Constantly Judging People: Why They're All Grudges

One of the aspects of today's society is that we now have more means of observing each other. The Internet and social networks have made there is a lot of information published about each person and it is very easy to meet pieces of people that we have never even spoken to.

Most people have learned to adapt to this change by trying to use it to their advantage: that is, seeing it as an opportunity to reach more people, expand friendships or seek employment and business options. Regardless of whether we want to make use of these kinds of tools, the option is there, and in any case, it is not seeks to harm anyone: only to improve oneself in some aspect through the way of relating to the rest.

However, there are those who see social relationships from an opposite perspective. Instead of taking advantage of the many ways to connect with others that the present offers us, prefer to spend much of their free time expressing negative attitudes about people who surrounds. It's about people who constantly judge and criticize others.

and systematic. In this article we will talk about why they act this way and how we can learn from them about how not to focus our personal relationships.

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This is how people who judge others are

Let's start with the basics: how to recognize in your day to day people who are always criticizing others? Among the characteristics and habits that define them, the most typical are the following (they do not occur all at once in all cases, obviously).

1. They want to seduce others through criticism

It may sound contradictory, but the habit of always judging others can serve to establish informal bonds between people. Bonds that are similar to friendship.

How does this happen? On the one hand, always going against others but at the same time having a relationship with a person suggests the idea that that person is better than the vast majority. By default, the fact that someone who always criticizes others tolerates our presence and even seems to enjoy it can make us feel good.

On the other hand, the fact of meaning judged by someone close to us, added to the above, makes that we believe that this person who always criticizes can help us to detect our weaknesses, with which it will be easier to defeat them. The reasoning is as follows: others do not have the opportunity to be around someone who is correcting them, but we do, so we must be privileged.

Something that indicates that this is a subtle form of manipulation is the fact that although vexatious comments or attempts at ridicule are frequent (which is supposed to would have to help us to recognize our own failures), the idea that the person who throws those daggers at us also helped us overcome these assumptions is unimaginable blemishes.

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2. They are unable to focus a discussion on the arguments

When it comes to discussing a topic constructively, people accustomed to judging tend to direct your comments towards negative characteristics which supposedly presents the opposite as a person: the ad hominem fallacy is their downfall, even if they were initially defending the correct option.

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3. They use any excuse to ridicule

A risky style, an action that deviates slightly from social conventions, or an opinion that simply does not match your own they are reasons for mockery or to be used to "read the mind" of that person and attribute all kinds of intelligence or personality imperfections.

These comments can be more or less ingenious depending on the case, but what is clear is that they are not relevant and speak about characteristics or very irrelevant facts.

4. In social networks, little subtlety criticizing

On the Internet, people who habitually judge others they feel they have the extra protection of anonymity, so they take the opportunity to unleash their cruelty. That means that they leave all kinds of derogatory comments, in full view of the world, knowing that the negative impact of this type of publications is more noticeable: everyone can know who is the target of criticism, but it is not very clear who emits.

In addition, as the Internet is usually a place where avoiding a rational discussion or debate does not have a high cost (unlike a face-to-face dialogue, in which it is always clear who wants to stop intervening) these criticisms are simple and unsophisticated, since they do not have to lead to an exchange of opinions. They are little more than insults that are lengthened through several words placed forming a sentence.

Why do they criticize so much?

There are many reasons that can lead a person to constantly criticize others, but several of them are especially frequent. The main one is that judging another in a superficial way is an easy and simple way to feel superior to someone and, by comparison, feel better about yourself.

When one of these people formulates a thought aimed at sinking another person (either pronouncing it in out loud or keeping it to herself), she is actually trying to temporarily escape the ruin that is her own self-esteem.

The most negative thing about these people is not what happens when they think in negative or degrading terms about someone else, since these kinds of ideas are so simple and not very elaborate that nobody has to take them in I laughed. The most negative is what is happening during the rest of the time in your own mind, that is, the reign of a resentment that totally subdues the self-esteem.

In the same way that those who obsessively think about an idea that causes them anxiety desperately try to seek distractions, such as binge eating, the drug use or even cuts to the skin, there are those who try to rescue their self-image for a brief moment by creating the fiction that they are far above someone more.

That is why, at a time when the fight of egos is the order of the day, it is important not to take as normal those outbursts of contempt for others with which some people try to make themselves known to others and to themselves. Who needs to throw darts at others to stay afloat is clearly showing that he has nothing to offer and that he only has to ask for help.