7 tips to overcome a separation

Are you in a process of separation? If you are, convulsive times will surely come ... It is not easy to say goodbye to someone we have loved and with whom we have shared part of our life. However, sometimes it is a decision as painful as it is necessary.

In this article we propose 7 tips to overcome a separation, which although they will not avoid discomfort and pain associated with it, can help you take the first steps to feel a little better and face this new situation.

• Recommended article: "The 6 phases to overcome a love breakup"

Separations

Separations are never easy; come loaded with complicated and painful moments. When we separate from someone and end a romantic relationship, the emotions that experience can vary a lot, depending on whether we have been the ones who have completed the relationship, or the other way around.

In both cases, however, there is usually marked suffering, since we must reorganize our life, our day to day and, many times, even our future project. We have to start thinking about a life without that person.

In this article we will focus on separations, whether after getting married or simply with a domestic or long-term partner.

How to overcome a separation? There is no magic formula, since each person will live it in their own way, and will follow their absolutely individual and personal process. However, we have thought of 7 tips to overcome a separation that can help us to start to get out of the pothole.

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7 tips and strategies to overcome a separation

We propose you 7 tips to overcome a separation, although each person will decide how to face this vital event, and how you can adapt these tips to your life or your needs.

Facing something like this implies a complex and particular process, which each person will try to carry out as best they can or know how. In this sense, the coping styles of each one will play a very important role. Now, let's see these tips:

1. Face the loss

It seems obvious, or even simple, but it is not at all. It is the first step we must do: face the situation, what has just happened, and accept that this has been. Logically, reconciliations exist, and there are couples who try again.

However, we cannot base ourselves on something in the future that we do not know if it will come, so we are going to focus on the present, which is one of the few things that is certain at the moment. We have separated from our, so far, partner.

Let's face the situation, let's avoid avoiding excessively with substances, addictions, purchases compulsive... Over time, running away from pain only returns it to us in other ways, but what I don't know face returns.

2. Delete the contact

The second of the 7 tips to overcome a separation is to eliminate contact with the other person. Unless you have children in common, and you must maintain contact yes or yes, it is better that you eliminate contact with your ex-partner, at least initially.

This will help you to face the situation in a realistic way, to gradually assume the new reality and "Detoxify" from dependency towards that person. So, remove your ex partner from the networks, avoid contacting her and hide (or throw away) the photos and memories that you have in sight.

3. Try to disconnect

Although it is necessary that you gradually face the new situation, and that you get used to the idea, listening to what you feel, etc., It is also good to disconnect from the situation at times.

So, try to find moments of disconnection and relief, and make a point of clearing your mind or thinking about other things. You can do it through different activities:

3.1. Yoga or meditation

Yoga or meditation are very positive practices when we want to relax our body, drive away negative thoughts and focus on the present moment. They allow you to connect with yourself and achieve physical and mental relaxation. For this it is important to learn the breathing exercises well, especially those proposed by yoga.

3. 2. Sport

Sport is another very beneficial activity when we want to release tension, in addition to allowing you to decentralize your attention and energy from the pain and negative thoughts in which you surely find yourself due to the separation.

Another benefit of sport is that it enhances the release of endorphins, the "hormones of happiness", which increase your physical and mental well-being. Furthermore, we all know that sport is good for health, and this includes mental health; on the other hand, it helps reduce stress and anxiety, and can even be very favorable to combat feelings or depressive states.

3.3. Hobbies

Surely you have a hobby, something that you are passionate about, an activity that you like to do. It is likely that, in the initial moments of the separation, you do not have much desire to do things, and that you feel apathy.

However, it is important that you stay active and do not give up on the things you like (ba) do. There are many activities that you can do, for example courses of all kinds (writing, drawing, cooking ...). In addition, they do not have to be courses or classes, they can be activities that you simply like to do in your free time, at specific times.

4. Talk to someone

Another of the 7 tips to overcome a separation is talk to someone you trust. It is the moment to support yourself in your loved ones; let them take care of you and help you cope with this process.

Call a friend or family member if you need it, arrange to have a drink, explain how you feel if you see yourself prepared... words heal, they have a lot of power, and it is good to let off steam.

5. Connect with what you feel

In the same way that we said that it is good to disconnect, it is also good to connect with your emotions. It will surely be a stage full of changes at the level of routines and also at the level of emotions.

That is why you should try to listen to yourself, give yourself what you need at all times and cry when you feel you need it. All emotions have their function, both good and bad: don't run away from them, listen to them.

6. Stay away from victimhood

It is normal for many people to feel “victims” of the situation, or “victims” of the harm caused by the other person. They are natural feelings that must be processed; however, try not to settle into victimhood, because it won't help you. You will not feel better about it, on the contrary.

So, even if you consider that the situation has been unfair, accept that all stages and situations follow their process and that there are things that we can never control or avoid. The separations, sometimes, are of these things.

7. Assume separation from your environment

The last of the 7 tips to overcome a separation that we propose is the following: assume the separation also with the environment of our (ex) partner. Is a reality; When we separate from someone, we also separate ourselves from their environment (family, friends ...).

In the initial moments, especially, it will be better that you also eliminate contact with that environment. Many times it will be inevitable that you also stop seeing these people, and it is not easy because generally strong bonds are created with the people around our (ex) partner. However, it is part of the grieving process, saying goodbye to these people as well.

Bibliographic references

• Aragon, R.S. and Cruz, R.M. (2014). Causes and characterization of the stages of romantic grief. Psychological Research Act, 4 (1): 1329-1343.

• Cáceres, C., Manhey, C. and Vidal, C. (2009). Separation, loss and grief of the couple: Essential reflections for a divorce therapy. On families and therapy, 17 (27): 41-60.

• Tizón, J. (2004). Loss, grief, grief. Experiences, research and assistance. Mental Health Issues. Vidal i Barraquer Foundation. Paidós Editions.