The 4 differences between loving and loving a person

Wanting and loving are words that we normally use without clearly understanding their meaning and what each of these words implies, because although sometimes we believe that they are similar, there is a big difference between wanting and loving.

When we understand the language we use, it becomes a tool to express what we truly feel. If we say that we love or love a personAre we saying what that person really makes us feel? This is why it is essential that we know the difference between wanting and loving, we explain it to you.

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What does it mean to want?

In our relationships a series of intense sensations appear towards the other person who are transforming and, in this sense, defining the difference between loving and loving someone. This is why we often confuse these two words, so let's start by defining each of the feelings.

The RAE defines wanting as “wanting or pretending [something]” and “feeling affection or love for [someone]”. They also define wanting as a verb that means "having the desire, the will or the intention to do, possess or achieve something." If we take these definitions we can highlight some

fundamental concepts to understand what it means to want: wanting implies a feeling of affection or love added to the desire and the will to possess something, or, in the case of relationships, someone.

When we start a love relationship, we have gone out a couple of times and we are beginning our stage of falling in love and defining the relationship, the feeling that appears is that of wanting. At this moment, we know that there is a higher than normal feeling towards that person and that we want it in the sense of possession of this word.

Namely, we want that person who accelerates our hearts to be oursWe want to have their company, their attention, their affection, and that feeling towards the other person becomes a kind of objective; here lies the difference between wanting and loving.

As the book The Little Prince explains, “to want is to take possession of something, of someone. It is looking for in others that which fulfills personal expectations of affection, of company. To want is to make our own what does not belong to us, it is to own or wish for something to complete ourselves, because at some point we recognize ourselves ”.

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What does it mean to love?

Now let's give meaning to the word love. You will see that, with the two definitions, you will realize the difference between wanting and loving.

The RAE defines the verb to love as “having love for someone or something”. A very specific definition that leads us to look for another meaning: what is love? According to the RAE, love is "the intense feeling of the human being that, starting from his own insufficiency, needs and seeks the meeting and union with another being". A "feeling towards another person that naturally attracts us and that, seeking reciprocity in the desire for union, we complete, happy and gives energy to live together, communicate and create "or" feeling of affection, inclination and dedication to someone or something".

So, under these definitions we can highlight the concepts that define loving someone: when we love our partner, we have already stopped wanting that person to be ours and in total freedom of both, we surrender to her because we need it, because we generate an encounter and a bond that completes us and makes us happy. Loving is built with time and it happens when we have passed that stage of falling in love in which we love each other.

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The 4 differences between loving and loving someone

Now that we have defined wanting and loving, you already know their main difference, however, we are going to go into more detail on this difference so that, if you don't know if you love or love your partner, have a series of clues to help you define it.

1. Wanting and loving mean something different

When we love a person we feel affection towards her somewhat stronger than normal and we have a feeling of possession, we want it to be ours. When we love that person, we no longer want him to be ours, we need him and we give ourselves to him.

2. The signs of wanting or loving are different

You can also realize the difference between wanting and loving from the signs. If you're experiencing all the signs of infatuation, that is, you need to see that person all the time, you are on the phone every minute to find out about them and what you are doing, you have a high sex drive, your judgment is doubtful and you make decisions more at the light; these and others are signs of loving a person.

On the other side, if what you feel is a trust and absolute loyalty to that person, patience in the times of each one, you are willing to make sacrifices for her, to think about her needs, you have the willingness to accept all of her and to fix the differences that may arise, then we are talking about that you love that person.

3. Loving and loving don't feel the same

There is another type of feelings around wanting or loving that can also tell us what we truly feel for the person we are with.

In principle we can associate a feeling of euphoria to the stage in which we love that person, that kind of excitement and that smile on our face that does not fade, that brings infatuation with it and that can make us think that we love the other person although this is not real yet. But feelings of anxiety or emptiness can also appear depending on how the relationship with this person develops.

The emotions instead are deeper when we love, because we feel much more free to let those feelings surface. Affection, trust, stability, happiness and loyalty are a fundamental part of loving. We accept the other as he is and as he is, that is why love is unconditional. In addition, at this time there is communication between the two and the desire to face the problems that may arise as a couple.

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4. Temporality is different

It may seem a bit strange to you, but temporality is also part of the difference between wanting and loving. In wanting, time is now, it is the immediate moment in which we are falling in love and which, in some cases, can begin quickly. The truth is wanting does not always evolve and is a temporary feeling that can disappear.

With love it is different, because it is a process that takes place gradually over time. You do not need the immediate moment because when you love, you have already overcome that stage of falling in love, and it is a feeling that grows over time and can even last a lifetime. Of course, it is clear that nobody knows what the future holds but in your present, you feel that unconditional love like an infinite love that it cannot do anything else but continue to grow.

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