Post-adoption depression: what it is, symptoms and how to deal with it

The arrival of a boy or girl into our lives is always a reason for happiness and joy. However, there are a series of factors that can interfere and deteriorate this feeling of well-being and although These feelings are usually associated with postpartum depression; they can also appear at the end of a pregnancy process. adoption.

These cases are known as post-adoption depression., a psychological alteration characterized by the emotional suffering of one of the two emotional parents of which we will talk throughout this article.

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What is post-adoption depression?

Post-adoption depression, or post-adoption depression syndrome, is a very little-known disorder that was described for the first time in 1995 by psychologist and adoption researcher June Bond.

Throughout his work, Bond noticed the effects that the adoption process has on the mental health of future adoptive parents and observed that on a large number of occasions, adopters experience feelings of acute sadness and anxiety that appear a few weeks after completing the adoption process. That is, shortly after the minor is already settled in her new home. He named this clinical condition post-adoption depression syndrome.

Although its symptoms are very similar to those of postpartum depression, which is already normalized and accepted as a possible temporary consequence to the new situation in which the person finds himself, post-adoption depression is surrounded by a high level of ignorance.

The reason is that, unlike the postpartum depression which is justified as a hormonal readjustment, This biological justification is not found in post-adoption depression. And, furthermore, society expects people to feel great happiness and satisfaction when seeing an adoption process carried out, something that in theory requires so much time and effort.

This makes many people feel ashamed and guilty of these feelings of sadness. and anxiety that invade them, so they decide to carry it out in silence and not resort to any type of aid. Besides, the feeling of incomprehension is also very characteristic of this alteration.

There are many people who experience these effects. In the same way, these symptoms do not appear out of nowhere, but rather have causes based on the interaction with the environment, and there are also a series of measures that the person can carry out to avoid it or remedy it.

What are the symptoms?

Unlike postpartum depression, which is typical of women, although there are also cases in which it has occurred in men, post-adoption depression tends to occur equally in both sexes. However, symptoms can vary between men and women. This phenomenon is associated with the influence of gender roles that are still strongly adhered to in different cultures.

In the case of women, they usually experience strong feelings of sadness, feeling tired and extreme fatigue, sleep problems and anhedonia or inability to experience interest or pleasure in activities previously considered satisfying.

All of these symptoms usually trigger a strong feeling of frustration and guilt, since the person He feels that he should be in a position of well-being and happiness and cannot understand why this is not the case.

Meanwhile, in men, post-adoption depression It usually manifests itself in the form of irritability and anger. Additionally, just like women, they also experience sleep problems and lack of interest in practically everything.

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What possible causes does it have?

Although there are not a large number of studies or research on post-adoption depression, they have been able to establish a series of factors or causes that lead to the appearance of the symptoms and feelings named previously.

In most cases, these causes are related to the generation of unrealistic expectations about what will happen after completing the adoption process, as well as the idealization of the role of father or mother. Furthermore, the long waiting periods to carry out an adoption favor this ideal imagination.

As a consequence, once the reality in which they find themselves is perceived, Parents may feel frustrated and guilty about their emotions. In the same way, it is common to want to form a strong and quick bond of love with the new member of the family, without knowing that this bond is a slow and laborious process that can take months.

Furthermore, the feeling of lack of understanding on the part of family and friends tends to enhance this feeling of guilt, since the usual thing is that the people around them do not understand why the parents do not feel happy for having fulfilled their dream.

How can it be faced?

First of all, it is necessary to be aware of the existence of post-adoption depression. Knowing it and accepting that it is possible to suffer from it will reduce the degree of surprise and frustration if it appears. Additionally, it will help the person prepare for the new emotions and feelings they may experience.

There are a series of very useful recommendations to face this new situation., as well as the appearance of the symptoms of post-adoption depression:

• Extend maternity and paternity leave to the maximum in order to have more time to form family ties.
• In the case of an adoption with a single adoptive parent, request the help of another person, friend or family member, who can help reduce the volume of tasks and provide emotional support.
• Carry out activities with the little one that strengthen the bond.
• Mentalize that for a while the little one will occupy practically 100% of the time, so you must be willing to sacrifice or pause other areas of life temporarily. However, it is essential to set aside some time for yourself.
• If it is a couple adoption process, it is necessary invest time in your relationship, since otherwise it may also be affected.
• Lose the fear of asking for professional help. Starting out in the role of father or mother involves a big change and an adaptation process, so the professional help of a psychologist can be essential.