How to improve the relationship with my parents? 6 tips

The family is a context of relationships in which it is normally easy for happy moments to occur, but there are also common cases of people who believe that their relationship with other relatives is improvable. Although arguments between siblings are a constant in certain homes where there are children, it is the relationship with parents that is most likely to leave problems entrenched for years.

How to improve the relationship with my parents? This is what those who, due to differences, past conflicts or misunderstandings of all kinds, see how time flies and this affective bond does not give of itself everything it should.

In this article we will see some tips to know how to improve the relationship with fathers and mothers, and how these guidelines can be applied according to several examples.

• Related article: "The 8 types of family conflicts and how to manage them"

How to improve the relationship with parents

The steps to follow that you will find below are general guidelines that work in many cases, although each family is unique and you have to know how to adapt them to what you experience on a day-to-day basis.

1. Create expectations of good behavior

One of the mechanisms that facilitate the improvement of a relationship it has to do with openly showing that our perception of a person is good or, if we already knew them, that they have changed for the better. In this way, the other sees a positive reflection of her identity, and seeks not to miss this opportunity to continue enjoying a good image.

For example, we can thank a father or mother for a favor they have done us, and do it with an emphasis that shows we especially appreciate what you have done for us. It is good to stop to think and recognize your effort invested in actions that benefit us and that, out of habit, we often take for granted.

This strategy may seem banal, but with this simple strategy, repeated several times, you can give that little push necessary so that improve the relationship, especially, between those cases in which the relational problems were maintained by the inertia of believing oneself despised by the other person.

2. give them time

To improve a relationship with parents, it is always necessary to spend more time with them. These moments will help to know their points of view, to give them the opportunity to break our expectations about what we believe to be their tastes and opinions, and of course, express affection.

For example, you can go from eating each one at your own time to eating together, or spending Sunday mornings taking a walk, etc.

• You may be interested in: "How to communicate better with our family: 5 tips"

3. Remember happy moments together

This is one of the easiest steps to improve the relationship with parents, since it involves, simply, remember together and out loud, like creating a narrative from memories, in a collaborative way. In this way, the experience lived in the present (being sharing a moment with a father, a mother or both) and the positive emotions that those experiences produced are linked.
In addition, it is possible to know facets of what happened in those times that were unknown at the time, which allows us to deepen the relationship.

4. Acknowledge their contributions to your life

In most cases, parents not only give us life; they also raise us and educate us to become functional adults, with the ability to make achievements of various kinds. Therefore, it is good to make it clear that we are aware of this.

For example, if our career path was fueled by college education paid for in part by them, this fact can be highlighted in a situation in which we are congratulated for a work objective got.

5. Do your part in conversations

It is very common that part of the family conflicts between parents and children has to do with the impatience of the youngest when the parents take an interest in their lives. For this reason, some dialogues seem more like interrogations, since the parents ask questions, and the children answer in the shortest possible way.

This is just a sign that you have to invest more efforts in establishing enriching dialogues, instead of simply enduring them as if they were torture. You can also ask them to, from there, make the words emerge in a more spontaneous way.

6. Be patient

parents too They have a lot to learn from their children., and this is something that we often do not count on. Assuming that they are adults, it is tempting to think that with little effort they can learn things day-to-day basics just as we have done, especially related to new technologies. But the truth is that the context in which our fathers and mothers grew up bears little resemblance to the ours, and at some point it costs more to catch up on the latest trends in terms of styles of life.

Therefore, be psyched: they are going to ask a lot of questions about what certain neologisms mean, you They are going to ask for help with the phone or with the computer, and it is possible that you will have to repeat it several times. times. None of this should wear you out, as frustrating as this may seem, it makes sense that it takes more time for them to enter these worlds of the new.