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Open relationships: 7 tips and mistakes to avoid

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It is well known that monogamy is a cultural phenomenon that varies depending both on the society in which it lives, and on the way each person perceives the relationships. Despite the fact that for many centuries the inhabitants of Western countries have seen in it the only possible way to conceive love, there are those who see further.

Although in reality they have always existed, in recent years open relationships have gained momentum, naturalizing and seeing itself as another type of relationship just as healthy and satisfactory as the rest. Now, the fact that they are a rarity in our cultural settings causes many myths to circulate about these relationships and their potential, a fact that can lead to errors and wrong expectations about what They are. Let's see how to avoid falling into these kinds of mistakes.

  • Related article: "Polyamory: what is it and what types of polyamorous relationships are there?

What are open relationships?

There are a large number of types of relationships And not all of them have to be based on monogamy. Outside of this category are the so-called open relationships.

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This type of relationship is characterized by the fact that the members of the relationship do not consider the monogamy necessary to maintain a relationship. healthy and stable couple relationship, so that through a common pact the possibility of maintaining relationships with third parties is established people.

These types of relationships can range from sporadic sexual relationships with other people to more or less stable romantic ties. Within this category may include temporary monogamy, polygamy, or relational anarchy.

Taking the initiative to start an open relationship, or turning a traditional relationship into one of the above, implies that the component of this make a change of mindset and change your perspective on how to live relationships both emotionally and sexual.

Since, no matter how convinced we are, this change is not always easy, below we will see a series of tips and suggestions for live an open relationship in a healthy and positive way.

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Tips for enjoying an open relationship

Through these 7 tips, couples who are thinking of starting an open relationship will be able to know what factors should be taken into account and what steps to follow when starting this type of intimate relationship, as well as the mistakes to avoid if it is to work.

1. Start from a healthy relationship

To be able to start with this new stage or format of the relationship it is essential that the couple maintain a strong bond, that the relationship works well and that there is trust in the other and security on the part of both members.

Although it does not always have to be this way, a well-functioning partner will be more likely to be successful in opening their relationship than one in which there is no degree of well-being and trust.

On the other hand, it will never be a good idea to open a relationship with the intention of saving her from a crisis or separation, since the frustrations and mistrust will only increase.

2. Do not do it out of obligation

If one of the two components of the couple proposes to start an open relationship the other does not have to accept by simple commitment or for fear that the relationship will end if it is not accepted.

The purpose of starting this type of relationship is to increase the well-being of the couple and to do more happy to both, so if you are not convinced or it is done out of obligation it is better to talk about it with the partner.

The first requirement for this type of relationship to succeed is that both of you sincerely want it and are convinced that you want to do it. Otherwise, it will not only affect the well-being of the couple, but it is most likely that it will end up breaking up.

3. Establish rules and limits

As in any other type of relationship, it is necessary for the couple to reach a consensus on what is allowed and what is not. Setting rules and limits will prevent misunderstandings and confusion, as well as providing security and confidence.

It is highly recommended to discuss calmly about these norms, as well as to express the needs of each one. A good way is for this to be reflected somewhere, to avoid unnecessary discussions if the case arises.

It is clear that, just as it is necessary to establish a series of rules, it is essential that these are complied with, since the opposite means that you are cheating on your partner in any way. Of course these rules may have some flexibility and they are capable of being modified to better adjust them to the needs of the relationship.

4. Be communicative

As mentioned above, communication is essential when maintaining this and any other relationship.

Manifest and express needs, thoughts, ideas and emotions in a sincere way is essential to ensure the future of the relationship. In the same way, it is essential to actively listen to the other when they are trying to communicate.

Concealing, pretending or deceiving the other, even if we sincerely believe that we are doing it for the good of the relationship, is never a good idea. Since it is very possible that sooner or later everything will come to light, increasing mistrust within the relationship.

  • You may be interested: "Infidelity: the second most important problem in relationships"

5. Forget about jealousy

If jealousy is no longer recommended in conventional relationships, in open relationships it makes no sense.

Taking into account that the basic idea of ​​open relationships is that one or both components of the couple are allowed to have intimate relationships, both sexual and emotional, with another person, jealousy has no place.

If both are sincere and comply with the pre-established rules, they do not have to appear jealous or mistrust.

On the other hand, if what is feared is that these relationships outside the couple end up causing strong feelings of love, it is It is necessary to know that open couples that are well created and established are more likely to be successful than couples traditional.

  • Related article: "https://psicologiaymente.com/pareja/motivos-aparecen-celos"

6. Being honest with other people

Just as important as sincerity in your partner is the sincerity with those other people with which intimate relationships are maintained outside the couple. Otherwise it is unfair for the third person not to know in what situation he is.

It is important that she knows the existence of a "main" relationship, as well as the agreed rules, in order to decide whether she wants to continue with that person or not. Otherwise, it may be hurt and, in addition, conflicts may appear with all the components of the relationship.

7. Make time for your partner

Last but not least, spending time with other people should not be careless of the couple's relationship. In order to maintain this type of relationship over time, it is necessary to protect and take care of the relationship day by day.

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