The benefits of accepting things as they are

Accepting things as they are is not to sit idly by watching life go by as if we could do nothing.

For Jon Kabat Zinn, creator of one of the most influential techniques both mentally and physically, based on Buddhism and called Mindfulness, acceptance is; "... see things as they are in the present moment."

On the other hand, from the Stoic philosophical current that emerged in Greece centuries ago, Epictetus already pointed out that "the wise man is one who willingly accepts all the circumstances of life without desiring others."

A) Yes, Acceptance would not mean that the person moves away from the world and reality, but on the contrary. Rather, putting acceptance into practice would mean preparing ourselves mentally to be able to act toward what we consider valuable, natural and good both physically and mentally despite the circumstances.

• Related article: "What is Mindfulness? The 7 answers to your questions"

Acceptance is not resignation

Resignation violates Stoic principles, since with it, we block ourselves and accept the fact of doing nothing. And accepting is not doing nothing.

In addition, when we resign ourselves to the events of daily life, we are practically giving control of our mood and our actions derived from it, to something external to us.

As we fall prey to resignation and victimhood, suffering increases and our tolerance for frustration decreases., making it difficult to relate to reality in a way in which we feel that what strictly depends on us is controlled or put into play.

That is, if we blame our anger on our brother, because he annoys us when he makes comments in front of the family about our physical condition, it is more difficult for us to do something to change the way we relate to that. It is more difficult because we can feel the feeling that nothing can be done to solve this difficulty, and that after a few attempts things remain more or less the same.

Instead, if we accept the thoughts and emotions that arise from deep within us, the fact of accepting it already gives us a disposition from which to take a valuable action for us.

A vital attitude that prepares us for change

Returning to the physical state, imagine that you do not like the image you have of yourself. Imagine that you do not like your body and that this is something that has been causing you discontent and concern for a long time., even years.

Now, let's say that you propose to train and put the appropriate means to change your physique and that, after two weeks of hard training, you get frustrated because you do not see the results that you expected or that you had proposed. You started out motivated, you drew up the plan, you adjusted to it with great discipline but for whatever reason, you didn't lose two kilos, you lost half a kilo.

Therefore, you decide to take a sabbatical week because overall, if all the effort made has only resulted in that, what difference does it make.

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Focus on control, not the result

The fact of not accepting that things do not turn out as we expect, does not imply that for this reason we have to stop doing them. Accepting that we have made an effort and that we have not obtained the desired results prepares us to persevere, that is; Act.

On the other hand, if our reaction to the results is based on resignation, with thoughts of the type “it does not matter what I do because at most I lose half a kilo in two weeks ”, we are allowing ourselves to lose control of something that we really can control. Y what we could control in this situation is perseverance, discipline and commitment. But if we see things from resignation, our mind will find it very difficult to act to feel better, to lose weight or to improve ourselves in other ways.

What helps us learn to accept things

In short, accepting implies accepting reality as it is. Y one of the things we learn from reality is that nothing stays forever, neither what we detest nor what we love.

Accepting the facts without being horrified or losing our roles for them, gives us the ability to respond better to a situation that when we let ourselves be carried away by what impressions and thoughts bring to mind about that event.

In conclusion, and as the Stoics suggested, sometimes It can help us to distrust our first impressions, judgments and primary emotions before the events that we live day by day, since this, precisely, contributes to not distancing ourselves from situations, thus losing contact with ourselves and with what if it depends on our control, and facilitating that we are more willing to resign ourselves and not to accept things as They are.