What would you dare to do if you weren't afraid?

Lack of confidence, fear of failure and self-doubt are sensations that assail us at different times in our lives, preventing us from giving the best of ourselves.

Why do they arise? Can we do something to overcome them? And most importantly: What would we be able to do if we weren't afraid?

Loss of confidence

There are many reasons that can promote insecurity in people, causing them to lose confidence in themselves and their abilities. However, five of them are usually more frequent. We describe them below.

1. Expectations too high

The perfectionism, like any other human quality, it is adequate in its proper measure. While it is good to try to increase our achievements and improve ourselves as people, being satisfied with our results can never be a problem.

2. Judging yourself too harshly

Many people have a tendency to judge and criticize, find the negative and make bad predictions about one's abilities. For this reason, they can sometimes become convinced that they are not good enough at what they do, or that they lack the necessary qualities to achieve that competence.

3. Worry about fear

Everyone has fears and fears. However, this is not a problem. Giving too much importance to our fears or worrying excessively about them can, however, limit our lives.

4. Lack of experience

The little practice in a certain area reduces the probability of feeling calm at the time of carrying it out. If we do not have confidence in our abilities and capacities we will feel a strong fear to carry out a certain activity.

5. Lack of skills

As it is intuitive, it is not natural to feel confident about doing something unless we consider ourselves good at it.

How to improve your self-confidence

While our previous skills and experiences forge the "cushion of confidence", it will be our actions (despite being unreliable) those that little by little offer us peace of mind and certainty in our competence. What would we be able to do if we weren't afraid of failing?

The trainer in Acceptance and commitment therapy Russ harris reveals four steps in the trust cycle to achieve consolidation:

1. Practice skills

You learn to swim by swimming. Fishing, fishing. It does not matter to know the theory, to achieve skill in an area we have to practice it. If you avoid challenging situations, you will never be able to test or improve your own skills.

2. Apply them effectively

In order to develop adequately in what we are doing we need to be able to focus on it, which in psychology is called mindfulness. If we get caught up in our thoughts or feelings, we will not be fully involved in the task, so we will lose effectiveness in it and our results will get worse.

3. Evaluate the results

The human tendency to perfectionism leads us to want to do everything quickly and well. Non-judgmental self-examination and comprehensive self-motivation are the proper way to provide feedback..

4. Make the necessary changes

Modify the actions that lead us to errorsDepending on the results obtained, it helps us improve our results, thus increasing our performance.

Basic rules of trust

The trust gap is where one gets caught when fear gets in the way of our dreams and ambitions. So is fear bad?

It is common to hear that it is a sign of weakness that reduces our performance in what we undertake. However, it is not true. Trust does not consist in the absence of fear, but in a different relationship with it. As it points Eleanor Roosevelt: "We gain strength, courage and confidence in each experience in which we decide to look fear head-on. The danger is in refusing to face it, in not daring. "

And it is that, as the first rule of trust from Harris, acts of trust come first, feelings second. If we want to grow and develop as human beings we have to take risks outside of our familiar territory (known as comfort zone) and into the unknown.

Despite what we may think, we should not wait to feel confident to act, or we can wait a lifetime. And you? What would you dare to do if you weren't afraid?

Bibliographic references:

• Harris, R. (2012). Question of confidence. From fear to freedom. Santander: Sal Terrae.