Why do I feel all my emotions so intensely?

This is a question that frequently appears in sessions. “why am I so. intense?”. In these situations we always start by talking about the meaning of the emotions at an evolutionary level. As I mentioned in one of the previous articles, emotions are like car sensors, they warn us not to crash.

That is, they appear to give us the message of what is not good for us, what I need to grow, what should change in a situation, etc. These emotions are going to appear in response to what we are experiencing, whether it is something external (I have achieved a new work and feel happy about it), or something internal (I remember something unpleasant and feel angry or sadness).

Feel emotions very intensely

One of the biggest problems that usually appears is judgment, and that is that in most situations we do not want to feel. I shouldn't feel this way about "x" person who I feel doesn't value me, I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up. so much with this new relationship, I don't want the breakup with my partner to continue hurting me and a wide etc. Think about it, to a situation that is already unpleasant for ourselves we are adding extra anxiety or discomfort by not allowing ourselves enough space for the emotion to pass through.

Furthermore, judging ourselves and avoiding feeling emotions that we consider negative is not only not the way to not feel them, but it will cause them to get trapped, encapsulate, intensify and end up emerging in another form when you can no longer hold them further.

All of this may be making you think that you feel too much or that you are too intense. It is possible that you are not allowing yourself to feel unpleasant but necessary emotions to redirect our lives to a state that is more comfortable for us and not. Letting them out is accumulating for so long that when they come out, they do so in a rush.

Here I always give the example of the foam churrito with which we learn to swim, if I get on top and I go down as deep as possible. that I can, until you can't see it, the moment I lose my balance the churrito will shoot upwards and rise by. above the surface of the water, well, the same thing will happen with emotions.

Another possibility is that you are experiencing a particularly unpleasant, tense or stressful situation. So in this case the most adaptive thing is to feel with that intensity, since it adapts to what is happening. and will help us make quick decisions to get out of these potentially dangerous situations for we

It is possible that I am in an environment that does not validate me (or at least it feels that way) and therefore I have constant feedback that I do not I'm coherent, or that what I feel is too intense, or that maybe I shouldn't feel the way I feel in the situations I'm in. living.

In this case, look at the following example: if I start to get to know a person and I get excited about the possibility of generating a healthy relationship, it is It is normal that when I don't achieve it I feel sad or frustrated, but if my environment tells me that I am very intense or that I should not get excited so quickly at that emotion of sadness or anger we are going to add the anguish of not doing things well or of thinking that I do not know how to relate to the world in which I live at the moment.

Another option is that in my story there is some event that has been traumatic and it is generating that in certain situations my emotions have a strength above what we consider adaptive. For example, if I have suffered abuse as a woman, it is normal that in situations where I am alone with a man, anxiety and anxiety about going out or because someone appears to give me security. In this case it is important that I work on the traumatic event so that my life is not limited by it.

Finally, we cannot ignore the fact that lately we have seen very fashionable toxic positivism in networks. Here we will reject unpleasant emotions, understanding that the only way to be happy is to always keep ourselves in perspective. positive and repress those unpleasant emotions/thoughts that we feel are keeping us away from it. Here we will feel that something is wrong with us when these inevitably appear and we will again feel that it is not right to feel the way we feel.

In subsequent articles we will talk in more detail about each of the situations that we have discussed in this article. On the other hand, I recommend that, in any of the situations that we have mentioned previously, I would recommend yes. You currently feel that you have “fighted” with your emotions or that they overtake you or surpass you. When it comes to managing them, seek help from a mental health professional to help you understand yourself. better.