Psychological profile of the emotional blackmailer, in 5 traits

The emotional blackmailer is a type of person used to manipulating others for personal gain. That is to say, he has become accustomed to using methods to limit the decision-making power of his victims to lead them to a certain decision.

However, there are some characteristics that distinguish emotional blackmailers of another class of manipulators and, in fact, in many respects they are more difficult to detect than normal. That is why it is good to know some red flags to identify the behavior patterns that give these people away.

• Related article: "Manipulative people have these 5 traits in common"

The profile of the emotional blackmailer

Not all emotional blackmailers have to exhibit all of these characteristics, although they tend to exhibit a good portion of them. Keep in mind that emotional blackmailing is not a personality trait, but a way of relating, or relational dynamics, which has been learned and internalized, many times even almost unconsciously.

That means the range of personality types behind emotional blackmailers can vary, although some are more likely than others to indulge in this type of behavior. Thus, to recognize emotional blackmailers it is not so important to study the personality of the other, but

see in real time how you interact with others.

Let's move on to the traits and habits of the emotional blackmailer.

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1. They show vulnerabilities artificially

It is very typical of emotional blackmailers to talk about or tacitly refer to their own weaknesses even when that doesn't fit the topic well which is being talked about.

It is relatively normal to talk in a disruptive way about what makes us sad or what makes us feel "weak", since many times we need to take advantage of any moment of social interaction to express our feelings. However, in emotional blackmailers this has become a habit and occurs more frequently than usual.

Normally, these kinds of "free" comments and out of context can be interpreted as a signal alert that the other person feels very bad, instead of recognizing in them a strategy to manipulate. The following habit allows you to better distinguish what is really happening.

2. The victimizing comments are aimed at a few people

Emotional blackmailers do not make these pessimistic comments to anyone they trust, but only to those they want to manipulate.

This is something that reveals the instrumental eagerness of this behavior; it's not just about asking for help, but to make someone in particular do something specific.

3. The instrumental use of hints

Emotional blackmailers use ambiguity to their advantage to make certain people begin to think that they have reason to feel guilty. That is why they usually resort to hints posted on social networks in a public or almost public way, relatively short texts (to make sure they are read in their entirety).

Faced with the uncertainty of whether the message is directed to oneself and the tension that this produces, we tend to logical thinking style and we started to use soft thinking, that is, intuitive and based on the emotional.

In this way, emotional blackmailers achieve a very curious effect; As we notice that we feel bad about the uncertainty, we interpret that discomfort produced by the ambiguity of the message itself as a sign of our guilt.

4. Spreading the rumor of the conflict

Emotional blackmailers will rarely express signs of anger or enmity to the people they want to manipulate, but they can inoculate the idea of ​​unresolved tension. spreading rumors through the person's social circle.

For example, in front of others, and privately, they can make statements that show a certain sadness for the estrangement or the alleged indifference that is supposedly making the victim a colder, more individualistic and egocentric. All this, of course, is not explained directly, but through hints.

When a few people in our social circle have perceived this idea, it is easier to come to assume that everyone else is right and that you are wrong. If we analyze more what others believe about us, we would come to the conclusion that they too have been manipulated as a strategy to affect us indirectly. However, the "law of silence" and social conventions make researching the matter difficult.

5. Disconcerting passive-aggressive attitude

The emotional blackmailers they do not use the passive-aggressive attitude constantly, but they do at key moments, so that its use has more powerful effects.

This means that on certain occasions the other person will act as if he expects nothing from the person. victim, so theatrically that he seems to mean the opposite: "You could be doing a lot more for me".