What happens when a psychopath falls in love

When we think of the term "psycho," what image comes to mind? Probably, that of a male, between twenty and thirty years old, devoid of remorse and cold as an iceberg; and with irrepressible impulses towards the most barbaric and sadistic acts that we can imagine.

However, To what extent do we project a stereotype promoted by the media?Is it really a pathology with a higher incidence in the male gender? Recent research has provided new information on subjects with this disorder, including what is it really like to fall in love with one of them.

Related article: "Psychopathy: what happens in the psychopath's mind"

Love and psychopathy: an impossible pairing?

Psychopathy takes many forms, one of which includes a subclinical variety of people with scores highlighted in personality tests that measure their predisposition toward psychopathic tendencies (although not as behaviour per se). If it is interpreted as a continuum in which the scores to be obtained are modifiable, it can be seen how the degree in that the subject has psychopathic tendencies is linked to other aspects of their psychology and relationships interpersonal.

Psychopaths and love relationships: scientific literature

There is reason to think that subclinical psychopaths might have difficulties in their intimate relationships. According to a study carried out at the Laval University (Quebec) in 2015, common criminals adopt an insecure (avoidant) attachment style, which makes it difficult for them to create deep relationships with others.

Those who fit the classification of "psychopathic personality disorder" (regardless of whether or not they engage in criminal behavior) tend to display behaviors associated with an avoidant attachment style, thus being clumsy to establish any kind of intimate relationship. Two of the key indicators of this disorder, emotional detachment and lack of empathy, are also associated with maladaptive attachment styles.

Yes, psychopaths can also have romantic relationships

Even so, subjects with typical psychopathic manifestations can engage in romantic relationships, without necessarily implying that they will marry later or not, or that they will establish a more serious commitment bond. It is true that these relationships may not be the result of a real psychological intimacy in the strict sense, but of the convenience of a couple with a common point of view of the world that would justify them both trying to get the most out of the rest of people.

The lack of empathy and the inability to express emotions of a certain psychological depth could lead to the disintegration of their bond due to the adoption of destructive patterns of interaction between both that would go in increase. In extreme cases, up to there could be abuse and violence, but it would not be frequent.

Even those couples that a priori seem doomed to failure are apt to prosper if the most psychologically balanced individual is able to exert her influence on the other. Over time, this would allow them to form a bond that would favor the development of a greater degree of trust, even to be able to observe the situations from the perspective of the other.

Attachment and psychopathy

To discover how attachment style and psychopathy can evolve over time, the A team of researchers from the University of Laval used a sample of couples who had been married for a year. This made it possible to examine mutual effects and influences during the study time. In total there were 140 couples, aged between eighteen and thirty-five, who had been together for an average of seven years.

Participants completed a series of questionnaires separately, scoring themselves on scales that were designed to measure their tendencies towards low empathy and manipulation (features of what is known as "psychopathy primary"); as well as their inclination to carry out antisocial behaviors (attributes typical of "secondary psychopathy"). Added to this, the attachment style of each one was measured, along with their degree of anxiety in the face of abandonment and avoidance, understood as the inability to want to get closer to others.

The aim of the subjects to “self-rate” in two different categories allowed the research team to Researchers assess the influence of each member of the couple on the scores of their partner. All couples were heterosexual, so the study design favored considering the influence between both sexes.

The authors were able to compare the intensity of the relationship of the “actor” (the one who exerted the influence ”) over the other (the one who received it). They also had to consider the temporal changes of each man and woman separately from the effect that the spouse caused them and that, in turn, each had on the other.

The psychopathic personality, closely linked to the fear of intimacy in the couple

What could be deduced from all this? The “actor-actor” effects showed that, in the case of men (but not women) with higher scores in primary psychopathy in the first test (insensitivity), higher levels of attachment avoidance could be predicted at the time of the second test. Men also expressed stronger relationships over time between primary psychopathy and anxiety derived from attachment, which means that the more psychopathic the man is, the more he will be suspicious of intimacy.

For both men and women, the attributes inherent to psychopathy (those that lead to in antisocial acts) predicted higher levels of attachment avoidance and anxiety with increasing weather. Impulsive and irresponsible behaviors were intrinsically linked to fear of rejection and a tendency to leave one's partner.

According to the results of the effects of the "actor-partner" pattern of men towards women, it was concluded that, for them, having a male partner with levels of psychopathy more outstanding in the two dimensions (impulsivity and insensitivity) already from the beginning of the relationship, leads them to end up separating from he. In contrast, men paired with women with high scores only on the impulsivity dimension, became more anxious in their attachment style. On the other hand, those women with antisocial propensities instilled in their spouses fear of being disowned, in addition to making them more dependent and emotionally unstable.

General trends, not causalities

Do we have to think that this correlation necessarily implies a cause-effect relationship? The structure of the study allowed us to conclusively examine those pathways of psychopathy that predict attachment and, conversely, what are the attachment paths that predict such disorder. In short, the qualities of the psychopathic personality must be understood from a binomial perspective and more as predictors of insecure attachment styles, and not the other way around.

In conclusion

So, from everything that has been said so far, what ideas do we have to keep?

For those women who date men who tend to be insensitive and emotionally harsh at the end of the psychopathic spectrum: be vigilant, as the worst is yet to come. The inability of your partner to empathize with you will only cause you to end up finding refuge in yourself.

Regardless of whether you are the man or the woman in the relationship and whether your spouse is highly impulsive, the couple will tend to suffer significant ups and downs. If you are the ones who show typical behaviors of psychopathy, your (already little) ability to relate intimately with the person with whom you have committed will be diminished as the weather.