7 steps to create better conversations

Intelligence is a very general mental capacity, and one of the areas of life in which it expresses itself more and better is in the conversations we have in real time with friends, colleagues, Potential customers... What we verbalize speaks about the type of person we are, and that is precisely why it is very important to master the communication skills involved in this activity very well.

Now, there are many elements that can interfere with our way of expressing ourselves: nervousness, disorganization, mental blocks... Knowing how to minimize its effect is also part of the communication skills that must be developed. If you want to start rowing in that direction, you can start by following these guidelines to know how to generate interesting, stimulating conversations and that involve others.

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How to create good conversations

Follow these guidelines and incorporate them into your daily habits: there are no magic solutions that are noticeable in two days, but there are medium and long-term results.

1. Enrich your mind

The first step to enrich the content of a conversation it is enriching one's own knowledge. Gaining cultural references about arts, politics and science, for example, makes us rarely not know what to say, because even if We do not know the subject well, we gain the ability to ask questions that contribute and that are meaningful to all who listen.

Of course, this step cannot be completed in a few hours, but it is the first that we must take, and apply it to our day by day reading books and articles, exposing ourselves to art frequently and, of course, participating in conversations Which brings us to the next point.

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2. Surround yourself with people you can learn from

The intellect is a muscle that is exerted by subjecting it to efforts, and for this we must try fill our lives with stimulating people. Knowing how to detect these people, moreover, is already a challenge: is this man we admire really interesting, or are we only impressed by his aesthetics and the agility with which he speaks? The best conversation is one that stimulates the whole mind, not just the ears and eyes.

3. Learn to follow rhythms

Many times, the problem that detracts from the quality of the conversation is simply the fact that not controlling the rhythms of participation. There are people who believe they have participated in a dialogue when in fact they have been listening without say nothing, and there are those who monopolize the turn to speak and make others want to leave for the boredom.

To improve this aspect, for example, if you think you have a tendency to talk too much, you can press a thumb against the palm of your hand during the whole time you speak; This way you will be reminding yourself all the time that you have been grabbing the attention for a while. If the opposite happens to you and you don't speak, play to detect pauses somewhat longer than normal in what the other says and to quickly think of something to say, even a single sentence, without changing the subject.

Of course, at first this will not improve the quality of the conversation (quite the opposite) but thanks to this you will get used to talking more and you will lose the fear of generating more dialogues symmetrical.

4. Put yourself in the place of others

Another problem with conversations has to do with the belief that others know the same as we do. This can make what is said not interesting to them (because they do not understand those references). It's good that you ask yourself what is the type of knowledge that others have, and adapt to them.

5. Really listen

Don't worry about your image; just get lost in what the other person says, her words. You will naturally look her in the face and often into her eyes, but don't get obsessed with it. Your attention should be on the speech.

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6. Don't be afraid to talk about yourself

You can talk about almost anything if you find a nimble way to tie it to the topic at hand in a conversation. If you think that an anecdote from your childhood says something about the ideological position that you talk about with your coworker, Bring it up, as long as it doesn't take long, so as not to ramble.

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7. Pay attention to signs of interest

When you speak, occasionally observe the reactions of others with the specific objective of assessing whether they are interested in what they hear. If you think not, "lighten content" develop an ending for what you are talking about and look for a "landing" on the topic that you think will interest (and that possibly had been tried before). As much as we master the art of the word, what matters and what does not is something that is decided by the group of people who participate in the conversation.