Libido: what it is and 4 keys to understanding female sexual desire

There is a word to refer in general terms to sexual desire that each person has: libido. It happens that our libido does not always stay at the same level and just as we have moments in which we cannot stop thinking about sex, we have others in which it does not even cross our minds.

Libido increases and decreases according to physical factors and external situations that put us in the mood or decrease our sexual desire. To understand it better, we explain how the female libido works and how it can be increased.

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What is libido

Libido is the term that both psychoanalysis and medicine in general use to refer to people's sexual desire. A word that comes from the Latin ‘libido’ and that means desire, hence we have baptized sexual desire as libido.

There are many theories and myths around sexual desire and libido, because, as with everything, each person is different and therefore has their own ways of feeling desire. However, there are certain things that we agree on and that is that

male libido and female libido work totally differently; Hence, in some couples it seems that men are always willing to have sex while women are not so willing, although this is not necessarily always the case.

The person responsible for our feeling sexual desire in both men and women is the hypothalamus. It is in this part of the brain where our libido originates, due to a chain of chemical reactions that make us willing and wanting to have sex.

These chemical reactions that produce libido are led by an increase in the level of testosterone (found in both men and women) and some other hormones. But in the case of us women, and unlike the male libido, that is not the only factor.

The female libido in addition to the hormonal part that our body needs to feel sexual desireIt also needs a certain emotional stability in us so that it remains at normal levels or rises; this has been shown by several studies. And when we talk about emotional stability we are not saying that women mix sex with love, because that is just another myth around female sexuality.

What influences the female libido

It turns out that the female libido is not only awakened by the increase in certain hormones, although these are necessary. There are several other factors that increase libido Or, on the contrary, that they cause us to have a diminished sexual appetite. Knowing everything about our sexual desire is important because, knowing how it works, you can also understand how to increase libido.

1. Hormones and sexual desire

Testosterone and estrogens are the main hormones of sexual desire and therefore libido. However, our hormone levels change during the menstrual cycle, so our libido increases or decreases with it.

For example, the days before ovulation our libido is through the roof because it is in this phase of the menstrual cycle when we have more estrogen in the body. Quite the opposite can happen for example after giving birth, because at this time the hormone that we secrete is prolactin, and this is characterized by lowering libido.

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2. Emotional well-being is the key

All the different studies that have been done on female libido have concluded that our libido increases or decreases, not only with our menstrual cycle, but according to our well-being emotional; when we feel good, our emotional state influences our libido much more than the same testosterone.

This means that when we are in moments when we feel generally satisfied with our relationship and with ourselves, our libido increases. There is a fundamental difference here, and that is that emotional well-being does not necessarily mean that there is love or a stable partner; This emotional well-being has to do with our relationship with ourselves, our security, self-love and with the way we feel our life is.

At the same time, it is possible that when we go through difficult situations, moments of great stress or we are not very satisfied with ourselves, our libido decreases.

3. Some birth control methods lower libido

The female libido can be considerably affected by the use of some contraceptive methods, as these decrease the level of estrogens so that ovulation does not occur and therefore suppress one of the desire hormones. In this sense, we must also take into account that they affect each woman differently.

Additionally, remember that emotional well-being is even more important than the hormones themselves to feel sexual desire. Some other medications can also be the reason for your low libido, such as antidepressants.

4. How we live our sexual relationships

The ideas we have about sex and the way we live our sex lives also influence our libido. Our brain and mind have a lot to do with the level of sexual desire we feel, and the attitude that we have towards sex has a direct impact on whether we have a high libido or a low libido.

Can you increase female libido?

Luckily, we can increase female libido, although for this we must work our mind. When we go through difficult moments or situations, it is important to work on them to clear the mind so that they do not appear at the time of sex. But also, the mind must be stimulated, especially when libido is low. Some erotic books or erotic movies can help you increase your imagination and fantasies; and with it, increase libido.

But more important than any other advice to increase libido, is that you know yourself and know what you like sexually. That you feel safe and calm about who you are at the time of sex and that you can guide your partner in what gives you pleasure. Many times the libido decreases because we do not understand each other sexually with the partner, but sometimes this lack of understanding is because we ourselves do not know what we like.

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