Do couples with a large age difference usually work?

We can fall in love at any stage of life, but there are concerns whenever the age difference between the participants in the relationship is noticeable. Everything concerning relationships is full of romanticism and concepts full of idealism.

In reality, for a relationship to work, many factors intervene, which sometimes go beyond the people who make it up. If one of the most important aspects is age, can couples with a large age difference function well?

If couples are many years apart, are they doomed to failure?

The popular belief is that couples with a marked age difference simply do not work.. And this could be very true if you consider that in reality, the viability of a stable partner responds to a number of factors, including age.

Nevertheless, age alone is not a determining factor for a love relationship to work or fail, even if there are considerations about continued coexistence with someone that takes us many years. We explain what factors exist and can play a relevant role in this type of relationship.

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How big is a big age difference?

The first point to analyze is what do they mean with a wide age difference. For some people, the ideal relationship occurs when the man is 3-5 years ahead of the woman. Others consider that they should be carried no more than two years.

In the West it is said that it is not a good idea to be with someone who is less than half our age plus seven years. For example, if we are 38 years old, we should not be with someone under 26. This could be a valid (albeit arbitrary) parameter to determine if a couple have been with each other for many years.

If a couple has been with each other for more than 10 years, is it possible that they can have a successful relationship? Do they have a chance to prosper? Can they last for many years together or does it only function as something temporary? We comment here on the general expectation of this type of relationship.

1. Social judgments

An obstacle faced by couples with great age differences is social judgments. It is a subject that continues to be complex and taboo, so couples expose themselves to mistrust, especially by family and friends of the respective.

This is even more noticeable if the woman is older than the man. Despite growing gender equity, this is an issue where women are not judged in the same way as men. The best known recent case is that of President Emmanuel Macron, 41, and his wife, Brigitte Trogneux, 66.

2. Different objectives

The goals we have vary according to the decade in which we find ourselves. This is very common because during our 20's we yearn for very different things than when we are already in our 40's or more.

This can cause conflicts if there is not correct communication and adequate empathy.. The goals of the two are just as important and although the older one has already been there and could downplay it, if they want everything to work out, you must empathize and understand who's plans younger.

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3. Living with their offspring

If one or both have children, age can make the matter more complex. Especially when the children are roughly the same age range as the younger couple, this creates conflict for everyone involved.

Without a doubt it is a delicate subject, because when children feel invaded by a new relationship of their father or mother and this is also their age, it usually generates confusion and conflict in the case of a stage that is sometimes complex to overcome.

4. Energy

In the youth stage you have a lot of energy to carry out many plans and activities. It is undoubtedly one of the best characteristics of young people. They have the drive and energy to do many things and they never seem to tire.

But as the years go by, the energy is no longer the same. Hardly someone over 40 could keep up with a person 20. Working, partying, exercising, studying and traveling are activities that could be limited by not combining the rhythms of both.

5. Health

In general, people we tend to get sicker the older we get. Although this is not a decisive rule, there are certain conditions that statistically appear more frequently after the age of 30.

While many young people are in very good health that allows them to do everything without stopping. But if your partner continually has aches or pains, this could be a deterrent. As long as there is understanding on both sides, this is something that could be overcome.

6. Privacy

Another fundamental aspect to consider is the relationship that occurs at the intimate level. Sexual performance changes with advancing age. It not only has to do with energy and vitality, but with the concepts about what sex life means.

This could be a more relevant problem if the woman is older than the man. However, in any of the cases there are solutions to be able to equalize the circumstances and achieve full sexual satisfaction.

7. Have children

If one does not have children and is of an age to have them while the other does not, the subject can complicate the relationship. This occurs when one of the two is very young, while the other part of the relationship is nearing the end of its reproductive life.

Although men can have children even though they are older, it may be that they are simply not willing to have more children. Although at first it seems that it can be overcome, in many cases over time it becomes an insurmountable border for the relationship.