The crucial role of communication in Family Mediation

Let's imagine the following situation: the key fits into the lock, the door opens and the children smash their backpacks on the floor after a long school day. However, the youngest is quieter than usual, he seems a bit downcast and locks himself in his room as soon as he gets home. During dinner, he drags food from one side of his plate to the other and remains silent. Although our individual abilities may differ in this regard, people are experts in recognize emotional states in others, so it is evident to their parents that the child has something occurs. However, instead of starting a dialogue space, one of the parents could reprimand him for his behavior; the other, to say to leave him alone, that he'll get over it.

As we can see, although parents are most likely acting in the way they consider most appropriate to raise their children (since it is worth remembering that no one born knowing how to be a father), this scene clearly illustrates a communication problem in family mediation, not only between the parents with respect to the child, but also among themselves. For this reason, in this article we will delve into

the crucial role of communication in family mediation.

• Related article: "Psychotherapy and mediation: similarities and differences"

Communication in the family

Within the family —as occurs in human relationships in general— we need interaction with others. This statement appears to be obvious. However, have we ever thought about the difficulties we would have to face if we could not carry out actions as small as making suggestions or asking for help? In fact, it is something we do so often that we are not even aware of it. Communication via language in its various forms —whether corporal, oral or written— is a great advantage that human beings have to adapt to the challenges of the environment.

For its part, communication in the family environment in particular adopts certain different qualities with respect to communication in other vital areas. Firstly, the members of a family share a physical and temporary space once the particular activities that each one carries out on her behalf, be they going to school, working or practicing some hobby. And, even though the time spent together is brief, it is crucial in those moments of meeting that the members of the family can share their experiences, challenges, joys and concerns of daily life to accompany each other others.

In addition, Life in the same space can lead to a series of conflicts or contradictions between the different members that need to be put on the table. (and never better said). A clear example is the conflicts linked to the fulfillment of household chores or related to respect for certain spaces of privacy even when they are gathered under the same roof. This not only applies to parents with respect to their children but to each other, since we remember that mediation between both is important in Therefore, they not only fulfill the role of caregivers of their children, but also share a life project susceptible to changes and discussions.

Taking into account the importance of communication within the family, it is evident that if one or several members have difficulties expressing their own interests and needs assertively, with precision and clarity, it is likely that various problems in individuals as a result, whether the dialogue is poor or conflictive in parent-child relationships and between siblings.

The family is decisive in the development of children., since it is the nucleus where the person is introduced into society and the reality in which they live —and, therefore, the rules or norms that they must abide by to adapt to it—, but it is also the framework in which she gradually acquires abilities to gain autonomy and differentiate herself from her parents during the adolescence. The agents that promote the acquisition of these skills are usually the parents, although it can also be another person who is very present in the child's life. Therefore, good communication between both parties is of the utmost importance for this to be possible.

• You may be interested in: "The 12 basic communication skills"

Family communication as a risk and protection factor

The range of research regarding the role of communication in family mediation is wide. They tend to conclude that poor communication between parents and children could be a risk factor for the child. or adolescent, increasing the chances that he will act in a way that compromises his bonds, his well-being and health in general. It has been verified that there is a relationship between inefficient mediation and a greater probability of dropping out of school and drug abuse, alcohol and tobacco use. Besides, poor communication in the family is related to greater difficulties in bonding with friends, as well as greater physical and psychological discomfort compared to those who maintain a assertive communication with their parents.

In opposition to this, it has been found that good communication in parent-child relationships implies a protective factor for adolescents. In families where this type of communication prevails, adolescents perceive support unconditional support from their parents, as well as strengthening the sense of family unity in situations difficult. This would be beneficial beyond the family sphere, since adolescents who belong to homes where better quality prevails communication and greater satisfaction in intra-family ties are those who perceive more support from other people significant.

In other words, assertive communication within the family would influence the development of subsequent abilities to perceive greater affective availability in others and, consequently, increase their abilities to ask for help, being an ability to cultivate to take care of one's own mental health.

Do you want to train in Family Mediation?

If you are interested in the potential that effective communication has in family mediation and you are considering advancing your professional career in this field, we invite you to learn more about the Master in Family Mediation and Alternative Conflict Resolution from SERCA Institute. This online program will provide you with the tools, techniques, and theoretical framework you need to become an expert mediator. Click here to learn more and find out how you can start transforming lives through mediation today.