The key social skills to improve your relationships

What we know as social skills are one of the contents that we most frequently intervene in psychology consultation. These skills make it easier for us to increase our well-being both with ourselves and in our relationship with others. Social skills can and should be learned.

If you are able to use them constantly you will be able to show them in a natural way; with almost no effort, they will be a habit for you.

Social skills to improve your relationships

I show you below the following social skills from which to improve your relationships on a day-to-day basis, divided according to the phase through which the communication passes.

1. When starting a conversation

You must try to express yourself naturally, show interest and put yourself in the place of the other, be empathetic.

Say hello and introduce yourself (if the interlocutor does not know you). Look into their eyes when you converse with the other person. Try to say the positive characteristics of the other person without being "artificial." Your goal is to convey a good image to the person you are talking to. It would be interesting if you comment or ask about the reason that generates the meeting.

Try to modulate the volume of your voice so that it is neither too high nor too low, or having inappropriate body postures.

2. When having a conversation

Listen actively, showing interest. There must be a proportionality between what you speak and what you hear so that you and your interlocutor can both intervene and express yourselves.

Make gestures to show that you are listening, and when you want to intervene. It is very important that you maintain eye contact. What you transmit verbally must be related to the object of interest of the meeting and avoid “going around the bush”. When you want to change the subject, say so. Do not exclusively use monosyllables in your speeches.

• You may be interested: "Active listening: the key to communicating with others"

3. By giving explanations

Explain why you are denying a friend or acquaintance a request or favor. Can you offer some alternative solution. Distinguish the possible manipulation attempts that can be made with:

• Free compliments ("how are you so good ...", "how you always do so well ...").
• Empty reviews ("I'll never ask you again ...", "Don't worry, I'll never ask you for help ...")
• Feelings of guilt ("I didn't believe that about you ...", "I'm sad because you don't help me ...").

In these three cases, you must empathize with the reasons that lead our friends or acquaintances to express themselves this way, but you must remain firm if you are clear that your position is the ideal one for your interests.

4. To ask for a favor

It is common to consider that others know what we need or / and want. This is not usually the case.

On certain occasions you will have to ask for a favor and you will have to do it with confidence that your loved ones will attend to your request. Do not consider from the outset that they are going to deny the favor. And if so, surely they will have justified reasons for it.

5. Serenity in the face of criticism

In the face of criticism, do not get carried away by the initial impulse, reason, ponder and reflect on what they tell you.

At the outset, don't consider criticism an attack. Your first reaction is probably immediate defense through a justification or a counterattack. Avoid both outright counterattack and systematic defense.

6. Firmness

It is what I recommend when accepting or rejecting another person.

Life is a paradox. On many occasions, you put up with resignation to people you can't stand or don't like at all, and yet you attack those you love the most... Is it because you have confidence? Show firmness in these situations, whether it is to consolidate friendships or not to have companies that do not interest you. For this I suggest you use the behaviors appropriately:

Approach

Smile, keep your eyes on, position your body towards the other person and demonstrate with words and gestures the interest we have in what he says or does, etc.

Of rejection

Show verbally and non-verbally in a polite way what is necessary for the other person to perceive our feeling of lack of interest, responding to their comments with monosyllables, withdrawing the look, saying goodbye courteously.

7. Recognizing mistakes

Express humility and recognize that you have been wrong, we all make mistakes that we must recognize, since that is of mature and balanced people.

Also, if you apologize, you will even earn respect and social recognition. If you hide mistakes, you will manifest weakness.

8. Receiving recognition

Don't resort to false modesty when being flattered or recognize a job well done. Consider that compliments are sincere when they come from people around you who you know value you.

I recommend that you thank and accept the recognition from whoever does it. Give thanks and express the great effort and effort you have put into achieving what the other person values.

9. Admitting your ignorance

You don't have to know everything. You should consider that admit that you do not know about the topic that is being discussed in a conversation, it's not bad.

Avoid arrogance and do not use phrases such as: "yes, I already knew ...", "you are going to tell me ...", even if you knew them in advance. On the contrary, I recommend that you show interest in what others are talking about, even if you know more about it than your companions.

If you do not control the subject matter, you should not get carried away by thoughts such as "what will they think if I say I do not know ...", "I should know more about the subject they are talking about ...". Giving importance to these thoughts will not help you.

10. At the end of the conversation

You have to get to the point to finish and not prolong the conversation any longer than necessary.

You must have "suffered" conversations that never seemed to end. You have every right in the world to choose and sincerely express your desire to end the conversation. For this reason, do not consider that it is rude to interrupt the person who speaks to us; believe that you are going to be offended. You have to say something like: "Sorry to interrupt you, but I have to go ...".