The 5 signs that you idealize Love

The feeling of being in love is a wonderful experience that is worth discovering and living. It goes far beyond butterflies in the stomach and nervous laughter, loving the person full of vitality and strength. However, in the last century, love is one of the terms that has been most idealized and therefore Consequently, we do not stop looking for it, missing it, imagining it... Now, do we really know what it is? love? Or perhaps we have simply stuck to an ideal that we have been taught or observed?

It is very easy to fall into the idealization of your partner and the love relationship, since maintaining the perfect balance between the explosive cocktail of emotions and the expectations of each one is extremely complicated, especially in the early stages of falling in love. When we are getting to know someone, everything may be going well or on the contrary, one of the things that can happen is that love has arisen from the idea we have of that person and not of who that person is in reality.

With this, we do not mean that you should repress what you feel, nor that you set limits to contain yourself, rather, it is about understanding that idealizing the other person makes you lose perspective or objectivity and this is when problems can appear within the couple romantic. For example, one of the typical things that happens is that if we idealize love, when we go through streaks bad, disappointment is the first feeling that appears and makes us feel truly unlucky.

• Related article: "What is love? (And what isn't)"

Signs that you are idealizing love

Taking all of the above into account, we will talk about the signals that exist for know if we have fallen in love with the person, or instead, with the idealization that our head has made of it.

1. You're the love of my life"

How many times have we seen movies, series, read books or even heard around us phrases like "he is the love of my life", "he is my better half", etc. It seems that somewhere in the world is that perfect person who fits with us as if it were a puzzle piece. When we are guided by phrases like this, we feel that our only job is to find Prince Charming so that he can finish us off. This great expectation is a way of idealizing love and for this reason, you may be constantly searching and be disappointed to realize that there is no one perfect for you.

We advise you to put this thought aside as you may be missing out on many opportunities with people who may not fully reach the expectation you have set for yourself, but who could be a love real.

• You may be interested in: "The myth of the better half: no couple is ideal"

2. You think that this relationship will never give you a bad time

Of course, a healthy relationship contributes to a person's emotional well-being and is an important source of support. However, we are all human beings and we fail to love. I wish we had the innate ability to love in such a perfect way that we only offer full happiness. You have to be clear that who loves you it can hurt you even without meaning to. By idealizing a perfect relationship where there are no bad moments, you are not allowing yourself to delve into what love really is.

Now the important thing is know if when what the other person does or says hurts us, he has done it on purpose or not.

3. Do you think "it was written"

People who idealize love often share the idea of ​​believing in destiny. You may think that everything was written and that it is not necessary to fight for a relationship since who has to arrive, will arrive. We are sorry to tell you that this has nothing to do with reality since in love it requires effort, work and daily dedication so that it becomes stable and lasting.

• Related article: "What are cheat thoughts and how to prevent them?"

4. You assume that love is synonymous with happiness

Perhaps you think that to be completely happy you must have a partner by your side.. You may be clinging to the idea that loving and being loved equals feeling complete and unmatched happiness. In part, you are right, since as we mentioned at the beginning, the feeling of falling in love is precious and of course full of happiness. However, you cannot ignore the potholes and difficulties that every love relationship has. Not only this, but mistakenly thinking that love means being constantly happy, ensures you will be disappointed, and a lot. In the field of love, feeling dissatisfied, disappointed and often sad is completely normal and even healthy.

5. You think love lasts forever on its own

This is clearly another of the phrases that are heard so much around us. It seems that we are all looking for that precious and lifelong love. Also, we put pressure on ourselves thinking that if love is true, it will last forever. Of course, this may be the case and work, and on the contrary, love may last for a while and end. This does not mean that you have failed in love.

In fact, the person you have loved may be so special that they always occupy a piece of your mind and heart, however, this is not enough to maintain a loving relationship for years. You completely lose this thought when you idealize love. The most important thing is to know that For the relationship to last, we must be actively involved in it.

How to love without idealizing?

It is portrayed that when we idealize someone, we can end up suffering significantly not only ourselves, but also the other part of the couple. Therefore, we can modify certain issues to learn to love without idealizing, because yes, it is possible. Next, we list a series of tips for it:

1. Flexibility

Not everything is black and white, make your mind flexible to gray scales. You must be clear that nobody is perfect and that your better half does not exist. Therefore, a mistake or something that does not fit perfectly with the other person does not mean that it is not made for you. Opening your mind aims to observe and therefore accept the other as he really is, without the idealization that your head has formed of him. Realizing your partner's flaws doesn't mean you love them less, it just can help you not be disappointed later in the relationship.

2. improve your self esteem

How we see ourselves says a lot about our perspective on the world and others. It is important that you begin to get to know yourself and observe the qualities and defects in you and above all, be aware that although you are not perfect, you are just as valuable and important as the rest. Many times when we idealize someone, we put them on a pedestal and according to experts, this is related to low self-esteem. Do not place yourself in a position of inferiority over your partner, love yourself, accept yourself and of course, once again, get into your head that no human being is perfect.

3. Look at your speech about love

If you are feeling identified with the article, it is very likely that you should review your beliefs about love and, of course, rebuild them. Take real and healthy references to help you in this process. Maybe they are your parents, grandparents, or even friends. The most important thing is that you be clear about what a relationship really means: two people who they know deeply and even so they decide to accept themselves, help each other with the aim of improving and growing daily. Love cannot handle everything, there is no single correct person for you, nor is it your job to tolerate any behavior because "you love him".

Connect with other prospects

You need to open your eyes, ears and mind to listen to the opinions of the people around you about your relationship. They may be able to provide information that you are not able to see from the inside. It is important not to miss a past that is gone and will not return, and it is also crucial not to cling to the potential that we believe the other has and will bring out in the future. Our job is to observe what the person and the relationship brings us right now, in the present. The past is useless and, of course, the future is useless.