Why Setting Limits In Relationships Is Healthy

Setting limits on personal relationships it means letting other people know that they have wants and needs different from yours. But, in addition to doing so, we respect each other.

And it is that, although setting limits may seem an unnecessary imposition if we have a certain conception of what fluid personal relationships are, the truth is that this kind of strategies based on assertivenessIn practice, it allows us to be more free.

• Related article: "Learning to say "No""

Why can it be difficult to set limits?

Many and different reasons may be involved in the difficulty of setting limits:

1. A biased view of who wants what

Poor differentiation between oneself and others, which causes that it is not known with certainty where their own needs and those of the other begin.

2. Fear of conflict

The person avoids at all times entering into conflict by feeling incapable of defending her opinions. Due you avoid expressing your own opinion and disagreement with the other.

3. Emotional blockage from the anger or rage of the other person

For this reason, on many occasions, the person is complacent (much to her regret) with the needs of others.

4. Fear of being rejected by the other person

It consists of the fear of emotional, social, family, and work rejection. It may also appear fear of losing the affection and love of the other person, and panic of being criticized.

5. Lack of assertiveness

Learning to say that it can't be complicated. The not knowing how to communicate our limits it can cause us to avoid talking about them, thus reinforcing and maintaining the situation of being unable to expose them.

6. Low self-esteem

Feeling without the right to defend your own needs inhibits their presentation. The person, feeling without this recognition, may consider that her needs are not as important as those of others, "Mine can wait."

• Related article: "Low selfsteem? When you become your worst enemy"

7. Difficulty managing frustration and anger

Feeling without emotional tools to manage these emotions, the person may choose to "swallow" them, thus causing the The fact that has caused them (in this case the need to set a limit) is not managed, choosing to prioritize the demands of the other.

8. Experiencing feelings of guilt 

This can be frequent when we try to defend our wishes. The person can experience guilt in asserting your needs.

9. Difficulty in making decisions

Deciding requires accepting and rejecting.

Why does setting limits make us feel better?

Self-esteem benefits, social skills and assertiveness management increase, and the feeling of internal security is improved. All of this is reflected in interpersonal relationships. The people around you will know where your limits begin and end, this will have favorable consequences for you and your relationships:

1. The people around you will be able to know you more

Paradoxically, the fact of always giving in to the expectations of others alienates us from the people we are with.

2. Create egalitarian relationships

You give them the opportunity, and you too, to relate to them as equals, without the need to subordinate yourself to their mandates.

3. Encourage honest communication

They will be able to take into account your needs and wishes, which will avoid misunderstandings and it will promote a sincere relationship based on mutual respect.

4. Prevents stress crises and frustration

You will not feel an obligation to put the needs of others before your own. This will prevent you from experiencing feelings of stress, frustration, anxiety, and overwhelmed in personal, family, social, and work relationships.

• You may be interested: "10 essential tips to reduce stress"

5. Extend the life of your relationships

All of the above will improve the flow of communication within your relationships, increasing their quality and satisfaction.

6. You add coherence to your actions

Another benefit of knowing and exposing your own limits is that you will create a consistent internal speech, in addition to feeling coherence between your thoughts, emotions and actions, thus increasing the feeling of control over your lifetime.

The key is assertiveness

Knowing how to set limits to others and communicate them appropriately allows you to create and strengthen feelings related to autonomy, personal worth, sociability, spontaneity, creativity and well-being personal. It makes it possible to identify and adequately define the needs of each moment, making the person feel the protagonist of their choices, thus generating the tranquility of feeling responsible and confident in the scenario of life.