" is a frequent thought, a consequence of something going wrong during the establishment of self-esteem. In any case, with the fact that we have noticed it, we have already taken the first step towards achieving a healthier self-concept. Next we will see what to do in these cases, and some of its possible causes.

  • Related article: "Low selfsteem? When you become your own worst enemy"

Why do I feel inferior to the rest?

As we have seen before, if I feel inferior to others, it is because the process of establishing self-esteem has been hit at some point. There are several ways this could have happened, so let's look at the most common ones.

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1. pessimistic attitude

The pessimistic attitude is like a vine that grows longer and stronger as it passes. time and adaptive ways of coping are not sought for this dysfunction of the thought. It is based on a bias that leads us to assume that the achievements we achieve are due to external elements, and the bad things that happen to us are our own fault.

These types of attitudes are transferred from one person to another. If we have grown up in a pessimistic environment, it is likely that when we are older we tend to adopt this mentality. But it's never too late to break this negative cycle.

2. exaggerated conduct

When we exaggerate the negative situations in our lives, we are preparing the ground for us to feel overwhelmed by situations that we could really manage. Thinking that all bad things happen to us, or that we always end up disadvantaged by any event, puts us in a condition of emotional handicap.

We must avoid this situation at all costs; It is important to understand that the things that happen to us will not always be unpleasant. The bad is temporary, and better times will always come to the extent that we are able to change our exaggerated thinking.

3. constant comparisons

People who spend too much time comparing themselves to other people tend to have a higher degree of insecurity in themselves, and therefore feel that they are in the shadow of others. It is common that the result they get from comparisons is that others are better than them.

Comparing yourself with other people can serve to learn and take certain positive aspects of others, but we should not do it obsessively; everyone is different and has unique abilities.

4. The envy

Envy is a harmful feeling for anyone, since it favors anguish and feeds a very competitive and dysfunctional mentality.

You must protect yourself against the possibility of feeling envy. Focus on you and the virtues you have, use them to build a bridge towards your goals, without the achievements of others clouding your view of your own abilities. Be the one who influences the environment, and do not let what happens around you affect you in a decisive way.

  • You may be interested in: "Psychology of envy: 5 keys to understand it"

5. The need for approval

When we invest a lot of resources trying to please others, we inevitably we are forgetting ourselves in the process. In other words, the fact of feeling less than others very often means being subject to criteria and standards that mean nothing to us other than the fact that they are an external imposition. This leads us to assume a role of pure reaction to what happens around us, instead of working and striving for what really satisfies us and allows us to grow as people.

This situation will result in us never feeling satisfied with what we do, taking into account that we may not always be able to please everyone. The ideal is to maintain your essence, always politely before others, but never with excessive praise.

How to overcome the feeling of inferiority?

In the next lines we will review some ways to overcome the feeling that we are inferior to others.

1. Realize that no one is perfect

The first step is to realize that no person is absolutely good at everything, and that just as you have things that you can improve, everyone does. It is only a personal task, of each one, to take charge of being the best version of oneself.

2. Interpret failure as an opportunity

Change the perception we have of our failures brings us closer to a greater understanding of our capabilities. Instead of getting depressed because you failed at something, evaluate why you failed and learn from the mistakes you made. View failures as valuable opportunities to learn and get to know yourself better.

3. Find your virtues

In case you are still not clear about what your virtues are, you should take the time to search for and find them. It is completely impossible that there are no virtues in you, focus on discovering what you enjoy doing and what you are good at.

4. Avoid irrational persistence

This point refers to being able to accept that we are not always going to be the best at the things we like. Instead of feeling frustrated by this fact, he begins by do things without the irrational need to be the best at them, and do them because you enjoy the process.

5. don't hate your flaws

Keep in mind that the defects of each one of us make us different from the rest, therefore are an important part of ourselves, with which we must learn to live in an adaptive way for the rest of our lives.

The ideal is to recognize and accept our limitations without them taking away our sleep, always trying to improve our weak points, but understanding that we are not less than anyone else for not being so good in something.

6. Balance strengths and weaknesses

This balance means that instead of dedicating all your resources to trying to improve your defects, you are also able to get down to work to keep improving in the things that are given to you easily. In other words, focus more on your potential and not so much on your shortcomings. In this way, you will interpret your possible imperfections as a reference point from which to progress in a personal or professional development project.

7. Quarantine the world of celebrities and influencers

It is very unhealthy (psychologically) to constantly expose yourself to content published on the Internet or in the media that "shows" how celebrities or influencers live.

This is so because those photos and videos are basically part of a marketing device that works so that the general public has an idealized image of the people they work for. Thus, it is normal to feel "less", because we are prevented from seeing the real imperfections of references such as models, actors, soccer players...

Bibliographic references:

  • Branden, N. (2001). The psychology of self-esteem: a revolutionary approach to self-understanding that launched a new era in modern psychology. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
  • Clance, P.R.; Imes, S.A. (1978). The Impostor Phenomenon in High Achieving Women: Dynamics and Therapeutic Intervention. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research & Practice. 15(3): p. 241 - 247.
  • Greenberg, J. (2008). Understanding the vital human quest for self-esteem. Perspectives on Psychological Science. 3(1): p. 48 - 55.
  • Michaels, M.; Barr, A.; Roosa, M.; Knight, G. (2007). Self-Esteem: Assessing Measurement Equivalence in a Multiethnic Sample of Youth. Journal of Early Adolescence, 27(3): pp. 269 - 295.
  • Mruk, C. (2006). Self-Esteem research, theory, and practice: Toward a positive psychology of self-esteem. New York: Springer.
  • Rotter, J. (1954). Social learning and clinical psychology. Englewood Cliffs, New Jersey: Prentice Hall.
  • Walton, G.M.; Cohen, G. L. (2007). A question of belonging: Race, social fit, and achievement. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 92(1): pp. 82 - 96.

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