12 rules for a happy and fulfilling family life
Being able to live in harmony in the family environment is possible. The family should be a place where each member feels safe, understood, and supported. To achieve this you have to have a proper attitude and follow some rules to achieve a happy family life.
Although each member of the family has to do their part, the pillars of the family unit are the parents. On them falls the responsibility of guiding the children and filling the environment in the house with harmony and love.
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We give you the 12 rules to have a happy family
For there to be home warmth, there must be a sense of harmony in the family. However, a balance must be struck between a comfortable environment where everyone feels comfortable, while respecting the rules and assuming the consequences of ignoring them.
During the last decades, many experts in family psychology and sociology have dedicated themselves to studying what factors help families to live happily and to be functional. From all these studies, we have extracted these twelve fundamental rules.
Getting this is not that difficult. It is enough to objectively observe those aspects that could be failing and be willing to make small changes to have a long, happy and full family life.
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1. Effective communication
The main key to any personal relationship is communication. But, in the case of the family, you have to be careful how it flows. Parents should be careful not to carry out a one-sided communication that does not include or consider the opinion or needs of their children.
Listen to them with attention, respect and empathy it is part of effective communication. All family members should feel confident that they can talk, especially about issues important, with the certainty that they will be listened to with attention and their needs will be attended conveniently.
2. Clear limits and rules
The rules allow a better coexistence for a happy family life. Just as you need sufficient openness for good communication, you also need to establish clear, consistent rules and limits that are known to all.
Limits are essential to create an environment of respect. These limits are transmitted through the rules, which are established according to the customs, habits and beliefs of each family. A family that has clear rules reinforces the value of consistency and the assumption of responsibilities.
3. Flexibility
For the rules to be respected, there must be flexibility. Although it is the parents who must discuss and decide together what the rules will be, always there must be a willingness to listen to the other members and consider the possibility of modifying any rule.
That is why open communication is important, because it is through this tool that you will have the facility to understand and determine if there are any rules that can be reconsidered or if instead you should follow as this.
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4. Clarity and consistency
Rules must be clear and consistent. That is, they must be understood and parents must make sure that their children really know what those rules consist of. In addition, there must be consistency and consistency.
Consistency refers to the fact that the rules must be in tune with the beliefs and habits of the family and the parents themselves. We cannot demand something that we ourselves do not believe or do not do. In addition, these rules must be valid at all times and for all family members equally, to avoid losing coherence.
5. Set the example
Parents' main job is to lead by example. It is not enough to talk to children or punish them for misbehavior, what most impacts their lives is the example that we set in our way of acting from day to day.
If we look to our children for discipline, good habits and daily effort, we ourselves must have that attitude to daily situations. Especially in the first years of life, this is more impressive and generates more learning significant that all the long explanations and even punishments that can be given for a wrong behaviour.
6. I respect
Respect is a fundamental pillar to achieve harmony in our personal relationships. We all want to have a happy and fulfilling family life, and respect must be present at all times and in all directions.
In other words, at the same time that the youngest children are taught to be respectful with adults and with their peers, parents and older siblings must also exercise that respect at all times.
7. Nonviolence
Physical violence must be eliminated if a happy family life is to be achieved. If hitting is unacceptable between parents, it should also be towards children. This method of parenting and education has been shown not to produce good results and cause psychological conflicts in the short, medium and long term.
Although it is believed that with the little ones it is valid to distribute slaps or slaps to educate, the truth is that it only generates resentment, fear, guilt or sadness that over time can end up breaking the emotional bond between parents and children.
8. Emotional intelligence
Developing emotional intelligence practically ensures a happy family. Manage emotions It can be one of the most complex situations that human beings can face.
In the case of children, it is even more complicated, since they are just in the process of learning how to do it. It is the responsibility of parents to teach minors the correct management of emotions, which develops an emotional intelligence that will be of great help in their adult life.
9. Affection is not denied
Human beings need to feel loved and accepted. And affection should not be an object of exchange or blackmail for good or bad attitudes. That is, even when the attitude was not correct, if the person requests affection, he should not refuse.
This is especially important in children. Even when a behavior is punished, there is no reason to deny a hug or comfort, especially if the other person asks for it. Doing otherwise creates mistrust and feelings of loneliness.
10. Quality time
Spending time with the family should be a priority. Although sometimes the long work hours or the activities of each family member can make this difficult, spending time with the family should always be a priority.
This time is needed to bond, open communication, and do activities together. It doesn't matter that you don't spend a lot of time together, the important thing is that when you do, you pay attention to each other and take the opportunity to chat and do activities together. This is what is known as quality time: it is not necessary to be together 24 hours a day, but the hours that possible, attention, effort and communication must be devoted to forging ties and improving trust between everyone.
11. Live unique experiences
In addition to quality time, you have to look for moments that generate unforgettable experiences. A vacation, a weekend to a fun place, an unforgettable party, are activities that can be done as a family with the aim of creating unique moments.
It is best to spend these experiences only as a family. That is, preferably they do not include distant friends or family. The goal is for them to become memories that generate a feeling of intimacy and belonging, since they only involve you.
12. Stay tuned
To achieve a happy and fulfilling family life, do not lower your guard. Every stage in children's growth is unique, different and presents new challenges. It is important to remain receptive to changes in order to make the necessary adjustments in family life.
Rules, limits, and needs are sure to change over time. For this reason, it is necessary to be attentive and sensitive to be able to determine when each thing should change for the benefit of the entire family environment.
Bibliographic references
Estrada, L. (2003). The life cycle of the family. Mexico: Grijalbo.
John Paul II Institute for the Family (2002). Memories of the 3rd National Congress of the Family. Mexico: Castillo Editions.
Vázquez de Prada, Mercedes (2008). Contemporary family history. Rialp.