How to get rid of negative labels

We live in the society of branding, all the objects that surround us they carry a label where its brand, its components, its owners, its geographical origin or its mode of use are specified, among many other things.

These labels have an obvious utility, since lead us to get a fairly approximate idea of ​​what we have in front of the naked eye, with a single glance. For example, in the case of a product for sale to the public, in a single glance we will get the idea (more or less approximate reality) of whether it is of higher or lower quality, before even knowing its properties in depth.

Tags in people: between prejudice and ignorance

The fact is that we subjects carry “tags” long before objects carry them. Labels given to us by the people around us and with whom we live, and even labels that we put on ourselves for some reason.

These labels can define us at some specific time and under certain circumstances (or not) but people, at Unlike objects, we have a great capacity for change in the way we interact with other people and with ourselves. Plasticity and 

resilience They are the elements that give us the power to change.

Can you fight a label?

The advantages of these categories are obvious: save effort.

However, in certain circumstances it can be really tricky to get rid of a negative label (or even positive if we consider that it can negatively affect us in some way).

The story of María "La Patosa"

To explain what a label is and how it can cope with us, I propose the following story:

Maria was a twelve-year-old girl who lived with her family. She had a twin brother who was very agile in competitive sports, and she, on the other hand, did not stand out for that ability, although she was not bad either. Her brother, when they played together, called him "Maria the clumsy." Every time they went to play soccer in the town square, her parents told her brother "take care of María and don't run too much, you already know that she is not as agile as you".

Later, when she had to go to school, the girl did not want to participate in sports, and she justified herself with her friends "it's just that I'm a clumsy one." Maria grew up and with her her label. Her friends joked: "don't let Maria do that, she's a clumsy one and she will fall." And so time went by.

When she arrived at the institute, María was already La Patosa, when she tried to do things that required physical agility, She would get very nervous and then, obviously, her nerves played tricks on her, reaffirming her condition of clumsy. But Maria, she was not clumsy, Maria wore the tag of clumsy.

Does this story of María "La Patosa" sound familiar to you?

Tags often appear in groups, sometimes unimportant, sometimes with some utility in certain circumstances. There are many labels that are like a post-it and they are temporary, but there are also tattoo: lso they become chronic leaving a mark on our personality.

The Pygmalion Effect and expectations

There are several areas of the psychology that investigate the important role that labels have in our way of relating to each other. It is known, for example, that an essential part of our daily behaviors depends on expectations that are not only about concrete situations (a master class, a play, etc.) but also about the people involved in these situations.

Thus, for example, something called Pygmalion effect: something as abstract and immaterial as expectations about oneself and other people has an expression material in our way of acting, even pushing our capacities beyond the limits that we believed we had.

That is why It's worth spending some time reflecting on whether the labels we use to describe ourselves They help us understand ourselves better or, on the contrary, they limit us unnecessarily.

Ending negative labels

Eliminating these limiting labels basically consists of recognizing them as such and acting accordingly.

For the first it is necessary ask a series of questions about our own self-image. You can start, first by answering these points:

• What labels do I carry?
• What adjectives have accompanied me throughout life?
• Who put them on me and why?
• Which ones have helped me?
• Which ones have hurt me?
• Which ones have been useful and are no longer useful?

From these questions, it is advisable to move on to more specific ones for specific cases in order to arrive at the most exhaustive analysis possible. However, this would not take long, in order to commit to trying to reach clear conclusions that allow us to move forward from that point.

From there, it is good to examine our habitual behaviors and reflect on whether we are being consistent with self-image renovated that we saw after the examination period. This may take a while, but all the big changes are worth it.