Is it worth it to continue with the relationship after an infidelity?

I am often asked if it is worth continuing with the relationship after a infidelity. And it is that infidelity is one of the most devastating and harsh experiences that can occur in a relationship.

When an affair or a parallel relationship is uncovered, there is a very strong shake not only to the foundations of the relationship but also to the foundations of the deceived person.

The people to whom they have been unfaithful are suddenly transported into a sea of ​​doubts about themselves, about their relationship, about their life, about their future...

questions and questions crowd looking for clear answers and above all security and some way to regain control over their lives.

Among all of them, those that have to do with the continuity of the relationship stand out: Do I continue? Do I try to get over it? Im getting a divorce? Do I ask you to leave forever?

But unfaithful people may also have doubts about whether or not to bet on the relationship. It will depend on many things such as the type of infidelity, the link with the third person...

Whatever position you are in, whether you are the wronged person or the unfaithful person, in this article I am going to give you some clues so that you find your own answers that will help you make the best decision for you, for your family and for your life.

• Related article: "Couple crisis: 7 signs that indicate that something is not right"

When is it worth continuing with the relationship after an infidelity? Questions for the betrayed person

Betting on a relationship after an infidelity costs great effort and pain until reconciliation is achieved. However, leaving a relationship to escape the pain and shame is not always the best alternative. Making the decision is not easy at all but I bring you 10 questions that can help you reflect and find the answers you need right now:

• Does your unfaithful partner regret the damage they have caused you?
• Do you see regret and actions to repair the damage caused?
• Do you have the feeling that your partner is open to doing what is necessary to regain trust?
• Do you feel that there will be transparency, that you will be able to hear the truth? - Can he accompany you when you have questions, fears and insecurities? - Or, on the contrary, do you get angry, lose patience or do not tolerate it?
• Can you understand, to some degree, the fact that he was unfaithful?
• Do you think it's worth fighting for the relationship you had before the infidelity was uncovered?
• Or, on the contrary, was there already a great deterioration?
• If you were not weighed how it can change your life or the opinion of your environment, what decision would you make?

When is it worth continuing after an infidelity? Questions for the unfaithful person

If you have been the unfaithful person, once the infidelity is uncovered, you can be very clear about the path you would like to follow.

If your best option is not to continue with the couple relationship, I recommend that you put in place both the honesty and the necessary courage so that your partner is clear about your decision as soon as possible.

Even if you are trying to protect her from the pain, dragging the decision out in time can lead to false illusions and the damage is even more lasting and profound.

In the event that you have doubts about whether or not to bet on your relationship, I have 7 questions for you that will help you gain more clarity:

• Can you accept responsibility for being unfaithful? Or are you not clear that it was really an infidelity?
• Do you think that infidelity is also to blame for your partner?
• Do you feel remorse, shame or discomfort for the pain that your partner is feeling now?
• Do you think that your infidelity is justified in your situation?
• Would you be unfaithful again or do you promise not to repeat it in the future? - If you had or have a parallel relationship, are you sure if you want to break it? - If you were not afraid of how your life or the opinion of your environment will change, would you prefer to separate and bet on this new relationship?
• To regain your partner's trust, you will have to make a commitment to reinforce their security, answer their questions, learn to calm their fears, do you see yourself willing and strong enough to face this process?
• Do you think it's worth fighting for the relationship you had before the infidelity was uncovered?

Do you need help making your decision?

Whatever position you are in, I recommend that do not make any decisions impulsively. By the time the infidelity is revealed, emotions can be so intense that thinking clearly becomes very, very difficult.

So take your time, think about it calmly. But if you don't see yourself capable of finding clarity, if it's hard for you to have enough serenity to decide or if it's impossible for you to talk to your partner without everything exploding, Your best option may be to seek professional help..

One option is the couple therapy for infidelity. Think that having the possibility of speaking with the help of an expert and neutral person allows you to have a safe space in which to explore alternatives before making a decision.

And also, whatever decision you make, it can help you take your future path along the most direct path and with the least possible pain.

You also have the possibility of requesting individual therapy on the couple and having a space in the that you can reflect aloud without having to hide information, without taboos, without fear of being judge... As much as it is difficult at first to make the decision to ask for help, I assure you that it avoids a lot of suffering and allows you to find relief and peace of mind in much less time. Worth.