Polygamy: what does this type of marriage consist of?

The polygamy It is a type of marriage that, although it is rare in territories where Western culture predominates, is present in millions of families around the world.

Its most common type, the polygyny, is one in which the man has more than two wives, while the polyandry, in which the wife has several husbands, is much rarer.

However, the fact that in itself so many people live in polygamous families does not mean that this type of marriage is free from drawbacks. In fact, there are reasons to think that polygamy poses some very significant problems..

Polygamy lived through women

Experts such as Rana Raddawi, from the University of Sharjah, believe that women living in polygamous families in which a husband has several wives, they become involved in a dynamic in their relationships with serious emotional consequences for their wellness.

From A study based on conducting surveys of women living in polygyny, Raddawi observed how the feelings of strong abandonment and jealousy were much higher than expected.

. In other words, the fact that her husband also had other wives to associate with made the management of her time and certain resources a problem.

Related article: "The types of jealousy and their different characteristics"

Poor effectiveness of the rules on polygamy

In many cultures, polygamy associated with Islam is regulated by certain religious norms designed, in principle, so that the marriage between a man and several women does not cause problems or great surprises. However, these behavioral guidelines do not have to be applied or may not have the desired effect, and this is exactly what Raddawi found.

Many of the women she studied stated that their husbands fail to fulfill the roles expected of them as husbands. Among other things, They tended to point out that men did not spend enough time with them and that they did not meet their financial responsibilities to contribute to the family the money necessary to support it.

The consequences of polygamy for children

Rana Raddawi's research focused on how women experienced polygamy and the emotional impact it had about them, but it can be assumed that the impact of this way of life also affects many other people, for better or for worse. wrong. One may wonder, for example, about the children who are raised in polygamous families. Is this group harmed? It seems that it does, according to one of the most ambitious studies on the subject.

This is an investigation powered by Sisters in Islam, based on some 1,500 questionnaires with quantitative and qualitative parts passed to women residing in Malaysia. Among its results are many of the feelings of abandonment found by Raddawi, although this time in boys and girls.

For example, a significantly large proportion of sons and daughters reported feeling abandoned or abandoned when their father married a new wife. In the same way, as the number of wives and children increased, the scarcity of available resources had a negative impact on the little ones: basically, lack of affection and attention.

For example, about 60% of the sons and daughters of the first marriage were sad or angry upon learning about his father's upcoming second marriage. In addition, children belonging to families in which 10 or more children had been conceived and daughters, tended to say that their parents had trouble remembering which of their wives they had born. About 90% of the young respondents said that, based on their experiences, they would avoid getting into a polygamous marriage as they grew up.

Other negative consequences

As the mother is the only member of the family with whom the children have continuous contact, it is to be expected that the relationship of the little ones with them will be very different.

However, polygamy seems to have negative consequences in this regard as well, since boys and girls tend to blame their mothers for not knowing or not being able to capture the father's attention. That is, they perceive them as the cause of the abandonment they experience.

Taking into account the context

Before jumping to conclusions about the pros and cons of polygamy, one important fact needs to be considered: research on this topic is limited by definitionn, since there are too many polygamous families to study all of them; But, in addition, many of the problems associated with polygamy do not have to be due to polygamy itself. They can be produced by the use of polygamy in specific contexts.

For example, it is possible that in a very rich society polygamy was not experienced in the same way, especially if parents have enough resources to dedicate all hours to their families that they need.

But also, we must bear in mind that it is difficult to interpret the results of this study without knowing well the cultures in which it has been studied through them. Cultural bias is always there, and reading reports can make us a little wiser, but it doesn't. enough to give us greater ability to judge the polygamous life than those who live it directly.

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