How to cope with a toddler's tantrums

For many people, knowing how to deal with childhood tantrums is one of the key aspects of parenthood and motherhood. And it is that although some boys and girls "behave well" in this regard and barely burst into tears and fights when they do not get what they want, the opposite cases are very common during the first years of lifetime.

Here we will see some Key ideas and strategies to help you manage these tantrums in the best possible way.

• Related article: ["The 8 types of emotions (classification and description)"] (/ psychology / types-of-emotions

What are tantrums?

Tantrums are the set of behavior patterns associated with frustration when it is expressed by young children. This is reflected in an aggressive attitude and that reveals the anger of the little one before a situation in which things do not go as they would like.

The frequency with which this kind of behavior depends mainly on the personality of each child, and there are to bear in mind that it is something normal in minors: in itself it is not indicative of a problem psychological. However, if it is a constant in the child's day to day, it is advisable to seek professional help by turning to a psychologist.

Causes

There is no single cause that explains the existence of childhood tantrums, but there are a multiplicity of factors that lead to their appearance. Among the most important we must highlight the difficulties that the little ones have when trying to repress their impulses; Due to the phase of development in which your brain is, the limbic system, which is the set of structures of the Central Nervous System that gives rise to emotions, has an influence on the frontal lobe that this second can hardly counteract and modulate adequately by putting abstract ideas such as values ​​or long-term goals term.

Because of this, boys and girls generally have a relatively short-term and self-centered mentality, because they do not have the ability to contrast their desires and desires with incentives to put them in the background in favor of what is best for them in the long run.

• You may be interested in: "How does emotional development occur in childhood?"

What to do before children's tantrums?

Follow these tips to help you cope when your son or daughter has a tantrum.

1. Do not antagonize

Even if the child has adopted an openly hostile attitude, it is important not to do the same and create a shouting contest. On the contrary, you have to adopt an attitude of serenity that contrasts with what you are doing, so that little by little you can make that emotion spread to the child.

2. If your movements expose you to danger, prevent injury

If you kick a lot or move in a way that could lead to injury, it is important to restrain your limbs.. In addition, this firm and constant body contact can help you calm down sooner, due to exhaustion. Of course, if in his tantrum he was not making energetic movements of that type, do not do this, since in that context it can be interpreted as a form of attack or intimidation.

3. Speak only when it calms down

Until the tantrum is nearly over, do not engage in a verbal dialogue. In that way he will understand that until the moment he does not leave that attitude, he will not be able to "negotiate" with you to access what you are looking for.

4. Be constant

Clearly show your attitude towards his tantrum, do not make contradictory decisions through inconsistent behavior. If not, you will not have the authority to calm him down.

5. Create incentives to behave well

Combine rewards for proper behavior with signs that tantrums are an unnecessary waste of energy that won't do you any good.. For example, if you were thinking of giving her a treat but then she throws a tantrum, wait to give it to her, so she doesn't associate her action with that consequence.

Do you want to have psychological assistance when raising children?

If you have problems in parenting tasks with a young son or daughter, I invite you to contact me. I am a psychologist specializing in the cognitive-behavioral intervention model and I have been helping people to better manage their emotions, their ways of coping with personal relationships and their habits from day to day day. You can count on my services in my office located in Madrid, or through online sessions by video call.

Bibliographic references:

• Berk, L. (1999). Child and adolescent development. Madrid: Prentice Hall Iberia.
• Comeche, M.I. & Vallejo, M.A. (2016). Behavior therapy manual in childhood. Dykinson. Madrid.
• Pernasa, P.D. & De Luna, C.B. (2005). Tantrums in childhood: what are they and how to advise parents. Pediatrics Primary Care, 7: pp. 67 - 74.
• Trianes, M.V. & Gallardo, J.A. (2000). Educational and Developmental Psychology. Pyramid.