How to help a child who feels rejected? 7 useful tips

Unfortunately, nowadays there are many children who feel rejected. They feel this way when they perceive that they are different, whether on a physical, verbal, behavioral, sentimental or intellectual level; to their peers, friends, class children or sometimes with relatives.

All those children who are to some extent "different" or excel in some aspect with respect to the rest of the companions or friends are those who tend to suffer that they are put aside or that they do the empty. Like, for example, the typical “chubby”, the “nerd”, the “repipi”, the “snitch”... All of them are the ones most likely to be rejected. But it is not an essential requirement either, many children are rejected without having any of the characteristics mentioned above.

In this sense, the important question is... What should parents or family members do when they begin to sense this situation or if the child himself tells them directly? How or in what way can we help a child who feels rejected? Let's look at several practical tips.

• Related article: "The 6 stages of childhood (physical and mental development)"

Helping Children Who Feel Rejected

Based on our professional experience, in Psychologists Málaga PsicoAbreu We recommend these guidelines on how to help your child:

1. Strengthen communication

The first thing we must do is talk to the child, listen to him and understand how he feels. It is important not to treat him as a victim or to imply that it is a hopeless situation. For example, if you have not been invited to an excursion or a party, it is essential to tell them that it would have been fun to go, but that there will surely be more parties or excursions. It is important that he understands, understands and expresses what he feels in case it happens again on another occasion.

• You may be interested: "The 28 types of communication and their characteristics"

2. Encourage him not to go after anyone

On the other hand, it is important to explain to children (always adapting to their age), that if there is a classmate, a friend or group that has put it aside, they should not try to be their friend. Do not force the situation, If that group of children do not accept you, surely there will be others who have the same tastes and are more comfortable with them.

3. Help you understand rejection

It is also important to know the reason for the rejection. Sometimes there are children who have negative or aggressive behavior, and that is why they stay away from it. Like, for example, if he gets angry when he loses in a game, if he does not do what the child wants, if he answers wrong, etc. Therefore, it is important to find out and for the child to realize what is happening, to give him the necessary skills and solve it.

4. Work and improve social skills

Sometimes children feel rejected because they do not know how to relate to other classmates, or they do not understand non-verbal language well. They are embarrassed to start a conversation, or they just don't know.

Therefore, it is important to teach him some basic notions of how to relate to others, or how to respond in complicated situations (conflict resolution), work and explain empathy, assertiveness, self-control, etc

5. Reinforce self-esteem

Another aspect that would be essential to improve is to strengthen self-esteem; when a child feels that rejection automatically his self-esteem decreases. You start to feel inferior and compare yourself to others. That is why it is important for the child to feel that he is worth, downplaying the issue of rejection and making him see that he is not alone, that he has his family and that he can make other friends.

It is important for him to understand that being rejected is not something that arises in him, but simply happens because others are not like the child; Maybe they have other tastes different from yours and probably what you have to do is try to find other children who like the same as him.

6. Ask for help at school

If necessary, talk to the teacher. Sometimes we do not know what happens in the classroom, our children can tell us their version, but not know the reality.

If, after carrying out the previous advice, we continue to have the suspicion that the child continues to have rejection problems, it would be advisable to speak with his tutor and that tell us what is really happening, so that he can help us at school level, or even to talk with other parents, if appropriate, to solve the problem. trouble.

7. Seeking professional help in psychotherapy

And, finally, another resource that would be of great help if we see that our son is having a hard time would be to ask a professional for help to give him the necessary tools and skills in case he finds himself in a similar situation again.

Many children are rejected, and if this is prolonged, it can turn into bullying. Therefore, it is important to detect it and solve the problem.

Many times parents do not have the necessary tools or do not know how to help the little one, because they are not objective with their children. Therefore, it is essential that they apply the above advice, and also ask for help for both the child and themselves. In the case of the child, to provide him with communication and resolution skills; and in the case of parents to receive more specific guidelines on how to help the child.