Emotionally mature people: 6 traits that define them

Although there is much talk about the distinction between mature and immature peopleIn practice, it is not usually very clear what we are referring to. We sense that she has something to do with whether or not she has stepped into adulthood, but there is a lot of controversy about what exactly she is about to grow up.

For example, someone may think that maturity is reached by entering a state in which we learn to let go of things and see it all from a certain distance, while for others, it means starting to engage with the world and letting go of individualism and the selfishness. In short, each person identifies maturity with the ethical horizon to which they aspire to reach one day.

In addition, in most conversations about it, it is not very clear that behaving like adults is always the most desirable. Are there not aspects of childhood and adolescence that are highly valued? For example, spontaneity, curiosity or relative lack of prejudice are always seen as psychological aspects of the little ones that we should imitate.

Can you find a conception of what they are emotionally mature people make it more consistent than we usually do when we speak? Actually, yes.

• Related article: "8 characteristics of emotionally immature people"

How are people emotionally mature?

Several investigations have shown that one of the traits that most distinguish mature people and young children is gratification delay, the ability to think about objectives that we want to achieve in the medium or long term. For example, when you are very young it is much more difficult to refrain from reaching for a candy and eating it even though They have informed us that if after a few minutes we have not been tempted they will give us many more prizes such as that.

This is due, in part, to the way our nervous system matures: initially, the interconnections between neurons located in distant areas of the brain. They are relatively few in number, so we can only think in a non-abstract way, that is, in little concrete goals and nothing significant beyond pleasure. righ now.

As we grow, the areas of the brain become more connected to each other through the white matter, so that our ability to think abstractly improves and, with it, our propensity to take into account long-term and broader objectives. However, even in adults there are individual differences between those who bet everything on the ephemeral and those who try to make their lives based on something more transcendent.

From this information, it is possible to understand what emotional maturity really consists of applied to how we relate to our goals and to other people. In a rough way, emotionally mature people look like this:

1. They accept emotional commitments

It is not mandatory to make any affective relationship governed by the norms that characterize monogamy. However, emotionally mature people they ensure that their closest relationships are sustained by a series of commitments that will avoid situations of indirect emotional blackmail. The important thing for these people is to reject one-sidedness.

2. They are not afraid of love

Emotionally mature people are capable of not obsessing over unfounded fears about what may happen in the long term, because they learn not to overestimate the opportunity cost (what we are supposedly missing by doing what we are doing).

Thus, they are not afraid of the possibility of becoming emotionally involved with someone. After all, have a complete, global and realistic vision of what will happen to us in the future It implies not idealizing or torturing oneself for not experiencing things that very possibly would not have happened either.

• You may be interested: "Mature love: why is the second love better than the first?"

3. They know how to express their priorities

A good part of what it means to know how to regulate your own emotions and desires when setting priorities in life is to know how to communicate to the rest in a consistent way what you want to do. Who really knows that his scale of values ​​and what motivates him are something legitimate and worthy, does not hide it.

4. They value friendships for themselves, not as an instrument

For emotionally mature people, the bonds of friendship that bind them to others are something that deserves to be cultivated, investing time and effort in them.

This is so because friendship is always something more than those specific moments of chatting and fun with friends, something that anyone can appreciate in a superficial way; they are projects that unfold in time and that, therefore, mean something. A friend cannot be substituted.

For this reason, those who are mature stop investing time in relationships that do not mean anything, even if the environment pressures to stay next to certain people, and they focus on those that do fulfill.

5. They face emotional contradictions directly

Emotions are by definition irrational, and that is why they often contradict each other; it is something that also occurs in mature people. What distinguishes the latter from the rest is that they face these situations directly, recognizing that they feel something complex, instead of pretending the problem doesn't exist and try to direct attention to vain distractions. In this way, they are able to take control of the situation sooner, which means that they benefit in the long term.

6. They don't procrastinate

Procrastination, which is the tendency to leave for another day what can be done in the present, is something common in many people. Emotionally mature people, by not giving in to immediate temptations if this hurts them in the medium and long term, they do not let these situations get out of control and they attend to their responsibilities and obligations when it comes time.