12 keys to knowing if you have a healthy romantic relationship

There is a lot of talk about toxic relationshipsBut what about healthy romantic relationships? Is it enough that a relationship is not toxic for it to be healthy?

Not; To do this, the relationship must have a series of “extra” characteristics, although these may logically vary slightly in each couple.

How do we know if we are in a healthy relationship? Do you sometimes feel things that do not fit in the relationship and you have doubts? In this article We propose 12 keys to know if you have a healthy romantic relationship, although there are many more.

What is a healthy relationship and what is a toxic relationship?

Before commenting on the 12 keys to know if you have a healthy romantic relationship, We are going to briefly explain what a healthy relationship consists of and when it is not.. We could say that the opposite extreme would be a toxic relationship.

Fundamentally, a relationship is healthy when it makes us feel good and improves our lives. It is as simple as: the relationship makes us happy, and we are more so than being alone.

Instead, A toxic relationship is one that makes us suffer and that, however, we feel unable to leave. In this second case, we are not in line with what we really want, and there is something "in there" that knows it.

12 keys to healthy romantic relationships

Now that we've done the little nuance to differentiate a healthy relationship from a toxic relationship, We are going to know 12 keys to know if you have a healthy romantic relationship and constructive.

1. You are happy in the relationship

The first of the 12 keys to knowing if you have a healthy romantic relationship is to ask yourself: Are you happy in this relationship? Obviously, there will always be obstacles, difficulties and problems at some point or another in the relationship, but that does not mean that you cannot be happy in it.

So, if the answer to this question (like this, without thinking much) is yes, it is a good indication that the relationship is healthy.

2. You feel in harmony

When we are in a healthy relationship for our physical and mental health, we are in harmony within the relationship (in moments of being with the couple and in moments of being without them). That is, we feel calm, at peace, and we feel that that relationship and what we feel in it are in harmony or in coherence with what we want.

3. You don't depend on the other person

There is always a certain degree of dependency in romantic relationshipsBut beware, a healthy dependency is not the same as a toxic dependency (and in between these two extremes, there are also degrees).

Thus, it is normal for there to be a small dependence on the couple that, on the other hand, "makes possible" the relationship, since this is based on a commitment and a connection between two people who have decided to be together.

However, if we can't do anything without the other person, we are not in a healthy relationship. On the other hand, if we feel free and independent to do what we want without having to do it with the other person, that is one of the keys to know if you have a romantic relationship healthy.

4. Jealousy has no prominence

Jealousy hide a low self-esteem and an insecurity in those who suffer them. It is not true that "if he is jealous it is because he loves me"; the most appropriate phrase that would reflect a healthy romantic relationship would be "if he does not want to lose me but still, he knows that I am not in his possession, it means that he loves me."

5. You don't suffer

Very in relation to the previous keys to know if you have a healthy sentimental relationship, we find this one: the relationship does not cause you suffering. This means that, in general, you are calm in the relationship, and that there are no behaviors of the other person (or problems within the relationship) that generate excessive anxiety or discomfort (except in moments punctual).

6. You feel reciprocated

Another key is the following: You love the other person very much and also, you feel that this love is reciprocal, that is, reciprocated. You do not feel that you are more in love than the other person, or if you do, it is only in specific moments that do not transcend.

7. You feel that the two of you contribute to the relationship

The next key to knowing if you have a healthy romantic relationship is feeling that the two members of the couple contribute things to the relationship, and that there is no imbalance. This does not mean that there are no moments in which one contributes more, or gives more, or becomes more involved, but, in general, both parties contribute.

8. You spend time on other things

If in addition to dedicating time to the relationship, you dedicate time to other things in your life, it is a sign that you are in a healthy relationship.

Thus, spending time with family, friends, work, hobbies, studies, etc., more Beyond the couple, it indicates that your relationship is healthy, since it can be nourished by other facets of your lifetime. Imagine just being with your partner all day... Do you think you could contribute something to each other?

9. The relationship is built on trust

Another key to knowing if you have a healthy romantic relationship is known by answering the following two questions: Do you trust your partner? And she in you? If the answers are yes, it is another sign that shows that the relationship is healthy. Trust is one of the pillars of romantic relationships, which allows you to act with freedom and respect for the other.

10. You are sincere with each other (or with each other)

Sincerity, along with trust and other values, are part of healthy romantic relationships. If you do not lie to your partner about important issues, nor she to you, it means that you can be calm with the another person, since he does not hide anything from you and trusts you to solve possible problems that may Appear.

11. Communication is fluid and respectful

Communication is a fundamental factor in a relationship, as well as another key to know if you have a healthy romantic relationship; Through it we express our wishes to our partner, but also our fears and our doubts.

If this communication does not exist within the relationship, it may happen that important issues are not discussed; what's more, it is essential that it is fluid and respectful. How we communicate with our partner reflects what our relationship is like.

12. There is mutual respect

Beyond communication, behavior with our partner should also be based on respect. Thus, in addition to verbally addressing our partner with respect, we must also treat her well in every way (and she treats us). In this way, respect becomes another key to knowing if you have a healthy romantic relationship.

Bibliographic references

• Paz, J.I. (2010). Healthy Relationships and Partnerships: How to Enjoy Sex and Love. Junta de Andalucía, Ministry of Health.

• Riso, W. (1999). Love or depend? Editorial Planeta. Barcelona.