Dealing with Difficult and Disobedient Children: 7 Practical Tips

It is a fact that childhood it seems like a stage specially designed to build human beings with little attachment to social norms and taking responsibility.

It makes sense that this is the case, since at this moment in life it is more important to know what the world is like than to learn to fit perfectly in it, since it is not yet fully known. However, This can mean that in many parts of the world there are millions of adults dealing with young people who need rules to live. but at the same time they are very reluctant to follow them.

How to educate a complicated child?

This is, to a certain extent, inevitable: all children carry within them the rebellious spirit typical of someone who wants to explore everything that is not covered by adult explanations. However, this does not mean that there are not certain attitudes and strategies to make the education of the smallest something more bearable.

Here you have 7 tips that can be useful to improve your way of relating to disobedient boys and girls.

1. Set aside time to communicate with them

Nobody likes to follow rules that make no sense to them. Therefore, the delimitation of what can and cannot be done must be accompanied by the explanation of why these rules are useful. Concrete examples can be given to more easily illustrate the dangers that are avoided with certain rules, for example, or the advantages of following certain steps when doing things.

2. Emphasize the positive

It is helpful to let children know how well they are doing certain basic rules and recognize their efforts when they apply to comply with the rules. This, in addition to helping to strengthen ties with them, influences the image they have of themselves and it will make them assume that they are people who are good at following certain exercises of discipline. In this way, the possibility of breaking the rules will lose appeal.

3. Show no discrepancies or inconsistencies

Standards are useful if they are well established. So, adults should not challenge these rules in front of children, since the idea that no standard has to be adequate could be generalized to all of them. Similarly, it is best not to keep these behavior guidelines unchanged if there are no good reasons for doing so.

4. Do not always look for the origin of the problem in the child

Some rules simply they are not very suitable. They may be very difficult to follow, not well justified, or not conforming well to the goal for which they are aimed. The youngest of the house are curious and active by nature and it usually costs them effort follow the behavior guidelines that adults give them: that is why it is convenient that these are the adequate.

5. Dispense with the prizes as much as you can

Norms should not stand on prizes, since these shape a type of extrinsic motivation. Ideally, the little ones see the self-fulfillment of these rules as something positive, either because it strengthens their self-esteem or because it seems stimulating to meet these mini-goals.

6. Don't respond to their tantrums more aggressively

Addressing the episodes in which a child expresses her anger should not cause the same kind of anger in us. In these situations, the actions of a caregiver or educator must be oriented towards the education of the other person, instead of taking advantage of that context to discharge tensions (something that the boy or girl does not use at all that we do). Therefore, it is best to try to calm him down, for example, hugging his body, and wait a while until the subject of rules and duties is addressed. In this way, you will address these issues at a time when you are both receptive.

7. Accept that there are things about them that you will not be able to change

Education is in part helping young people to function well in the real world and understand the workings of the culture that surrounds them. However, That does not mean that to educate it is necessary to file all the edges of the boys and girls to the point that they perfectly fit the archetype of exemplary child. If you are the father or mother of these little ones, admitting that in each son or daughter there are aspects that cannot be controlled can make the paternity or maternity something more bearable.

One more tip: learn the importance of fostering healthy self-esteem in your child

When the child has a balanced and positive self-concept about himself, he is able to face daily life in a much healthier way. For the child to enjoy this good self-esteem it is very important that parents keep certain techniques and habits in mind.

You can find out by reading this post: "10 strategies to improve your child's self-esteem"