Abusive Relationships: a narcissist loving?

Danya started dating her boyfriend 4 months ago, at first everything was going well and they were very much in love, or so Danya saw it. Although she sometimes noticed some strange attitudes in him, which led to situations in which she felt bad and guilty about what happened, her boyfriend, curiously enough, always knew how to "make her feel better". In the last few weeks, things in Danya's life haven't been going so well, she doesn't know exactly why, but she feels very lonely, except when she's with her boyfriend.

On several occasions, she has realized that her life has been reduced only to her love relationship and that she has been losing contact with her friends and family.. Despite her personal problems, she feels that her courtship is going very well and when it is not like that, she feels guilty, because her boyfriend is in charge of holding her responsible for it.

Recently, they had a strong argument, in which her boyfriend made it clear that if her environment collapsed she was the culprit and he would be the only one who would support her, because according to what she mentioned, he is the only one that she really sees for herself. she. What Danya doesn't realize is that she gradually loses connection with her surroundings because of her boyfriend and her life is reduced to an abusive relationship in which she finds herself trapped.

Situations like the one above happen more often than you can imagine., because abusive relationships in which manipulation and dependency are involved are toxic for the vulnerable party. This article will address the generalities that narcissistic personality disorder presents.

• We recommend you read: "Emotional abuse: 30 signs that you should walk away from your partner"

What are abusive relationships?

At present, interpersonal relationships have changed according to the values ​​of each culture or region where they are developed; however, the essence of the estas continues to be the same. An interpersonal relationship refers to the bond that exists between two or more people based on the emotions, interests or feelings that they can share together (FIDE, 2022).

There are various types of interpersonal relationships, but they are all based on values ​​such as reciprocity, co-responsibility, etc. However, the interpersonal relationship that could be classified as one of the most important are the loving relationships (couples) in which the shared bond is based on love, attraction and I respect. Mentioned the above, when relationships do not have these bases and their development is forced by double intentions, either by one of the parties involved or by both, the relationship ceases to be healthy and becomes a abusive.

These types of relationships tend to have ups and downs, when they are healthy relationships, problems are always resolved without find guilty, because each one assumes her responsibilities and seek stability based on the good of both and the relationship. Co-responsibility and reciprocity are always the bases for solving problems. In the end, the values ​​and feelings that both people feel help to resolve the conflict. When the above does not happen in this way, it may mean that one of the parties does not have the appropriate tools to put what corresponds to them.

An abusive relationship can be seen in many ways and in several of them the abuse is not usually perceptible, but it is present and is reflected in the feelings of the victim. Almost as a rule, abusive relationships are made up of the abuser and the victim, rarely both are abusers, although it is the case.

The abuser is usually a controlling, emotionally abusive person, lacking in emotional intelligence and manipulative, For his part, the victim is usually a person who is easy to control or manipulate, submissive, innocent and out of focus. around. Relationships based on abuse can develop in a variety of ways, but usually they occur because one of those involved has narcissistic tendencies or suffers from personality disorder narcissistic.

How is it related to narcissism?

However, Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health disorder characterized by an unreasonably superior attitude. People who suffer from it constantly crave and seek attention, as well as admiration from others. They may have difficulty understanding or showing concern for the feelings of others.

Despite their apparent absolute self-confidence, in reality they do not feel safe and react easily to minimal criticism. This disorder has a negative impact on various aspects of life, such as interpersonal relationships, work, education, and finances. People with narcissistic personality disorder often experience unhappiness and disappointment when they are not given special favors or the admiration they think they deserve.

They may also perceive their relationships as conflicting and unsatisfying, and others may not enjoy their company. Treatment for narcissistic personality disorder focuses on talk therapy or psychotherapy.

This disorder affects men more often than women and usually manifests during adolescence or early adulthood. While some children may show traits of narcissism, this is typical of their stage of development. and does not necessarily imply that they will develop a narcissistic personality disorder in the future.

As mentioned above and added to the example of an abusive relationship, narcissistic people tend to have attitudes that affect the people around them. Their behavior is due to unresolved past traumas, they apply a kind of "mirror": that is, how they treat others they were treated. Their goal is to put the person down to continue their fantasy of superiority. Narcissists are dangerous people because of their ability to manipulate their environment at their convenience., in many cases this goes unnoticed and the violence they exert on their victims is apparently harmless.